Auld Lang Syne

Edinburgh's Hogmanay, or New Year's Celebration.

This song is used to ring in the New Year the world over, and few beyond the Scots have any real idea what it's talking about.  I know, because I love Burns' poetry and songs, and have studied, also I have some Scots blood in my veins.

This is a song about remembering.  About remembering old friends, and good times gone by.  It's about the passing of time, and how we can lose people, if we aren't awfully careful not to.
It is basically asking should we forget all the good times we had before?  Should we forget our old friends?  The answer the song gives in itself is no.  We should remember.  "We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne."  Basically, we'll drink a toast in honor of those times long since.

The whole gist of it is that we should remember the good times, the friendship, and be happy.  We'll be glad we're still friends, in spite of all the time and the life that has passed since the old days.

This New Year's Eve, as I hear the song again, and see many more than slightly inebriated people trying to sing it, I will hope that they are able to remember the good times and the good friends that make life worth living, as I remember mine.

So many of you,  some of you even read this blog!  I will remember you, and raise my glass in honor of and in thanksgiving for, your friendship.  I'm honored to know you!

I think of some I've known since high school, like Brenda, and Kathleen, and Patricia, and Liz.  There's even a guy out there who was really a friend of my brother's, so he's known me about ALL my life - Roy.  Then there are the church friends, the military friends,some of whom we still see, and some we only hear from once in a while.
All the friends from work, who have been through software changes, tornado procedures, new technology, and many, many Summer Reading Programs with me.  We have an awful lot of "auld lang syne" between us, and it's all been wonderful because of your dedication to the community and keeping our library a great resource for everyone.
Then, there are my fellow #PerlGirls.  Fi, Mary, Kelly, Jana, Mallory, Paulette, Patti, Brina, Linda, Marie, Anna, and Amy. (Almost forgot our "baby sister", Chloe!)  You ladies are  fabulous.  We don't have much "auld lang syne" between us yet, but we are gathering new memories daily!  Love you, girls, and we love The Man Himself, too,
 of course!!
SO much love tonight, as we look forward to a new year in which to keep our friendships stitched together through distance, time, work, and the cares of life.  May you always remember the fun times when you need a smile, and remember I'm here if you need a shoulder to lean on.  Friendship is the greatest gift there is, and I have been given some wonderful gifts over the years!
God Bless, and may 2015 be better and brighter than you could have imagined.

Auld Lang Syne
By Robert Burns

chorus : Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint stowp!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the brae,
And pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fitt,
Sin auld lang syne

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd.
Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my tursty fiere!
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
For auld lang syne.

Dougie MacLean singing Auld Lang Syne

Things that Bug Me

Fingers that are unbending and a bit sore when I wake up.

Eyes that take longer to focus.

Housework that seems to multiply exponentially overnight.

Electronic devices that have "helpful" software.

The way my thumbnails seem to reach a certain length and then disintegrate.

People who don't know how to play stop sign.

Freight trains that are 5 to 7 miles long and pass SLOWLY through town at rush hour.

The fact that Texas won't keep its blasted cedar pollen to itself.

When OU's football team acts like they can't remember how to play football.  Makes my friends sad.

How time speeds up when I have something important I need to finish, or when I have something good to read.

These are merely minor irritations.  There are many things in this world that disturb me greatly.  Probably the same things that disturb most people.  Injustice.  The increase of poverty. Racism.  The unrelenting slavery to greed.  Those things require reflection and discussion.  These little irritations merely need a mention, so as to get them off my mind, and perhaps for others to say , "Ha. Yeah, me, too."

So, these are my pet peeves du jour.  I am sure on other days, I will think of other things.  

Christmas Day Reflections

I wonder what it is about this day that makes me want to wander out on windswept moors, or through winter bare woods.  Every year, I find myself wanting to walk through nature on Christmas Day, finding evidence of God's peace and the new light born into the world even in desolate places.

I just looked at a long term weather forecast.  Snow on Tuesday and Wednesday.   Seriously?   Good grief.

I took a little walk around the neighborhood.   Here's some photos. 

Early part of sunset from corner of 12th and Foxfire

Some neighborhood lights.

More neighborhood lights.

 Lights again.

 

Stars in the tree look suspiciously like July 4th decorations.

Lots of dead toons in this yard.  Rumor has it they reanimate like Zombies after dark.

One of the more enthusiastic decorators in the neighborhood.

Go Home Frosty!  You're DRUNK!!

Looking North, believe it or not.

Sunset almost back to corner at 12th and Foxfire

The welcome lights of home.

A blurry view of my reading nook.  I had just gotten up from it after a wee snooze.

All in all a pretty quiet Christmas.  We had a few gifts, since we had gotten each other things all year that we really wanted, we only had small things for Christmas.  The best gift was being together, being with our church family, and having tomorrow to look forward to.  Our good friends will join us for the Feast of the Festive Leftovers.  It will be EPIC!! 

Topping it all off was a nice greeting from a special Twitter friend, and lots of other nice tweets and messages from far flung friends.  We love you all and are so glad we were able to share a bit of this day with you! 

Christmas Eve Ruminations

I'm awake!  Got a late start because I finally go to sleep after 2 when the pie finally got cool enough to go into the refrigerator. 
I've gotta make a list of what I need to get done.
Gotta make a list for Matt who is going out to get last minute stuff.
Little patters of squirrel feet on my roof make me smile in the middle of everything.  I'll go out and refill the feeders.  Merry Christmas, Squirrely Whirly, and birdies.

Almost 4 pm.  Chores done, presents wrapped, still some cooking to do.  We'll eat our first feast this evening, then nibble tomorrow, and on Friday, have the Feast of the Festive Leftovers with our good friends.  (There may be a few things made fresh for the "leftovers" feast.  All depends on how things go...)

Joys of the day:  A dog joyfully playing ball with his human as I passed by on my walk.  The neighbor dogs who stop barking and wag their tails as soon as I say hi and tell them how pretty and what good doggies they are.

Dinner eaten and almost all cleaned up. Soup was excellent, beef was good, beans need a little work... but they'll be OK before the Feast of the Festive Leftovers!

A tweet out of the blue yesterday really made my day!  Nice to be remembered, and a very nice thing so close to Christmas.  Still smiling.

Time now to recoup a little before getting ready and heading for church.  This late service makes for a long day for us, but we'd be up late anyway...

The service seemed  longer than usual, and boy, did we sing a LOT of carols!  Only three anthems, but LOTS of carols!  And they let us have lit candles in the loft for the end of "Silent Night".  They're either brave or crazy. 

Sermon was called "The Light Must Change Us".  About how now that the Light of the World has come to us, we should live more like we've seen that light.  Share that light by our deeds, not by preaching and trying to convert people, but by touching people's lives and hearts the way Jesus did.  It was a good sermon. 
And so, to bed.  A long day, since I stayed up so late last night. It is almost as late now.  Christmas Eve is always a bit this way.  Now that I've had some of each kind of pie (both came out well, yay!)  and some hot chocolate, time to wash up and clean my teeth and head for zzzzzzz.

The light of love does change us. It lightens and warms all those upon whom it shines.  May the Light of  Love shine in our hearts and into the lives of those we encounter, may we all be changed for the better, made more loving, by that light. 
Peace to you, and Merry Christmas!!

Poetry Happens

In The Dead of Winter
By C.K. Armistead
December 21, 2014

Even in the dead of winter
There is warmth
In the smile of a friend,
The hug of a loved one,
The laughter of children.

Even in the dark of despair
There is light.
Prayers heard and answered,
A kind word when needed,
A smile from a stranger.

Even on the longest night,
There is hope
Of dawn's coming
Of the return of warmth,
The return of light.

Even on the coldest day,
There is the reminder
That we are each other's warmth
We are each other's hope,
We are each other's light.



Carried On The Wind
By C.K. Armistead
December 23, 2014

Today as I was walking
The wind was strong and cold
And sounded like the talking
Of the wise ones of old.
Telling tales of mystery
Tales of wonder and joy
Tales we know of history
Of the fate of a special baby boy.
And also on that insistent wind
I heard the old songs so sweet
Sung low and soft from around the bend
Their glad tidings to repeat.
And upon the wind was borne
The scent of woodsmoke and memory
Of places and faces that make you warm
In spite of the world's harsh harmony.
Then the wind made my mouth water
With scents it carried past me
Of sugar, flour and butter
Becoming cookies and candy.
Tomorrow night the wind will bring
The sound of many bells a ringing
And my voice among thousands will sing
Songs of hope and joy fit for a King.
So today, as I was wandering
I was thankful for the wind's wild voice
That set me to pondering
The many reasons we have to rejoice.


That's about all the poetry I've got right now.  Time now to bake the pies.  Time to put some flour, sugar, butter, eggs and other good things to work becoming Christmas treats to share with friends.  May you all have a joyful and beautiful Christmas, whether you celebrate or not, you are wished a day of love and joy. 

The Last Advent Candle Is Lit - On The First Day Of Winter

The shortest day, the longest night of the year, perhaps the coldest where you may be, perhaps the opposite in all regards if you live in the Southern Hemisphere.

Here, this day is dark, dreary, and COLD.  The news abroad in the world isn't much brighter.  In fact, a lot of it is worse.  There is death from disease, poverty, and murder, there is hatred, there is war.  No world for a child to be born into.
Arguably, it was the same more than two thousand years ago, when the Child some of us celebrate came into this world.  That was no time for a child to be born.  The land he was born into was under the rule of Imperial Rome.  For the Israelites, it was difficult, dangerous, and offensive to live under the sway of a pagan regime.
This theme is not a new one, in fact, I find it hard to say this in a way that might sound new.  Many have observed that this world is almost NEVER joyful, or at peace, or even safe for everyone.  Perhaps the theme is best remembered from the old carol I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day

You can hear the song and read the lyricsHERE
..."And in despair I bowed my head,
   There is no peace on earth, I said
    For hate is strong, and mocks the song
   Of Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men."

That verse was written in 1867.  (By Longfellow.  No wonder I've always loved it. )  Surely, peace was hard to come by, and strife very strong indeed.  So it is today.  There are wars ongoing in many places, there are horrible diseases ravaging populations, there is hatred and unrest in our very own nation.  Perhaps because we continually lose sight of the meaning behind this season.  Even if we catch up with the "true Spirit of Christmas" during the holiday itself, we lose it along the way. ALL of us.  Even those of us who really try.  We ALL need to try harder, to commit ourselves anew to remembering that Love chose to be born into this world as a tiny baby, in an occupied country, to an  oppressed minority.  That ALL the religious leaders who have ever been  revered in this world have stressed that LOVE is the only really important thing.  Love of God, love of others, the kind of love that shares and helps and believes and hopes.
May the God of Love forgive us, we have tainted that message.  We have killed in the name of religion, used our different beliefs as a license to revile and condemn those who disagree, totally ignored the more difficult call to love our enemies.
How easy it is to hate.  What a lazy way to deal with others.  Never try to see the other side of an issue, never tolerate for a moment the idea that you may be wrong, that maybe GOD would want you to listen and to reserve judgement.  So easy to get caught up in the clamoring of those who would rush to condemnation and revenge.  It is difficult to stand with Love.  Love is hard work.  You may well love someone, but not like them very much some days.  Love is stronger, deeper, and more reliable than mere liking.  How difficult it must have been for that Child, born into such a desolate land and people, to look with love upon those who reviled him because of his faith, his ethnicity.  How much MORE difficult when the ones who were his own people reviled him because he dared to preach love and forgiveness and not revolution.
Those of us who claim to be followers of that Child, followers of Christ, we have a lot of bad behavior to answer for.  We have not listened with our hearts to His call to love.  We have let Him down, let each other down, and let the world down.  We are NOT called to hate, to sit in judgement, to FORCE others to agree with us, we are called to LOVE.  It is the the single most difficult thing I have ever pondered doing.  It is even harder in practice.  Yes, we are forgiven our sins, IF we repent and recognize that we have done wrong, our resolve to do better will be blessed.  He who came and offered Himself for us in love, loves us still.  No matter WHAT we have done, it breaks His heart, I am sure, because He loves us, and WANTS that better world for us.  The world we would have if we ALL lived by the words given us by the leaders of our faiths.  If we live by love.
I do not exempt myself from guilt.  I tend to be self-centered, having lived a lot of my childhood with no playmates to speak of, I did not have to learn much about sharing and cooperation until I started school.  I am the absolute WORST at thinking of others first, of reacting immediately with love.  I do try, I remind myself, I pray for help, but I still fall FAR short.  I am still far too judgmental, even if only in my own head.  (Our thoughts can and do affect our actions, so ...)
I can only promise that I am TRYING to change.  Every single day.  For those of you who interact regularly with me, if I have hurt you, failed you, otherwise let you down, I am sorry.  I do love you, I care for you, and I don't WANT to hurt you.  (Especially my most long-suffering and loving spouse, who loves me in spite of my many, many faults.)  My gift to you at this season, and every day of every year is that I will do my utmost to learn to react first from LOVE instead of selfishness.
If all of us try that, maybe, just maybe, the world will be a brighter place.

As for the devastating news that's been circulating lately, of killings and hate, well, it is nothing new.  Those of us who were here in Oklahoma City in 1995 can tell you that.  Our church was damaged in that act of violence, and that Christmas (and the next) we were stuck worshiping in the parish hall.  I wrote a poem about it.  I'd like to share it again, if you'll indulge me:

Christmas Eve
By Carolyn Kay Armistead, 1996

The scent of pine needles, incense, and candlewax fill the air.
There is much confusion about the processional, and just who goes where.
But the night is full of magic, wonder and joy
As our Christian family prepares once again to welcome the baby boy.

The baby boy who came into a world of uncertainty and pain,
Who understands how we feel, being in Dean Willey Hall again,
And not in our beautiful Cathedral, with its comfort and sacredness.
He knows how it feels to deal with hatred's harmful effects.

Well He knows our sorrow, our impatience and our pain
And yet He makes us glad to be together, even if in the Hall again.
For He was not born in a fancy palace, or a hospital clean and grand;
But in a lowly stable, with cows, sheep and shepherds close to hand.

If He could be content with a birthplace so quiet and humble;
Who are we to be unhappy with our lot and to grumble?
After all, we are safe and still together, and together we still can sing
The same joyful song of angels, and isn't that the most important thing?


Yes, we still had each other, and that was indeed the most beautiful and important thing.  I see many of those same faces in the choir and the congregation this year, and I am so very glad to see them.  These are my fellow travelers on this road of faith, this difficult journey of trying to live up to the gift of love we have been given.  It wasn't easy then, and it still isn't.

Yes, there is a LOT wrong with this world, there is a lot of hatred and fear.  There is also Love.  I have found those who love almost everywhere I go, including the Internet and social media.  Yes, there are sour and negative and hateful people just about everywhere, but if you look, there's an awful lot of loving and kind ones, too.  Let that give you hope this season, and remember, BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.  If YOU don't react with love, how will love grow?
Back to that Christmas carol.  The next to the last verse says this all so much more succinctly.
"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep.
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."

(Down, feminists; "men" was an accepted abbreviation for "human". I believe largely because the Greek Anthropos was translated as "man" instead of "human", or "mankind". )

On this longest night of the year, on this very cold day, when the darkness seems so ready to crush us and put us all in the cold, let us light the fourth candle of Advent, the candle of Peace.
To quote an old TV show I happen to be very fond of, let us remember that darkness is merely the absence of light, and all winters end!

Let us resolve to try and BE the light!
LOVE to you and PEACE!

The Advent Wreath 

There's A Crack In Everything...

A friend posted the quote from Leonard Cohen this morning.  "Ring the bells that still will ring, forget your perfect offering.  There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

It is one of my very favorites.  It spoke to me especially right after our dog Bear died.  It broke my heart.  He was such a sweet boy, and had fought through so much in his 13 years on this earth, and I STILL miss him.

Today, though, it fit with my ruminations about music.
There is a true feast of music available to us today.  You can search out and find something beautiful to just about any taste.  My own musical horizons have been expanded by interactions with friends sharing their favorites online.  To think I might not have found Post Modern Jukebox, or Pink Martini; that would have been tragic!

Where the quote comes in is in my own pondering over the recital I will sing in on Sunday.  It is the holiday recital given by the voice students of Karen Smith-Pearson.  We range in age and skill level all up AND down the spectrum.  There are always mistakes.  The mistakes aren't a problem.  They are beautiful reminders that we are present in a REAL moment, hearing music made LIVE, by people who sing because they LOVE it.  When you are the one making the mistakes, though, they feel awful.  I especially feel a burden, because I SHOULD be able to give a near-perfect performance.  I've been at this a LONG time now.  As always in my life though, I just don't have the time or patience with myself to practice as much as I really NEED to.  I will practice, I run over the runs in my head, my subconscious chews on the piece constantly.  I even hear it in my DREAMS!
The piece I will do my best not to mutilate on Sunday evening is "Rejoice Greatly, O Daughter Of Zion" by Handel.  (From The Messiah).
My worries aside, the recital will be wonderful.  In this world, we tend to be far too concerned about "perfection" and not nearly concerned enough about the beauty of spontaneous humanity.  Music is an expression of the soul, it is not always going to be perfect, especially not if performed with true feeling.  Emotions are an important part of humanity, and are reflected in our music.  Voices are as individual as we are, there should be NO SUCH THING as Autotune.  It is a lie.  Live performance, out in the open, exposed, on your own with just the piano, that is a scary, scary place to be if you are not the world's most confident singer.  (And I most assuredly am NOT.)  I would wager there are some pop sensations out there today who would not do so well in that environment as even our most timid young singer.  When you sing like we do at this recital, you are putting yourself out there, warts, flat notes, forgotten lyrics and all for others to hear.  In THIS crowd of fellow students, chances are that the more experienced students who sing in the same voice part have done your piece themselves.  They know it intimately.  They will KNOW when you screw up.
Those who hide behind Autotune and studio fixes would not like this environment.  You have to be true, you have to be human, and you have to count on the charity of your fellow humans when you step up to sing at one of our recitals.

Truth is important in this life.  It isn't always pretty, sometimes it's painful, but it is the only thing that will stand in the end.  It has taken me a long time to figure this out, but I am now content to be who I am, to stand up and sing because I LOVE the music, and I want to share it.  I also learned that when you DO step out in sincerity and truth, people respond well for the most part.  They honor it, because sincerity is a beautiful thing.  Truthfulness is difficult; it leaves you vulnerable.  Learning to be vulnerable when you have spent a whole lifetime trying to protect yourself is very hard.  A long,  slow process.  This has been happening for me over the last few years.  Friends have noticed.  I am more willing to speak up, more open and present in conversation, more willing to forgive others their faults because I have learned that others will forgive me mine. I do not have to be perfect.  I just have to be myself.

There are people out there who hide their truth, and lie about themselves constantly.  How much they must be hurting to live like that.  Perhaps they have tried showing their real selves before, and have been badly hurt.  We humans are not always so kind to one another.  I know, from hiding, not really lying, just not sharing, who I am how isolating and how difficult life is under those circumstances.  You miss SO much, you miss the joy to be found in sharing with others.  It's easier to focus on others when they sense you are sincere, and they in turn are relaxed and sharing with you.

One of the things I loved most about Easy Street: The Hard Way, Ron Perlman's memoir, is that he tells it completely in his own voice, no trying to sound like someone he's not, no hiding behind a ghost writer, he puts it all out there.
 A favorite quote from his book:  "What's the point in having a hero in name only?  What good is it to admire someone and not be willing to emulate them and to try to live up to the qualities that made them inspirational to you in the first place? They stood for things that were noble, spoke about the human condition.  What good is it to complain about cowardice or the lack of backbone or resolve that you see in others if you're going to do the same things? Whenever I catch myself being hypocritical I chastise myself, have trouble sleeping at night."

This challenged me to be more true to myself, to live more fully into the faith I profess, to stop hiding and start living.  Some may say that I am just being a "fangirl", but Mr. Perlman seems more like one of my siblings to me.  I have met the man, however briefly, and I know he is the genuine article.  He puts himself out there, flaws and all, and ya know what? It makes him loveable.  He makes you feel at ease, because he isn't pretending.  He genuinely appreciates his fans.

I guess the point of all these ruminations is this:  It takes guts to really be ourselves, to step out and do the things we want to do, to stand up for what we really believe. I was timid and content to lurk in the shadows, afraid to let my flaws be seen for so many years, it has taken a lot of work to finally really join the rest of the world.
It  takes courage to stand up in front of a bunch of people and sing.  I have finally found that courage. It is also important to cherish those flubs, goofs and flaws that make a live performance REAL.  They let you know you are HERE, living this moment, this isn't a creation made by a machine.  This is REAL.  This is HUMAN.

It's Already Time For The THIRD Advent Candle To Be Lit!

This week we light the pink candle, the third candle.  Pink, or more properly rose, because this is the week we rejoice and celebrate with joy the coming of the savior.

The liturgy will be a little different, we will of course light the different colored candle, we will be almost ready to move to full-tilt celebration mode that comes on Christmas Eve. (Next Sunday is still a time of solemn preparation, though.) 
This reminds me that though the Christmas tree is up and decorated, I still have LOTS to do before Christmas Eve arrives.  There is still the small matter of unfinished and unsent Christmas cards, cookies to be made.  (Only a few, we can't eat too many, and most of our friends are in similar circumstances!) 

The tree went up today, as any of my Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram friends know.  I shared a lot of pictures.  Meeting all  my ornaments again is always fun and full of memories.  I also think I felt my Pop hanging around telling me where the bare spots were.  We decorated many Christmas trees together over the years.  I always miss him at Christmas.  He was my Pop, I was his Baby Girl, and he spoiled me.  At Christmas he seemed to approve of my singing because I did it at church.  He always discouraged the serious pursuit of music or writing, the two things I enjoyed most, because they weren't practical. ( I sometimes wondered if it was because he thought I wasn't very good.) 
He loved Christmas more than any other adult I've ever met except for my Uncle Dick, his older brother.  They both got almost childlike at Christmas time.  It was good to see them share happy memories, because they had so many that weren't so happy.  Pop was a teen  during the Depression.  Even his relatively well-off Grandfather, who was a physician, was for the most part paid in farm produce by his patients during those years.  At least they had enough food...

On another subject, I have found new music to listen to, not Holiday music, but many renditions of Burns' songs, which I love.  The artist is Dougie MacLean. I found him because my friend Gillian mentioned him to me on Facebook.  Gorgeous stuff.  Relaxing.  Here's a link to Ae Fond Kiss  It's my favorite of Burns' songs.  This is a lovely rendition.  Thanks, Gill! ;-)

My sister has taken to buying me the "Beauty of Birds" ornaments that I collect each year.  She is carrying on the fine tradition all of them started when I was little.  She spoils me.  Still.  Even though we are both grown-ups now.  Now, I have several more special memories of trips to Mom's to help Susie with the yard work that I bring out and polish as I hang the ornaments on the tree.

This year's Beauty of Birds Ornament

 

 

 

Time now for me to try to get some rest so I can do all that needs to be done in preparation for Christmas.  This week is the week to remember that amid all the rush and bustle, we are supposed to be happy, to live with joy, because the Gift of Love is being born into the world!  May that Love be in our hearts, may it shine in our smiles, and show in our actions all year long. 
As Bing sang "It's not the things you do at Christmas time, but the Christmas things you do the whole year through."

This year's tree.

As The Second Week of Advent Begins

 I STILL haven't started on the Christmas Cards, and I have not done any more decorating.  This year, things feel like they are really getting away from me.  There are no lists made, so I am adrift.
Yesterday, I did a bit more decorating.   The Christmas cards are still sitting untouched on the corner of my desk.  There are songs I should rehearse, for a recital is coming.  I should think about the few gifts I intend to buy, and the tree still needs to go up.
There has been a bit of bah, humbug! about our house this year.   We do not have children,  so there's no one counting on us to do the holidays up big.  However, we DO have our small traditions,  and I will likely put up the tree, we will have a good dinner on Christmas Eve, probably smoked brisket this year, and we will go sing at church as usual.

I have been trying new things lately.  I've found a stylus that actually works with the Android phone and both tablets.  Since it makes typing on the phone easier,  I am using it to test the mobile Blogger app for this post.  I can add photos directly from the phone this way, I hope.
I have added photos of the Christmas lights, the decorations up in the house so far, (including Baby Jesus hiding out in the shot glass in the drawer of the liquor cabinet so we don't lose him before Christmas Eve.)  There's also a shot of tonight's sunset with pretty contrails through the clouds, and a picture of these styluses . (Styli?)

That's about all I got tonight.  More as the season progresses.

Sunset from the library parking lot this evening.  Lovely bright contrails.

The Christmas lights this year.

Decorations here

Decorations there,

Decorations on the mantle,

Manger on the piano, awaiting Baby Jesus

Baby Jesus waiting safely in the liquor cabinet until Christmas Eve

The beautiful, useful styli. Also ballpoint pens.

So, now that I have saved what I typed on the phone, I had to come back to the desktop interface to finish it up properly for posting.  I could post short bits from the phone, with maybe one picture, but for my usual posts, the desktop with my trusty keyboard and more powerful text editor are going to be my tools of choice. 

As for the Christmas decorations and our unusual seasonal ennui, I guess I'll just have to work on it!  

 

Found Poems Quickly Posted

Vanity
By C.K. Armistead
December 2014

Vanity
Suffering for fashion
Yet most of the time
There is no pain
And I feel so good
About myself
The extra time
And slight pain
Become very much worth it.

Exercise
Working hard
Sweating
Challenging my body
Pulls the excess pounds off
Makes me stronger
Helps my singing
Makes me feel good
AND look good.


Passing Time
By C.K. Armistead

Once, time seemed endless
So many, many years
Spread out before me.
Time enough to dream
And make dreams come true.
Now, days seem far too shrot
TIme has collapsed
Dreams are a luxury
The ones realized
A tremendous gift.
So many things still to do
Books to read,
Poems to write,
Places to explore,
People to meet.
I fear my idle nature
Has left me
With too little time
And too few resources
To get it all done...

A Poem That Begged to Be Written

By C.K Armistead 12/4/2014

What year is it?
And how is it that
Young black men still die
For no good reason
At the hands of those
Whose authority
We are supposed to trust?
Why is it that no one
Is brought to account
For breaking that trust?
Is this the Old South,
The age of Jim Crow
Come again to mock
Our assertions of Liberty
And Justice for ALL?
It cannot be so.
Laws abolished that
Abomination.
And yet...
The shame that should be
Behind us
Appears to face us again.
The ugliness of hate
Dares show itself
Among us.
Old wounds ripped open
And salt rubbed on them.
What of those like
Rosa Parks, Dr. King,
President Kennedy,
Robert Kennedy,
And many others
Who fought the injustice
And brought the changes
We had seen?
Were their sacrifices,
Their very lives,
In vain?
Shouldn't Justice now
Be something ALL
Can count on?
Shouldn't EVERYONE
Be free
To walk about without
Fear?
For if ANY are denied Justice,
If ANY are treated
With disdain and
Subjected to such
Terrors
We ALL are.
NONE are safe.
And those of us who still dare
To dream of this land
As free and fair
Weep for that dream
Still deferred.

Of Books, Birthday Cards, Backaches, and Advent

I am almost done with the cataloging of the physical books I own.  In fact, before I post this tonight, I will have finished the cookbooks.  (I'm taking a break, see "Backaches" mentioned above.) 
There are over 900 books so far.  I am not cataloging the books in Matt's office.  That's HIS job, if he wants to do it.  There are almost 300 books on my Nook reader, and I have no idea which ones may already be in the database because I put them in Goodreads when I read them.  Just going to have to type those ISBNs in and see what I get.

I have an AWFUL lot of books about writing.  I have a lot of books on prayer, too.  Of course, I have a LOT of music books, too.  The cookbook collection trumps them all, though.  I have two bookcases in the dining room full of cookbooks.  I also have several cookbooks on my Nook.  The ones on the Nook are nice because you can keyword search the contents.  EASY to find a recipe.  Downside is, gotta find a way to protect the device while you use it in the kitchen.  Not usually too big a deal.  If I know it's going to be a situation where flour will be flying, or there may be splatters, I put the Nook on the far side of the peninsula, or on the dining table, and I walk over and write down the next few steps so as to avoid damage.

Back from finishing the cookbooks.  Database book count now at 1,013.  That is all of the physical books, plus a few digital ones.  Now for the Birthday Cards. 

I make the cards for the staff birthdays at the library where I work.  My Hallmark Card Software updated today, so along with the cards I feel qualified (ie I know the people well enough) to make custom, I have new prefab cards to choose from.  It is refreshing to be able to access new content.  Sometimes I just can't come up with a good custom card, even when I know the person pretty well.  Can't make the idea work, usually.  I try to touch on their hobbies or favorite entertainers when I make cards. I'll be back when I finish the cards for December birthdays, I HOPE!

I made it!  It isn't even midnight yet! Yay!  All the December birthday cards are done. Including a couple that I apparently didn't  need to make for a couple of our police officers who used to work security for us.  Hmm.  Oh, well, I can still have people sign the one card and I'll mail it to the police station. 

My back feels a lot better now that I'm no longer crawling around on the floor pulling books off bottom shelves, scanning them, and putting them back.  My left leg hurts, but that's the way I've been sitting here. 

It is officially Advent.  The season of preparation for Christmas in the more liturgical Christian traditions.  (Catholic, Episcopalian, some Lutheran, some Methodist, and some Presbyterian congregations.)  At  our house, it means that Christmas decorations trickle in slowly.  Today, I put the December quilt square on the door in the entry hall.  It was made by my Mom and is hand quilted.  It's a wreath, very seasonal.  Tomorrow, the jingly bells that go on the doorknobs may show up, and maybe some stuffed animals.  I like to prepare carefully for Christmas, not rush it.  We don't do it up really big anymore, but we have friends and special food, and we put up the tree eventually.  No kids in our house, so it's easier to be more meditative about it.
The one thing that may panic me is, I haven't done Christmas cards yet!  Gotta get on that, I used to always do them the day after Thanksgiving, but this year, I had The Book Cataloging Project. 

The hour grows late, it's cold in here, and I am more than tired. 
If you stuck with me this far, I thank you.

Thankful All The Time

We set aside one day of the year to gorge ourselves on rich food and remember how thankful we are for said food, and football, and family.  (In some cases, not the family, so much.)
Yet, wouldn't it make life more pleasant all around if we were thankful every day for something in our lives?  How about coffee?  I could see a whole bunch of hands go up in the air if I asked on a Monday morning, "Who's thankful for coffee?"  The fact that we can brew or buy a cup of nice, hot, caffeinated goodness gets many of us through the very tough prospect of facing the new day. (I mean, let's face it, some of us are night owls, and morning, especially EARLY morning, just sounds like a bad idea.  Especially if it involves leaving bed and having to think clearly.)

How many of us stop to think how very fortunate we are in this country that MOST of us can get up and brew that coffee, and have something to eat with it?  There are plenty who can't, even in this country.  Which is awful, and something that we need to work on.  (And think about those who don't even have a bed to sleep in, or a roof overhead.  On the whole, as a society, we are pretty spoiled.)

What about Wi-Fi? Or cell phone service for your smart phone?  Ever think about how many people can't afford that?  It isn't cheap.  Most of us accept the expense because it is so difficult today to conduct life without the smart phone or at the least, the computer with a high-speed Internet connection.  Sure, there are cheap, pay as you go plans available, but most people who are financially strapped can't even justify that expense.  I can see an awful lot of hands go up, my own included, if somebody asked "Who'd be lost without their smart phone?"
In the first place, I am thankful to be alive in the time when this technology is ubiquitous and useful.  In my youth, if we had told people that these devices and services would exist, they would have sent us off for mental evaluation.  They would have told us we were dreaming.  (They should have known better than to tell Star Trek fans something couldn't be done.  We now have communicators, we almost have medical scanners, can phasers and warp drive be far behind? Trek fans will always take up a challenge!)
In the second place, using the technology helps keep my mind sharp.  I need to be able to figure out new things quickly, and having the phone and all its multitudes of apps to master keeps me on my toes!  It has helped at work by making it easier for me to adapt to hardware, software, and procedural changes. 

How many of us take music for granted?  The background of most movies, tv shows, even life itself, as various places we go and people we interact with have music playing in the environment.  Music is a very big deal in my life, and something I give thanks for every single day.  Both making it and listening to it are joys that I cannot live without. 

Of course, everyone (or nearly everyone) says they are thankful for family and friends at Thanksgiving.  Every day, the people who must live with you, put up with your quirks, work with you, look at you, are there.  Nearly every one of them does a good job of living with you, making allowances for your quirks, and working with you.  Some of them even love you.  That's a wonderfully miraculous thing.  It's something I give thanks for constantly.  That my husband is always there, always loving me, that my coworkers actually seem glad to see me when I come in to work, that I have friends who willingly spend time with me, my life is so full and so rich because of them.  It makes me happy to try to give that joy back by appreciating them and being there for them no matter what.  (Though most of them are nowhere near the Prima Donna pain in butt that I am!  I'm the Baby, gotta love me!)

It seems there is a lot to be thankful for.  Perhaps one day to stop and actually acknowledge the fact is a good thing.  I hope it remains that, a day to stop and reflect and give thanks for all the many good things we have in this world.  It is in danger of becoming a day to either shop, or prepare to shop, for yet more stuff that we don't really need.  I am very thankful to live in this country, I believe our system is one of the best, and our history may not be untarnished, but it shows a people who learn, who grow, who change for the better, usually. I am concerned though, by the whole atmosphere we seem to be living in that seeks to divide people, categorize people, encourage people to keep consuming.  Some days I wonder if we have been transported to one of the many dystopian societies that were featured in the science fiction I read as a teen. 
When those moods strike, someone will inevitably post something cool and hopeful, or better yet, some little kid will show up at the library all jazzed to be there, and happy about getting books to read.  Makes my whole day. 
I am thankful for this life.  I do not take it for granted, not any of it.  Some days it's hard to express this. So I hope if others are like I am, that that they actually take advantage of the day set aside to be thankful, and reflect on more than just their overstuffed tummy or what sales they plan to hit.
Happy Thanksgiving.  I am thankful to you for reading.

Some Thoughts On Recent Headlines

I think everybody needs a hug today. Those people who rioted in Ferguson are not typical, nor are the police whose us vs them mindset started this whole catastrophe, which was exacerbated by the media pandering to the "if it bleeds, it leads" mentality. This whole business is just sad, sad, sad. Glad Dr. King isn't here to see it. This would disappoint him so.
It makes me that much more grateful for local police who reach for their can of mace or their baton before they reach for their gun, unless they are certain the person facing them is armed. (I've seen them at work, I know. The gun is the last resort with our guys. )
The idiots who seemingly delighted in an excuse to destroy almost drowned out the touching and far wiser plea of the Brown family. Violence and hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that, as Dr. King said. The Brown family is pleading for people to find ways to effect CONSTRUCTIVE change. 
 So sad that we have not traveled further from the days of my early childhood, when people of color finally stood up and said with quiet determination "No more." No more will our young men be hung on trees like grotesque ornaments for no good reason other than that they happened to be the wrong color in the wrong place at the wrong time. No more will we allow ourselves to be shoved to the "back of the bus", or excluded from common facilities,or denied rights that are deemed fundamental to all humans.

We have made some            progress, yes, but there is still SO far to go. We need to learn to see each other as humans first, inconsequential differences of exterior appearance becoming just that. 
It is not the guilt of only one group. We ALL need to stop deciding someone hates us, or we hate them, based solely on appearance. Not every dark face belongs to a hoodlum. Not every light face belongs to a racist who seeks to harm those who are different.
 Again and again we ignore the words of all those leaders we purport to follow. From Jesus to Gandhi to Dr. King, we refuse to love our neighbor as ourselves, to do right even when others do wrong, in fact, most sadly, we don't love ourselves. I think that is the true basis for most of the trouble in this world.

  
For the sake of all of us, I hope we learn.   

Yes, I Am Still Alive...

I'm just busy! 
Found some free book cataloging software that syncs with Goodreads, so I am scanning and cataloging the home library.  Also need to weed a few entries out of the database, because some of the stuff Goodreads got from Amazon is way out of date. Lot of that stuff is not in the collection anymore. Yep.  I'm such a geek that I like to do library stuff with my OWN BOOKS.  (Not enough that I keep track of hundreds of items daily at work by checking them in or out, sorting them, reshelving some of them.  Nope.  Gotta organize the chaos at home, too.  )

Something I discovered in my in-depth travels through the bookshelves, piles, and double-stacks here is that I do have at least a rudimentary organizational scheme in place.  All the writing and writing reference books are near each other, history and travel and anthropological books are near each other, poetry, grammar, and foreign language aids are also pretty much together. 

The Goodreads app drew in most of my digital collection as well.  I don't know if it sees all the things on my Nook, but it has the Amazon titles, including ebooks, that I have.  Some of the titles on Good reads are things I have on the Nook that I have put on Goodreads manually.  This project is going to involved a lot of dealing with getting databases to play nice together.

Even though it seems like it should be work, this process has allowed me to renew my acquaintance with some old friends, like my Longfellow anthology, the Burns anthology, and the Oxford Book of English Verse, (1250-1918) .  Some of these old friends were finds from the old used book store my sister used to take me to haunt in Santa Monica when I was a teen, and she and my brother in law were living just off of Wilshire in Santa Monica.

I am not even half way through my office, let alone the living room shelves and the cookbooks, and I already have 402 books cataloged. (Admittedly, some of them are artifacts from Goodreads that need to be deleted, but still, that's a LOT of books!)

Is it any wonder I work in a library?  Books are part of my natural habitat! More adventures in cataloging the home collection will be posted as I progress.  I dread the credenza.  It is double stacked, and the drawers are full of books, too.  Sigh.  I shall have to weed as I go, judiciously, of course!

 Still trying to figure out if my whole Nook library can be synced.  Somehow I doubt it.  Will have to enter those manually through Goodreads, most likely.

Wait! It's Not Supposed To Be Winter Yet!!

Early Winter
By C.K. Armistead
Nov 16, 2014

Freezing air that greets
My reluctantly waking feets
I pull them back under the sheets
While the alarm clock uselessly bleats.

Seeking warmth, I hit the shower
Hot water seems to take an hour
Before it gets to its full power
Helping sweeten my mood so sour.

Joints that normally don't pain me
Today rebel and seek to blame me
For the cold that seems to contain me
Making them all inflamed, you see.

Oh, the joy of my cozy nook
To curl up and read a book
A window to help me look
Upon the trees by cold winds shook.

  

Winter Signs on A Fall Afternoon
C.K. Armistead
Nov. 2014

Swirling, falling drifting
Lightly dusting and sifting,
Flakes flying on north winds
Coating shrubs and ground again.

Fluffing, chattering, then still
Sparrows huddled on my windowsill.
Waiting for a decrease in the wind
So they can go after the seeds again.

The singing kettle, the bubbling pot
On the stove, making a lot
Of good things to drink and eat
To take our minds off of snow and sleet.

To keep the cabin fever away,
Time on the elliptical to bob and sway
Also burning as much as I should
Of all that good and hearty food!

So, it isn't even Thanksgiving yet.  It is usually nowhere near this cold here this time of year.  Fall is usually the nicest time weather wise in Oklahoma.  I'm glad they switched from "Global Warming" to "Climate Change", because Climate Change is more descriptive of what happens as the earth has these temperature cycles.  It has happened before.  With or without man, our planet goes through changes.  Oh, we probably make it worse, but it isn't ALL on us.  The geological record upholds that fact.  The problem is, we ARE putting more chemicals, particles, etc into the air than would otherwise be there.  It DOES do nasty things to the planetary environment.  So, we do our little part to help curtail some of it.  Walk to the store instead of drive if I can, recycle everything I can. (But I have to drive to the recycling center.  That kind of rankles...)
My plans for today include making some more home made applesauce, and a batch of shortbread.  I also want to try to make some little meat pies with the egg roll wraps we have left.  (Not as fattening as pasties, but maybe ALMOST as good.  We'll see...)  The laundry is almost all done, including the towels.  I need to make out a grocery list and pay some bills.  Also praying for the weather to not leave us with a real mess on the roads in the morning.  (I'd like to do my shopping and get it all put away before I have to leave for Voice.)

Looks as though the roads will be iffy for quite a bit of tomorrow.  The schools are going to be closed.  (Oh, joy.)  May have to shop Tues before work.

Just feel so run down and tired and vaguely irritable during this weather.  Never fails to show up when I have other stuff to do! 

Here's the dessert I made tonight:

So, now that I've put my big, cozy sweater on, and had a bowl of this, I'm full and I'm SLEEPY!  Catch you later!

Friends Out Of The Ether

A couple of weeks ago
, I went to a Halloween party.  It was also a "club" meeting of sorts.  I got to meet two more of my online friends in person, and reconnect with two others.  That's the five of us in that picture, with me in the middle, evidently discovering something in Easy Street (the Hard Way) that I missed the first time.
Yes, we are some of the #Perlgirls.  We are all fans of Ron Perlman, and most of us have met him.  The fact that we have other interests in common, and that we have fun whenever we get together made this a very interesting weekend.

So much of social media is dismissed as being phony or shallow.  Well, some of it may well be, but sometimes you find real and wonderful friends there.  I have.  These ladies are dear to me, we've had long online chats, and now, in person chats.  We've laughed together, and pulled each other through sad times, too.  All because we found each other due to our mutual affection for a certain craggy faced actor with a warm, loving heart.

The trip was fun, but also a bit stressful.  My husband and I had a six hour drive to Austin for the party, and I-35 is VERY much under construction in many places along the way.  I am thankful my husband is such a good sport, and such a good driver  After all, these weren't HIS friends we were going to meet. He did enjoy himself though, and both of us met some really fun and interesting people at that party.

We have decided that while we think Austin is a beautiful city, we also find it to be one of the most confusing places we've ever been.  With all the road construction going on, it is VERY easy to get lost.  (At least for us.) The sad saga of us ending up at the wrong hotel the first time, and TWO long, frustrating treks through rush hour and construction congestion is best left at that.  It was probably my fault.  I probably touched the wrong address selection on Google Maps when offered the options. Everyone we met in Austin was friendly and pleasant, and even the crowds we encountered seemed good natured and easy going.

We had a nice trip home, once we got clear of the last big construction zone.  We made our traditional stop at the Davis CTS so we could buy some more Bedree chocolate.  (Also,  that must be the nicest, cleanest, friendliest travel center on all of I-35.)  Anytime we travel that far south on I-35, the CTS is a mandatory stop! As always, the familiar sights near home are always welcome after being away.  Perhaps it is because I hadn't been back home all that long after my last trip away before going on this one.
Most remarkable thing about my trip was that I traveled to another state for a whole week earlier this month with just my small carry-on bag and my purse.  For this trip, because it involved a costume party, I had my small carryon, my makeup case, a garment bag, my laptop bag, and two shopping bags.  When I have to get all dolled up, I need LOTS of backup! (Well, I AM over 50, and spackle, I mean makeup, takes up a lot of space.) Didn't need any makeup to go do yard work at my Mom's.

I've been letting this post marinate for awhile.  I knew I wasn't quite finished, that there was more I had to process and percolate before I could finish it. 
One big result of the preparation and completion of the costume for this trip is that I have started caring about my appearance again.  I had been being lazy, and truthfully, rather depressed about my aging self until this costume caused me to work with makeup again.  I have to make the time to put it on, and I have to take better care of my skin, but those are things I used to do all the time, I just gave up awhile back. 
Since meeting these ladies, and especially since reading Ron's book Easy Street (the Hard Way) , I have been conscious of all the things I stopped doing, and examining the REAL reason I stopped.  I didn't stop using makeup because I really decided I looked better without it, I stopped because I got lazy.  I decided it didn't MATTER how I looked, I didn't matter that much, nobody looked at me.  Did not even realize I had been thinking that way until reading Easy Street made me look at how I've been dealing with life. (Or rather NOT dealing with it.)  Since I've started this process, I've been more careful about choosing the things I do or don't do.  I have to clean out more stuff around here as part of all that.  Matt and I both need to cull out the junk that is cluttering up our lives (and our house!) 

I find that caring about my appearance gives me more confidence, I feel more capable.  I know it doesn't really change anything, but the psychological boost is real.  Working out and taking care of my body has been making big changes in how I feel about myself for more than a year now.  I have managed to lose and keep off about 25 pounds.  I lost more than 30, some crept back on, and I am in the process of losing it and keeping it off.  But this is the longest I have sustained a weight loss ever. 
I am stronger, have more stamina, can sing better (when my sinuses cooperate!) and I look better than I have in a long time!  I have less energy on the days I don't exercise, and I find it harder to fall asleep on those days, for some reason.

Last week some dear friends told me they'd seen a change in me over the last few years, especially since I started doing really well with the voice lessons.  Perhaps the fact that I had found something I could stick with, something I felt real joy doing, gave me more confidence.  I don't know.  Always before in my life, there would be something I would prepare for, and try to do, and fail at.  Singing became a source of hard work that paid off.  It is spilling over into other parts of my life now.  I am taking on more challenges at work, I am writing more, too.  Also, even five years ago, I probably wouldn't have made the trip to Dallas to meet Ron, let alone this trip to Austin to meet the other girls.  There just seems to be more of a willingness to do things and try things than I've ever had before.  I had become very risk-averse, and while I still wouldn't want to make any BIG changes, I at least have the courage to take the small steps.  I was frozen before.

So, thank you to Karen Smith-Pearson, my voice coach, for helping me find out that I DO have a voice, and that it is worth hearing.  Thanks to my long suffering husband Matthew, who has put up with all my fears, trepidations, and enthusiasms for more than 30 years now.  Thanks to the rest of the #Perlgirls, especially Mary, Kelly, Jana, Fi, and Mallory for helping me break out of my shell a bit. 
Thanks to the man himself, too.  The light you shed on this world reaches farther than you think, Mr. Perlman! 

The Owl Woman