First World Problem Leads to Real World Blessing

Less than halfway through the walk, the music app on  the phone died, and left me with no tunes to motivate my exercise.
No real problem, though, because I had a whole world around me to listen to.
The quiet of a suburban neighborhood in the midmorning is surprising.
There were subtle sounds all around, though.
Small planes droning their way across the unbelievably blue sky,
Blue jays hashing out a territorial dispute on the next block,
A light breeze whispering through the trees,
The subtle crackle of dry leaves on the sidewalk,
The rhythmic beat of my own footsteps on the pavement.
Sometimes, the hum of an air conditioning unit as the early Autumn sun is very warm,
As I get nearer the main road, a bit more traffic noise,
Tires humming on pavement, bodywork rattling over the railroad crossing,
In the distance, a train horn.
The lonely, twangy song of a lone cicada, who somehow overslept the end of the season,
The buzz of the locusts as they hop-fly out of my path,
Quiet cricket chirps from the deep shade under a nearby stand of trees,
Whirring of dragonfly wings as one swoops by me,
Sometimes a far-off , muted roar of a jet flying far, far overhead.
The occasional weed trimmer and/or lawnmower may be heard as well,
And one neighbor is power-washing his house.
Gotta get the dusty grime of the Oklahoma summer off before winter hits!
Greetings from the neighborhood dogs as I pass.  Usually friendly barks,
Sometimes territorial assertions, at least until I tell them they are good dogs, doing a dog's work well.
Then, the greetings are friendly, tails wag behind their fences.
Machine noises and rattles and bangs behind the supermarket, deliveries made, and garbage taken out.
Back on the noisy main road, and headed toward home, the noontime traffic of high school students heading toward the fast food places for lunch, another train warning of its approach.
Back to my own front porch and the creaky squeaky storm door, and the satisfying snick of the key in the well-oiled lock.
Now I seek the comfort of the ceiling fan in the dining room, and put away all my "walk support equipment".
I come in here, do some free weight exercises, stretch, and get this machine going.
And then I wrote this.
Now I have to go wash the grime of exercise both physical and mental off myself so I can continue with the day's work.
All this I actually paid attention to
Because my favorite distraction was silenced.

Lingerie Fashion Update - (Skip this one guys, unless your lady might be interested...)

I have finally found a manufacturer of brassieres that makes high-quality, properly-fitting, and SEXY bras for women MY SIZE!!  This has been a challenge most of my adult life because I am fairly small around the torso, but have LARGE breasts.  Precious few stores carry size (US sizing) 34 G.  I have to special order.  Usually, this means settling for a "minimizer" that is really a 34DDD, but since the cups are larger, it works.  Not so anymore.  Now I have found Panache!
See their wonderful website HERE

Not only can I get a 34G, but I can get a SEXY one!

Also, the first and ONLY sports bra I have ever found that really works!

(And doesn't cause uniboob.)

Here are some pictures of the styles I have tried so far:

The sports bra.  I have one like this and one that's coral. (I don't know when Safety Orange became known as coral, but...)

This is the "Hepburn" bra.  Gorgeous, and comfy.

This one is called "Maddie"

This one is called "Juna"

This is the "Loretta" style

This one is known as "Neve"

I really like the Neve and the Loretta styles.  I ordered one more of each of those.  The Maddie and Juna are two I just got, and haven't worn much yet. 

My husband really gets the credit for finding Panache for me.  He had heard me bewailing the fact that I have NEVER been able to find a sports bra that looks good and feels good, AND reduces bounce.  He started researching bras with lots of purchasers and lots of good reviews.  He found Panache.  If you peruse the website, you will see that they make brassieres in a LOT of sizes, not JUST for "full figure" and not just for charter members of the "itty bitty titty committee."
I always envied my smaller friends, because there are SO many cute bras out there in the smaller sizes.  I have never before found cute ones in MY size. 

I have purchased all of my Panache bras through Amazon, and DO take heed of the sizing chart that is available.  Panache bras are made in UK sizing, and it is a bit different from US sizing.  When I order Panache, I get a 34 F, because in the UK, 34 G is a larger size than it is in the US. When in doubt, go get yourself professionally measured.  You can have this done at any large department store like Nordstrom, or Dillards.  That's how I found out I really needed a larger cup size, even though my band size was correct.  I did find a nice strapless that I needed for a particular dress at Dillards, but the rest of what was available in my size was less than inspiring.

If you are a woman who has difficulty finding a bra you love in the size you need, give Panache a try.  If you are a guy who knows a lady who complains about never finding a bra she really likes, tell her to try Panache.  I have been amazed at the quality, the comfort, the fit, and how great I look wearing them!

The Relativity of Aging

I may be getting older, but I certainly don't feel OLD.  I feel better about myself now than I ever have, I think.

I have lost a lot of weight over the last two years, I've started paying more attention to what I wear, and not feeling so constrained about what is and isn't appropriate for my "age" as I used to.  I go with what looks good.  If it looks tasteful and not tacky, it's a go.  If it's a snugger fit, or a slinkier fabric than I might have felt comfortable in before, once again, if it looks  right, I get it.

For so long, I thought I was too chunky, too busty, too old, too conservative to wear the things that deep down, I really wanted to wear.  Skinny cut jeans (with stretch, I'm no masochist, not even for the sake of looking good), low cut tops, metallic fabrics (within reason), dresses that are form-fitting, bras with less than 4 rows of hooks.  I have found that I can indeed wear these things, and they look fine.  I don't look ridiculous, and I am comfortable.

I've been playing with nail polish again, too.  Not only looks cool, but it protects my nails from all the slams and scrapes of daily life.  Makes it less likely that I'll have raggedy cuticles, too.

I am also letting all the dye grow out of my hair.  So far, it looks pretty good.  Next cut will tell more about how much gray there really is.  I have decided to just own the fact that I have gray hair, and live with it, at least for awhile.  If it looks like I think it will, it should be fine.

This shows both my style and my haircolor.

The best thing that comes with age is that sense of being comfortable, confident, even powerful in your own skin.  I know that I have more confidence in myself today than I had when I was 25.  Today, if a boss dared be so unprofessional as to raise their voice to me, they probably wouldn't like the scolding they'd get in return. (None of my supervisors are that unprofessional. I was remembering one I had in my 20s.  Would not go down that way now. )  3o years lends one wonderful perspective.

This new confidence does flee on occasion.  It is indeed difficult to overcome a lifetime of habitual slumping, hiding, and being meek.  I am trying to remember to walk tall and sit tall, and be proud.

A friend posted this on Facebook recently, and it struck me as something I've been trying to tell myself a lot lately.  I'm DONE hiding.  Time to own how good I look, and ENJOY it!

Learning to be comfortable in my own skin, to be confident, is an ongoing process.  I still have moments of abject panic, as when I have to sing something I am less than prepared to sing in public.  My brain just seems to shut off on such occasions, leaving me certain that I cannot do something that I SHOULD be able to do. Still working on the courage to do things that I might regret not doing in the future.  Chances that should be taken, words that should be spoken, poems that ought to be written.  People that should be hugged, walks that need to be taken, songs that must be sung!
I am still very much a work in progress.  I have let chances go by even just recently that I should have taken.  I have also taken some chances and been very glad I did!
Also resisting the urge to correct the grammar in that graphic I used!  Ha!  Once a teacher...

Music Updates

I've added so much to my music collection since the last update, I don't even wanna try to figure out what's new. 
I'll just share what I'm listening to the most lately.

Tom Waits' Closing Time
I already owned a pretty comprehensive Tom Waits collection, but a couple of online friends recommended that I get this one.  They were right.  Lots of good stuff in here. 

The sound track from Amazon Originals' great new drama Hand Of God.  Not only is the theme song (by Fantastic Negrito) totally awesome, but the rest of the music used on the show is equally good.  A nice backdrop to desk work, and by the way, YOU BETTER GET ON AMAZON PRIME AND WATCH THE SHOW!!! 

Roll Away by Miss Brown To You (Featuring Louise Goldberg and Mary Reynolds)   These two musicians are friends of mine.  Lovely voices, beautiful people, and such uplifting music.  Give 'em a try, the album's on CDBaby and iTunes.  You'll be glad you did!

The Shirley Jones and Jack Cassidy recording of Brigadoon.  I had a piece to learn (The Heather On The Hill) from this one, so I found a good soundtrack recording to listen to.  Not at all Scottish, but entertaining all the same, and the music is pleasant.

This is the EP that includes "An Honest Man" the theme song for Amazon's Hand Of God.  Good song.  Great album, Xavier is also the NPR Tiny Desk Concert winner.  His story is inspiring, his music is bluesy and real.  Lots of soul.  You should give it a listen.  Then you should buy it. 







That's what's on the "most recent" list of my music.  Hope you find something that you enjoy as well.

The Saga Of Our Comic Con Trip

"Happy anniversary," he said, "I bought us tickets to Alamo City Comic Con in San Antonio.  Ron AND Michael will be there, and I know how much you want to meet Michael, and get Ron to sign your book."
He was right, it was the best anniversary gift ever.  I was afraid I put it in jeopardy by falling and hurting my leg, but the leg has healed nicely, and I was good to go for our epic journey.
To get to San Antonio from Moore, Oklahoma, one must drive for a VERY long time if one is not willing to pay for plane tickets.  We were not willing to pay for plane tickets.  We were in the car for about eight hours, plus a couple of pit stops.
The only bad thing that happened was that Matt left his cell phone behind at one stop, and by the time we realized it, someone had taken it.  We suspended the service to the phone, reported it stolen, and the insurance is sending a new one.  None of his accounts have been messed with, he changed all his passwords, and soon as he gets his replacement phone, he'll be in good shape.
We still managed to have a blast at the con.

First and foremost, I got to meet someone I have communicated with on Twitter for more than two years now.  Someone that has reached out in kindness and absolutely made my day with a tweet.  Something just that simple, a small kindness, really, takes just seconds, and it can turn around a person's whole day, which can, in turn, make the day better for everyone they come in contact with.  That's what Michael Ornstein did for me with a short little tweet on a day that was going south rapidly for me.
It had been a hectic morning at our library, and I was getting ready to go out to the Customer Service Desk, and I wasn't in a very positive mood.  I checked my Twitter on my break, and Michael had posted a picture of one of his most recent paintings.  His use of color is amazing.  He paints things that look like they are lit from inside, luminous, gorgeous.  I responded to the post and thanked him for posting it, because I needed to see something beautiful that day.  His reply: "Go look in the mirror." I almost cried.  So very sweet, and just made me remember that bad days will pass, there is beauty inside that we can let out.
I was so glad to meet Michael in person, and finally PROPERLY thank him for that tweet, and give him a big hug.  Not only did he make my day, but by cheering me up, he helped quite a few of our library patrons have a better library visit than they might have.  Easier to smile and be pleasant and helpful when you remember that you carry something beautiful in your heart all the time.  Love.  Letting it out doesn't deplete it, it just makes it better, makes it multiply. It's the truth.  I know.
Michael and I had a couple of nice chats during the con, and he signed one of the prints of his paintings he had for me.  

Yours Truly and Michael Ornstein- Actor, artist, all around great human being. I was wearing my "lucky shirt" one with one of Michael's paintings on it, that I have worn during 3 different tornadoes, and I've made it through unscathed each time.( I figure the shirt couldn't hurt, and neither does the prayer and pleading that goes on while I'm hiding in that closet!)

On Saturday, we finally caught up with my pals Mary and Jana, and we all went to see Ron.  (Perlman, that is.)  Ron looks like a tough guy, he can be a tough guy, I have no doubt, but he's really a big sweetheart.  At least to us.  He loves his fans, and he knows that the three of  us have been in  his corner for a long time.  He always seems genuinely glad to see us, always wants hugs and smooches, and kids around with us.  It always astounds me that he really does know who we are, remembers us, and cares about us.  He's busier than he was a while back, so he doesn't tweet quite as much  as he once did, but he has also reminded me that I am not invisible, even when I sometimes feel like I must be. Never one as dramatic as the tweet from Michael that came at  JUST the right moment, but still.  Just when I figure he's too busy to catch any of our tweets anymore, he'll favorite, or respond with a word or two, letting us know he's keeping tabs on us.
I have lost about 30 pounds over the last 2 1/2 years or so, and just this last year, I've gotten into better shape by walking and working out with weights more.  Ron made it a point to tell me that I look great.  Makes me feel good to know the hard work is noticed.  (Oh, my husband notices, but hey, he sees me every day!)  Ron always looks amazing.  He seems to get better looking every year.  I have told him it isn't fair.

Here's me with Ron, who looks better every time we see him.  My favorite actor, and one hell of a nice guy.

I always enjoy a chance to see my friends Mary and Jana.  There are others in our little fan group  that I have met, and enjoy spending time with, too, but I've seen Mary and Jana the most.  We have history.  We always have fun together, and if we stop giggling, it's probably because we finally fell asleep.  Hope to meet the rest of the #Perlgirls in person some day.  Especially Fi.  I love that girl, feel like I've known her for always, and I've never met her in person.  The stories I read and put on YouTube are mostly for her little boy. (Though I hope my grand nephews and other kiddos who might enjoy the stories also watch and listen. Like Malory's kids.  Mal's another of the #Perlgirls, and I've met her too.  She looks like she's about 15, but she's  an Air Force vet, a mom, and a very energetic and sweet gal.)
We didn't get to spend enough time together this trip, but then, Matt designed this as an anniversary celebration for us.  (A bit early, but still, we've been married 31 years now, so we're entitled to celebrate early.)  (Actual anniversary is September 22.)
So, because Matt and I spent some quality time together, I didn't get to hang out with my friends as much as I wanted.  We did, however, meet up for a visit with Ron, the SOA panel, and the photo op with Ron.

Here's the Three Amigas right before the SOA Reunion Panel on Saturday. ( My long suffering spouse is on my left.)

We still had fun together, and Mary and Jana had a chance to go out and have fun on their own.  Matt and I went out to a very nice dinner at Fogo de Chao for our "anniversary dinner".  Excellent food in a relaxing atmosphere.

Popping back to Friday for a moment, we also visited with Kim Coates, Ryan Hurst, and Mark Boone. Kim had his helper take a picture of him with Matt and I.  The one that's least blurry, I have my eyes closed in.  I am my mother's daughter...

Before leaving for this trip, I got some of our Pioneer Library System "swag" from my boss and the Info Services manager at our branch to take to the folks working the San Antonio Public Library's table in the "Kids Planet" section of  Comic Con.  They seemed pleased to be remembered by their fellow soldiers in the cause of literacy, and I had my picture made with their mascot!

This is the "swag" I took to the San Antonio librarians.  A Pete the Cat bag with I love my library mints in it, a PLS cup, pens, stylus pens, bookmmarks, and an unbrella

Me and the SAPL mascot.  Sorry, I didn't catch the name!  They had an awesome booth with cool activities for kids, teens, and even a few for adults! Great job SAPL!

There were so many people walking around in really cool costumes, but Saturday especially,  it was SO crowded, and we were short of time between events, that we couldn't get pictures made of them.
The con was a really great event.  They grew so quickly though, they need a bit more logistical know how, and they need to make maps that are oriented around where they are in the building, so people can figure out which way they need to go.  The volunteers and staff were unfailingly polite, and the staff were usually pretty knowledgeable, but the volunteers weren't always well briefed, though they'd go find someone to ask if they didn't know the answer.
Can't say enough good things about the staff at the Grand Hyatt.  Very attentive, very helpful, and the hotel looked great, and our stay was most comfortable.

The trip home was marred only by being SO LONG.  There was a traffic jam up due to ongoing construction before we got to Fort Worth, but after that, it was smooth sailing, and we took our time.  We stopped at Outback Steakhouse in Ft. Worth, and I had a Blood orange 'Rita with my burger.  (Thank God Matt was driving so I could indulge!)
We made  our obligatory stop at Chickasaw Travel Stop near Davis, so we could pick up some more Bedre Chocolate.  ALWAYS stop, both coming and going to and from Texas, because it is clean, the people are pleasant and helpful, and they have that wonderful chocolate for sale.

We got home around 10:30 pm or so on Sunday night.  Tired, but happy, and then we had to unload the car and put all that stuff away!
I have con swag for my coworkers, I gotta put the flair back on my lanyard and add the three new pieces I got, and figure out where I'm gonna display the new photos I have...

Finally got Ron to sign my book.  I'm keeping that inscription close to my heart.  So very sweet, and special to me.

All in all, a really great trip, and the only other hitch was discovered this morning as I was finishing my unpacking.  I went to get ready to walk, and realized I hadn't seen my Motorola Buds since Saturday.  Seems I left them by the safe in the hotel room.  Sigh.  Oh, well, they were about two years old, and had definitely seen better days.  Ordered replacements for a lot less than we paid for those.  Same exact thing, too.

I will be smiling about this trip for a long time to come.
Thanks, Matt, world's greatest husband! I love you even more than I did 31 years ago.
Thanks to Ron Perlman, The Man Himself, who is just awesome, and well, I love ya big guy.  You know that.
Thanks to Michael Ornstein, for being so kind,and original, and well, you know I love you, too, right?  After all, we are both survivors of being stuck in airplanes with pilots who thought they were comedians... ;-)