Just Another Manic Monday...

Now that I've given you all a classic '80s earworm, yes, it's Monday again.

I had several things to do today, and I got MOST of them done.  In spite of rain that reminded me at times of my mother-in-law's description of "rain like an inverted ocean."  Seriously.  High-speed wind shield wipers almost didn't cut it.  
The ducks love it.  Our resident neighborhood Mallards have been out there most of the day snuffling through the puddles and thoroughly enjoying themselves.
I am not so sure the broom plant or my roses are going to like all that moisture so much.  It's good for the area in general, though.  
Today was grocery shopping day.  Thankfully, I got my walk in early, before the rain started. I am also grateful that the rain let up long enough for me to get the groceries from the commissary to my car.  Once home, I pulled the car close enough to the garage to be able to unload in relative dryness. 
Voice lesson was a challenge.  Been a LONG time since I had a lesson, and a long time since I've practiced enough.  My throat was not happy with me. 
I also managed to get the kitchen cleaned up and the dishwasher dealt with this afternoon. 

There's still a load of towels to be folded in the dryer, but hey, they're not goin' anywhere...

Five more days of antibiotics, tomorrow's the last day of the steroids. 
Oh, yeah, I got stung by what we THINK was a wasp while in Austin almost two weeks ago.  The spot was almost completely gone, not even very red when we left Austin.  Last Tuesday morning, it was itchy, really swollen, and red.  Seems wasp stings do that sometimes - they have a delayed reaction.  So, off to the clinic I went, and the doc said I had a fever, so antibiotics, and a steroid pack for the swelling and irritation.  It is not swollen at all anymore, the mark is almost gone.  Just a little bump where the actual sting was, and it's not even red.   Downside has been that I have to keep food in my stomach, or it gets really painful.  Don't even want to SEE the scale until next week after I've had a chance to normalize the food/exercise ratio.  The clothes mostly still fit, so that's good...

Today was also my Mom's 91st birthday.  Had to call and wish her a happy birthday, and confess that though I had a card, and had indeed gotten it READY to mail, I had neglected to get it into the mailbox until this morning.  She laughed, and said that everybody's card seemed to be late this year.  She sounds good, and was having a great birthday.  Someone from her church brought her a little birthday cake, all decorated.  She says she'll probably take it to the dining room to share with the other residents who sit at her table. 

Days like this I usually prefer to spend curled up in my office with a book.  I only got to do that for a little while today.  I think I'll go do that some more before bedtime. 
Just checking in so that I don't get out of the habit of writing in this blog completely.

Remembering, Part 2

The Broken Cross that was atop our Cathedral.

Our regular 11 am church service was attended at about the usual level for a post-Easter Sunday.  Not a big crowd.  I saw several faces that were here 20 years ago.  Our current Dean, however, was not.  He spoke in his sermon about how it was impossible for those not here at that time to really understand how the bombing affected us.  He's right.  There's no real way to explain it. 
In my case, the bombing threatened the one place here in Oklahoma City that had become a place of comfort for me:  St. Paul's.  We may not have attended every week, but we went fairly often, and St. Paul's was a place I WANTED to be after that horrible morning, a place I needed to feel centered, closer to God.  Though the church was still standing, there was a LOT of structural damage to the Cathedral itself.  The Parish House and Dean Willey Hall were all right, if a bit banged up, but the Cathedral couldn't be used.  It took us two years to get it back in service. 
Saint Paul's gave me a way to be useful in the recovery efforts.  I volunteered to help in the garden, I helped stuff envelopes and served on a committee or two, but Matt and I found our true calling when we tried out for Cathedral Choir and were accepted.  We've been there ever since.  20 years in July.  We also helped by providing good things to eat after the 11 am service at least one Sunday a month, so people would stay and chat awhile instead of rushing off.  We did that for many years, until it became too much of a financial burden and logistical strain.  For awhile, there  were others, and then, all of the sudden, it seems, there was no one else wanting to help.  Needs change, and there just hasn't been the demand for our "after the 11"  time anymore. 

I have never gone to walk the outdoor portion of the Memorial.  I took my Mom and my sister and aunt to the museum, but it was warm out, and my Mom and my aunt didn't really want to walk around outside that much.  Matt doesn't really want to go to the museum.  He says he'd rather not remember all the things he saw and felt during the recovery effort.  He went to all the debriefs, and made sure his Airmen went, too, but he's done with it.  Maybe because all I could do was watch and wait, I want to remember, to see how far we've come.  But I cry whenever I see the pictures of the Coverdale boys.  Their aunt worked in Matt's squadron.  I had seen their pictures on her desk.  To see them in that museum, and know those little ones were gone, it just really got to me. 

For awhile this afternoon, we had bright sun, then the clouds rolled in, and we had a little thunderstorm.  Now the sun is back for the most part, the wind chasing clouds across it now and then.  This day, when the sun is shining, looks a lot like that day did.  Bright, unbelievably beautiful blue Oklahoma sky.  Until you saw the smoke.  Until you heard the news.  Until the tears made it rain all over this state.  That's when everybody started taking roll call in their heads.  "Where's so and so? They weren't headed downtown, were they?"  The phone calls to friends and family who work downtown, the anxious waiting.  Then the news.  The neighbors and friends of friends lost, the fellow parishioner injured, all the children lost and hurt.  Dear God, the poor little children, who hadn't done anything to anybody.  The beauty of the weather that day seemed surreal in contrast to all that was happening. 

Today's weather is moody.  The sunlight comes and goes, storms threaten and back off.  It is so much more representative of what that day was like emotionally. 
I sat in the loft today, as I always do on Sundays, and I thought of the people of our parish that made a difference that day who aren't with us anymore.  Especially Jim and Nick.  Jim was getting Mobile Meals ready to deliver that Wednesday morning, and refused to leave the kitchen until they were all out. Even when there was a scare about a possible second bomb, and they were evacuating the area.  Nick ran to the YMCA daycare to check on some of our youngest parishioners, who attended that daycare.  He found at least one, and offered the comfort of a familiar presence until their parents could get to them.  They have both passed on.  I miss them.  I marvel at how grown up all the children are who were so tiny in those days.  All young adults and beginning to make their mark on the world these days.  Those kiddos all know how much they are loved.  The losses that day made us all more aware of those precious little ones in our lives, and made us all more appreciative, and perhaps a little more patient, a little more likely to listen. 

This has not been as eloquent as perhaps some of my previous posts have been.  This year, I have had less time to ponder things.  I have been busy with things that I did not have in my life when the bombing happened.  The realization that tomorrow is not guaranteed helped get me moving, and now I have a job and responsibility I didn't have then.  I have had this job for 16 years now, but I have never gotten to attend an out of state conference before, and I just got back from one, so my brain is full of that, and how to process that, and what paperwork I have to complete, and so I have not had time to ponder the fact that the bombing was 20 years ago. 
All I can tell you is, the events surrounding that bombing are what began the process of us adopting Oklahoma as home.  Matt was still active duty at the time.  We didn't have to stay here when he retired a few years later, but we had become attached to this place, to the people, to our church, our community.  The Oklahoma Standard is a real thing.  It is an attitude that you see nearly every day.  People here watch out for each other.  Kindness is surprisingly common.    I only hope we can all live up to that standard as time goes on.

Remembering

The first thing that strikes me this morning is how different the weather is today than it was 20 years ago.  At least here in Moore, the skies are cloudy and there is no bright sunlight.  On that morning, there was beautiful weather.  The sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, it was lovely.  Until that plume of smoke rose over downtown.  Until we slowly realized that something truly awful had happened.  Then we were chilled, despite the warm sun, shocked and dismayed despite the lovely blue of the sky.  Even the birds hushed.

It didn't rain that day, but we all shed enough tears to soak the ground.  So many lost, so many hurt, all of us struggling to understand why.

I felt so useless.  There was nothing I could do to help.  I wasn't working at that time, or at least I'd have been at my library, to help our patrons.  I called about donating blood, but they didn't need it.  (Also, we were in Europe during the  Mad Cow scare, so they STILL won't let us donate blood. )  So, like most of Oklahoma, I prayed.  I watched and waited.  I was here for my husband, who volunteered to go to the site for rubble removal with the group from Tinker.  He spent several long days down there.
Our church is two blocks away from the site.  There was major damage, but the church was still standing.  In fact, services were held that Sunday, even if they were in the Hall instead of in the cathedral itself.  St. Paul's has been steadfast and determined through it all, and has reached out in love to all around who had need, right from the beginning.
I needed to be part of the church again.  We became regular attenders again.  In July of 1995, we auditioned and joined Cathedral Choir.  We have been there ever since.  This morning we are preparing to go for our usual 11 am Sunday service.  It will be crowded downtown.  It might be easier to stay away, to stay home and watch from afar. We cannot.  This is part of our lives, this church and its people are VERY important to us.  We will be there.  We will sing.  For in spite of hate and the will to destroy, Oklahoma City is still here.  In spite of the anger, it is still a friendly and loving place.  In spite of those who would make us fearful, we are NOT afraid.  We continue.

So, as I prepare to see those places I see every single Sunday once again, I will try to see with new eyes.  With eyes that remember the immediate aftermath of the bombing, and with eyes that see all the changes, the improvements, the progress.  I will see the beautiful face of a friend, a face that was cut and bleeding after the bombing, but a face that though scarred, is still beautiful, and usually sports a bright smile.  I will be able to worship in a place that means comfort and peace to me.  A place I was denied right after the bombing, indeed for two years after the bombing, because of damage.  That old cathedral nave is full of peace and love and is a sacred space.

I will find my place in the loft, and I will have a chance to reflect, to remember all the things that have happened in the last 20 years.  I will remember those we lost that day, and those we have lost since.  I will rejoice in those still here, but also know that those who have gone on are still with us, on days like this especially.  They will be there, in that place that was so dear to them as well, to add their spirit to ours in remembrance, gratitude, and rejoicing for the work God has done through us over all these years.

There will be more later.  I must prepare to leave for church now.

A Miscellany

We've found a new Latin American restaurant right here in Moore!  It's wonderful!  Amazonia Latin Flavors is on 12th Street across Janeway from Parmele Park.  The food is SO good!  The people are nice, too!  We've already been twice.  Can't get dessert too often, or I'll have to exercise 2 hours a day just to break even!

 One Week Later: 
Just got back last night from my week in Austin, TX at the Texas Library Association Annual Conference.  My colleagues and I had a great time, and learned a LOT.  Now I have to sit down and digest all that good info into useful chunks that perhaps our library system can find useful.  Also have to fill out an expense report for the reimbursable things.  (Meals.)

Not this weekend, though.  Today I had laundry and yard work to do.  Tomorrow I will finish laundry and of course, go sing at church.  It is also the 20th anniversary of the  Murrah building bombing.My thoughts will be on what happened 20 years ago, not on the conference just past.  Monday is soon enough to go over my notes and get them typed up.

Looking chubby for some reason at TXLA2015

Some observations from my trip:

And through the grey cool damp
We climb
And find once again
That the sun still shines
In spite of turbulence
And pain
Hope shines forth
For all again.

Wrote it as we climbed above the clouds as we were leaving for Austin.  Funny though, it fits the story of our recovery from the bombing, too.  We have climbed past the dark and pain, and hope and light fill our city again.

It's nice when an airline can keep its cool and just reschedule you around weather delays.

Adventures are fun but I prefer my cozy nook and my books.

It's really hard to write legibly when there's turbulence.

Need to develop a "Captain Obvious" character for our library videos.

For me, flying seems to be a diuretic.  Alas.

It's cool when your celebrity friends acknowledge your tweets.

Twitter withdrawal:  It's a Thing.

I may be a fussbudget, I may just be.  But I'm organized!!

Scenes from a walk to the conference from the hotel.

Austin is weird, but it's a beautiful kind of weird.

Bluebonnets growing close to the sidewalk in downtown Austin.

My great adventure, wherein I was bitten or stung by some obstreperous insect or arachnid.

How the bite looked the night after.

Library people are the best people there are - helpful, friendly, and caring.  (Except when it's a race for the free book table.  Then all best are off!)

Jewelry vendors do very well at library conferences.  (Heavily female crowd, mostly far from home with no time to go shop away from the conference... and you are selling shiny things!)

Trying to write a coherent report on this conference is going to be like trying to force the ocean through a tiny little funnel.  It's not all going to fit!

Digital citizenship session

Tomorrow is the day I will try to wrap my head around the fact that it has been 20 years since the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in down town Oklahoma City, just two blocks away from the church we attend.  So much has happened since, we've all grown so much since then.
Monday is soon enough to write my conference notes.  Tomorrow is for the remembering of the bombing, and tonight is for relaxing.

Trying To Get My Act Together and Taking It On the Road

I am about to embark on a brand new adventure.  I've never been to an out-of-state library conference before.  Next week, I'll be in Austin, TX for the Texas Library Association's annual conference.  (Yeah, I know, I'm not a Texan or an actual librarian, but I DO work in a library, and Oklahoma is right next door, so we have some of the same challenges as Texas does.)

There will be many new ideas to bring home about how to do some of the things we do every day, there will also be lots of vendors showing lots of neat things for libraries.
I am looking forward to the chance to talk to other library people, and to see new things.
I am also looking forward to seeing my friend Jana again.  She isn't a library person, but she is my friend, and she lives in Austin.  So, BONUS!

Trying to figure out how many outfits and what sort of clothes to take has been a challenge.  I know it will likely be warm, but we will be in an air conditioned building, and sitting a lot of the time.  Therefore, I have packed several of the Librarian's Best Friend:  The Cardigan.  I have sleeveless tops and tanks and work appropriate slacks that I can wear, and the cardigans are the perfect topper.  I am also taking a couple of pair of jeans.

I've mentioned before that I do not travel well.  I have the classic problem of trying to come up with a suitably portable version of "my stuff".  (See George Carlin on YouTube.)

Here's a link to it.

I will try to remember to take photos and post them.  I will be with two colleagues from the branch I work in, and I'll be rooming with a colleague from our South Oklahoma City branch.  She trained with us at Moore, so she knew what she was getting into when she agreed to put up with me as a roomie!  (Hi Suzanne! ;-) )

Getting a little bit nervous, but I am sure everything will work out.  After all, I'm  going to be in the midst of some of the most helpful people in the universe: Librarians!