From The Slough Of Despond

I haven't written a blessed thing in MONTHS.  Not a line of poetry, no more of the story I'm working on, not even a journal entry.  My mind has been dragged into the national stupor known as Corona Virus.  We were locked down, now we've started 'reopening', and much too soon, obviously, as infection rates are spiking.  We are back in the branch at the library now, waiting on word of when or if we reopen fully to the public, with social distancing enforced and masks strongly recommended.  (We will give you a mask if you need one.)

I am still afraid, because so many idiots refuse to wear a mask, saying it infringes on their "rights."  Your rights end where another person's well being begins, folks, and ALL rights come with RESPONSIBILITIES.  You aren't two anymore, you have to Adult now, and wear your mask, and STAY HOME UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO GO OUT.  (And no, seeing your friends at the bar for a drink or twelve is not something you HAVE to do, no matter HOW you feel about it.)

During this time I have made a LOT of masks, and have just ordered filters and nose pieces for them, and some more of the "good" elastic that makes better ear loops.  Matt and I each have several masks we can wear if we must leave the house.  I wear mine to work, to walk, and certainly if I have to go to a store.  Matt wears his on his rare trips to pick up his prescriptions and get takeout food.  We both have doctor's appointments coming up, and you can bet we'll be masked for those.  We also carry hand sanitizer with us. (I was recently able to restock my supply of "pocket bacs" from Bath and Body Works.  I like those because they are small, and have pleasant scents.)  I also have the generic type in a small squeeze bottle that I refill from our large bottle at home and take for use at work.  Every time I do venture out to a store, I pick up as many packages of paper towels and facial tissues as I am allowed to buy.  I also try to get disinfecting wipes.  Toilet paper isn't as big a deal here lately, I have a 20 pack of Scott Tissue in the closet, and a couple of generic brand backups just in case.  Each of our "crates" we store tissue in is almost full right now.  (One in each bathroom, each holds 12 rolls.) I was pretty well stocked with Scott Tissue before this whole mess started, and there's only the two of us, so it lasts awhile.

I get very tired of the Trump Circus.  I wish it would leave town already.  It's old, it's sad, it's being run by shady characters, and it really isn't doing anyone any good.  The fact that he is not the least bit averse to cheating scares me.  He and his minions are going to do everything possible to mess up the election.  Biden needs to win by a really, really, big landslide, one that CANNOT be ignored or 'Electoral College -ed' away.  It needs to be OBVIOUS that the people want Trump OUT.  His idiot base has so thoroughly swallowed the Kool-Aid though, that they will support him no matter that he's actively trying to kill them.  (By giving them all the Corona Virus at his "rallies".)  What really worries me is what is happening behind the scenes while the media is paying attention to his circus.  All those judges appointed for life, who do the bidding of big corporations and care nothing really about the Constitution or the spirit of the law, all the money disappearing into Trump associated accounts, there are so many things going on that we never see.

Joe Biden will be such a breath of fresh air.  He LISTENS, he learns, he tries to do better.  He is an honorable man, no matter how much the Trump projection machine tries to claim he has all the same foibles as their boy. 

All this is to say my mind has been far too much taken up with all this outside noise to listen to my insides.  I haven't been able to write, I don't get to sing much, since choir and voice lessons are out because of this virus.  I have been reading, but a lot of it has been non-fiction, and work related.  Good, thought provoking and interesting, but I need some escapism.  I've read White Fragility, and have been mentally chewing on that for awhile.  So many, many things we never even think about, and they are founded in the fact that in this country, white is the default setting for everything.  I hope to God I haven't hurt, frustrated, or exasperated any of my friends by my sometimes clueless white person behavior.  I want to do better, I want to know when I screw up, and own it, and try to learn from it and not do it anymore.

So much rattling around in my brain, and nothing good coming of it so far, at least nothing tangible.  So, that's my self- centered navel gazing for this blog post. 

May this find all of you in a better place than I currently am, may you be able to deal with all the noise productively, and may you stay healthy!

A Whole New World

Well, since I've last actually written a blog post, SO MANY THINGS have happened.
The most noticeable of which is that Corona Virus has caused us all to flee indoors, away from each other.  Most of America is now holed up in our houses, trying to learn how to work from home.
It isn't so bad for introverts like me, but it does get hard to stay on task sometimes.
I will be doing online trainings and helping clear some housekeeping tasks on our database during this time.

The Desk

View From the exercise bike

I do my database work on my tablet, as that is the only route I can use for access.


Some further observations on life during all this :

Proper use of the apostrophe is still a really tough thing for a lot of people.

Spring is determined to show up, no matter how crabby we feel being cooped up at home.  Evidence from my walk today:

 The trees, the bulbs, even the weeds are blooming.  Of course, this makes everyone's allergies act up, and that makes people nervous with this virus going around.

I don't know what kind of tree the one with the pale pink blooms is, but it sure is pretty.



The darker pink ones are redbuds, of course.

 I don't know the name of these weeds, but they are blooming everywhere in the neighborhood just now, including the parking strip at our house.

The photo is a bit distant, but those tulips are beautiful.










Another thing I have noticed since all this started, I don't sleep well.  I wake up when Matt's alarm goes off, and can't really get back to sleep.  I can't GET to sleep  before midnight, either, no matter what I try.  My brain is like a hamster in a wheel, running and running.  I try all sorts of things to stop it, but the only thing that eventually works is that my body is so tired, it just ignores my brain.

I had some wine this evening.  That may help.  I had it more than three hours before I plan to go to bed, so maybe Fitbit is right, and it won't interfere with my REM sleep.

I have been acquiring equipment to make me more productive at home.  Most of it is fairly inexpensive, and will also make other endeavors easier, not just working from home.  One thing is the cube timer.  It's really neat looking, and really easy to use.  Just turn the time you want to the top, and the timer starts.  

April 13, 2020

The dreaded Monday, the 13th.  Not so dreaded this year, because it's my buddy Ron's birthday, and all of us friends got our heads together online and made him a little birthday surprise.  I think he liked it.
The fact that I can't seem to finish a blog post, or to finish the story I'm working on is ample illustration of the fact that though I am working from home, I am still short of time and attention span.
I am writing this during my "processing" time for work because there is no email in my inboxes, and well, trying to sort out my wayward brain before  trying to work is probably a good idea.  I have watched a LOT of training videos over the last three weeks.  I have become much better acquainted with the Mango Languages program the library gives patrons access to.  (Though the weird thing is, even though I have the Spanish and German courses saved, I am currently spending the most time with Scottish Gaelic.  )  My only complaint about Mango is that there is very little phoneme-grapheme correspondence training.  It would be grand if I could also learn to READ the language.  I can already read quite a lot of Spanish and German, having spent several years acquainted with both languages, and basically being immersed in German for four years.

I am currently re-reading a mystery series that I started several years ago.  The next book should be out soon, so I am catching myself back up on all the previous plots, and they do intertwine a bit. You can read just one book and it will be fine, but it's more fun if you've read all the others, too.

I still find sleeping difficult, and waking up is becoming my least favorite thing.  I would love to just go to sleep and let all of the worry and fear pass me by completely.  Wake me up when it's over.

Trying to maintain the physical activity is difficult when I am not hauling books around and walking folks back to the stacks like I do for at least 10 of my 20 weekly hours at work normally.  I have started walking twice most days, and I'm going to have to start making more use of the exercise bike, too.
So far, Matt and I have not bothered each other when both working from home.  I stay in my office for my 4 hours, except for breaks, and he stays in his for his 8 hours, except for breaks.
I find myself doing things like taking the trash out and checking the mail on my breaks. Anything to get up and move!
So many worries pressing in on me.  For NOW, Matt has a job, but the Postal Service is under distress, and Congress is not really inclined to help, and of course Mr. Trump says he'll veto anything that tries to rescue a service he'd really rather dump, because he doesn't get any income from it, and can't figure out how to get income from it. (I don't know his real reason, but this is my suspicion.  I have never trusted the man.  I had hoped he would prove me wrong, but so far, his behavior has been even WORSE than I expected.)

So, on to another four hours of training videos, brainstorming ideas, trying to cheer my coworkers long distance, and doing some database maintenance. 
Here's hoping we get a vaccine for this stuff in record time, and that we can put the world back into an order that maybe works a little better for all of us.  For certain we have seen that our healthcare system needs some overhauling.

May we all emerge healthier and stronger rather than heavier and fattier! (Not looking good for me, so far!)