More Notes From The Journal

6/7/16


I found the oldest of my Waterman pens and got it started  A lot smoother than I remember it being.  Alas, the green one has died and untimely death.  I remembered that when I did not find it in the pen cup tonight. The blue one is performing beautifully.  Too bad my handwriting is so awful - I am out of practice, I fear, and not writing in the best of conditions.

6/9/16

Trying not to cough- medicine hasn't stopped the insidious little tickle yet.
Hope it stops before the mammogram.  Coughing and holding still don't go together...

All is well. God is good, and there was nothing to be seen on the mammogram, only the same things that have always been there.


6/13/16
Oh, hello Monday.
I thought that was you
Bringing me chores to catch up on
And even more things to do
Making life busy
Like a hamster in a wheel
Running and running
And never getting anywhere.

Laundry leftovers,
Ironing to do,
Dishes waiting in the sink -
House cleaning, too.
Must remember to
Take the trash out
Errands must be run
Oh, gee, isn't this fun?

All on a summer day
When the skies are grey
And storms threaten
I'd rather be curled up
With a book
And ignore you
And all your demands.
Monday.

6/14/16

So busy
No time to breathe
Not time to think
No time to write.

Time should be flying
Alas- it is not.
It is dragging itself along
Like a cricket who got
Left behind in the hot sun.

The weather has no mercy
Hot sun
And thick air
Summer is truly here
Making me grateful for iced tea
And air conditioning.

The sun is hot,
The clouds offer no respite.
They only add to the heaviness
This day has put upon my spirit.

At least this fountain pen is so sweet and so smooth
The new ink such a beautiful blue
Perfect for this blue Tuesday
I've been having today.
At least this pen makes me happy.
It's being good and helping my writing look better.

Rosewood Chinese Fountain Pen

And when I returned home from work,
A nice surprise.
One of the Chinese fountain pens I ordered
Had arrived.
It is very nicely made, very smooth writing,
And started working with very little fuss.
Almost unheard of behavior from a fountain pen!

It's late and I'm tired,
but brain is not quite done,
and sinuses have joined the discussion.
This could get ugly.
Supposed to be hot again tomorrow -
But no rain.


6/15/16

Drowsy Summer Heat
Soaking the energy out of everything
And everyone
Except the children,
It would seem.
They are loud and energetic in the cool
Of the library
Adding mayhem to a day when
Most of us
Would love to just sit quietly
And disappear into a book..


I should avoid the Friends' book sale shelf
I keep finding things to bring home.
I have no more room!

6/16/16

Alas,
Another fountain pen has expired
Matt will have to buy a new nib assembly for it if he can.
That was one of the ones he made for me.


6/17/16
Another day in the inner circles of hell.
SO hot.
I wonder if the blacktop on the streets will
Stick to my shoes.

Again today one of the new fountain pens I ordered from China
Has arrived.
This one is very fancy, very heavy, solid, and also smooth writing and starts up with very little fuss.  I am very pleased.

Red Dragon fountain pen.

 That's about it for now.  The heat has put a real damper on my ability to concentrate well on writing or anything else for that matter. 
Tomorrow the lawn MUST be mowed, so we must get up and get at that early before it gets too hot.

Tallulah, Darling! And Other Adventures This Week Has Brought

I have finally gotten over the sniffles I've had for the last week.  One side effect that I often have with a cold is that I start to sound exactly like Tallulah Bankhead.  I never realized it until I was in my early 20s and my Mom said, "You sound just like Tallulah Bankhead!"  She was right. I've recently watched Lifeboat again, and oh, my, yes, when I have a cold, I sound like her.  Darling, bear with me, I've had one martini already.

Over the years I've had a bit of fun, but also frustration, with sounding like Tallulah.  I don't like it when she shows up near a time I have to sing.  I can't sing bass, Darling, I'm a SOPRANO!
I have fun when I answer the phone at the library.  People always pause, like they wonder if they've dialed a VERY wrong number! Well, "Tallulah voice" is rather sexy and suggestive... Not on purpose, though.


I had an interesting week this week.  First FULL week of Summer Reading, and we managed to stay caught up with the checkins!  I also survived a committee meeting, and catching up with the  ILLs.  Found out that a coworker is leaving. and nobody told me.  Guess I was out of town when it was decided.  Will miss her! She's been a stalwart worker and a fellow Whovian!

I have also dealt with my fountain pens this week.  I wrote a post about them, and have ordered and already received new cartridges for the Cross pens and the Waterman pens.  (Waterman cartridges will fit the pens Matt made for me as well.)

Last week I sent another story off to the folks who may publish it online.  Haven't heard if or when yet.  Getting a little antsy, but I can wait.


I had good news this week.  The lump I found under a bruise on my left breast was indeed caused by the bruise.  By the time I got in for the mammogram, I could no longer find the lump, and the mammogram confirmed that nothing is there, and indeed nothing new has shown up in either breast.  Good news at my age.  I lost a colleague and friend a few years ago to breast cancer.  Not taking ANY chances with that stuff.  Ladies, always have your checkups, and if you've had  cancer ALWAYS GO FOR YOUR FOLLOW UPS!!    Please take every irregularity seriously and get it checked out!!  Most times, like mine, it's really nothing, but it is far better to be safe than sorry!

CONTINUED ON  SUNDAY NIGHT>>>

Just finished watching the Tony Awards.  Always a great show, like a little Broadway sampler plate to whet your appetite for when the touring companies come to town.

Was very happy to be back at St. Paul's this morning.  We've missed two Sundays in a row, one for the convention in Houston, and last week because we were both afflicted with that sinus cold.   That church is a truly comforting place, so full of love, and so full of loving people.  Going there always makes me feel better.

I made some more buttons today, mostly just for fun.  I now have one that says "Strait Outta Compton Yup. I left in 1974"  and an Opus using the "mental floss" - figured that one would be very necessary during the campaign season.  Now to find a place to put them on the library lanyard...

Dear God, please take the hot flashes away.  I am getting very weary of suddenly feeling as though I am going to turn into a puddle of sweat.  Feels like I am burning up from the inside out.  I haven't been sleeping so well lately because of them.

Some day SOON I have to clean up this office again.  Things are piling up on me.  It's a matter of lack of organization and storage space.  (Also, too much stuff that really should be thrown away...)

So very saddened by the events in Orlando yesterday.  Sad for the Islamic community that their holy month of Ramadan has been disrupted by this one idiot's act of violence, very sad for the LGBT community that now has even more fear and stress to deal with.  As I posted on my Facebook page: To all my LGBT friends, you are loved.  I love you for who you are, and I always will.  You are supported in your struggles.  Don't lose hope.

Saw a very good tweet re ISIS yesterday.  ISIS is to Islam as Torquemada and the Inquisition were to Christianity.  
Basically a bunch of nutcases on a violent witch hunt.Only ISIS isn't really sanctioned by any governing body of Islam.  Alas, Torquemada was sanctioned by Rome.

Time to tie this one up, folks.
Remember that we are all of us related to one another on this planet.  Can't avoid it, we all came from the same raw materials, we share some genetics with every other human on this ball of mud.  As Captain Kirk once said on Star Trek, the only thing in the whole universe that's really ours is the rest of humanity.  Please, let's learn to love each other before it's too late.

Dribbles and Blots - Tales From The Fountain Pens

From my Journal - 5/25/16

And what tale could it tell, this pen of my father's?
This pen that went to war
And came home safely,
Could it write the things
Pop would rather not?
He left ugliness behind
As much as possible
But war marks a person
Whether they fought in it or not
And Pop fought 2 long hard years
In the Pacific
Heat and humidity and unrelenting
Sun
Hard on a mountain-raised man.
Killing and death all around him,
Himself called upon to kill.
My husband went to war as well

On a much smaller scale
In a supporting role,
But still,Separation from loved ones,
Danger, because he was a flyer.
Anytime large, slow aircraft fly in or near
A war zone,
There is danger.

I am amazed at this pen
It's been through so much,
Yet responds well to my hand
Not normal for a fountain pen
They tend to get worn to the owner's
Hand, and don't adapt easily to the way
Another writes.

What would Pop think of the trip Matt and I are embarking on tomorrow? A waste of money? Too dicey leaving the house alone during storm season?  Or FUN- a chance to fly together, a chance to see friends and look at things we find interesting
One long date after 32 years (almost) of marriage - An chance to have fun together.

5/27/16

Weary
But not sleepy.
So full of joy
 For seeing friends and renewing
Aquaintences
Also apprehensive
About things coming up
Trying hard not to worry
Letting God take care of it
But I'm only human.
Uncertainty sticks its head up
 and scowls at me
Sometimes.


Rain
Loud
Dripping
Slapping pavement
Splashing down the sidewalk
Soaking the weary stragglers
Homeward bound from
Their day of revels.


6/6/16

Sometimes having a body
Is a pain
Literally.
Your mind is trapped-
Chained to the demands
Of a pile of biology.
Sometimes a body
Is powerful
Stretching
Running
Dancing
Loving
Alive
Giving a glorious feeling of freedom
 But more often as I age
It is a limitation,
A place where my mind is stuck
Captive to its pains and whims.


This pen has not lived much,  It has been in a cup on my desk most of its life.  None of my own pens has had the adventures Pop's pen has had,  But they keep it company in the "Little joys of teaching" mug on my desk.
And perhaps
In the wee small hours,
When the house is sleeping,
It shares those stories
With the young pens gathered around.
This one is sleek, silver, and slim -
A very lady like fountain pen

This pen is more substantial,
A deep cobalt blue barrel and cap with silver fittings
Could be considered rather masculine,, I suppose
But I like it.  It makes it easier to write boldly.
Though tonight, my writing is awful due to itchy burning eyes and a sneezy, sometimes congested nose.

I know there are others out there that share my odd fascination with antiquated writing implements like fountain pens -
I have several, and these few are very balky and temperamental.  There are a few like Pop's old Parker that should be balky, but work like a dream.
Then there are these that Matt made for me - and they are so very temperamental.
The worst, though, are the two most expensive Waterman pens I own.  I didn't even get them out tonight to try to coax them into writing.  Didn't feel up to the fight.
All the pens Matt made for me will write pretty well once properly started, but some are scratchy.  Some flow surprisingly smoothly over the paper.
I have not done much inspired composition with any of the fountain pens.
They require attention and are a mechanical distraction when the muse is adamant about being heard.
Still, sometimes I like to get them out, and gather them around, make sure they are comfortable,
and listen to see if they have any stories for me.

That's about all from my alternately drippy and stuffy, sneezy and bubbly self tonight.

Fountain Pens in the Little Joys of Teaching mug.

Life Among the General Muddle

It seems to me lately that I am trying to function around my own, and everyone else's clutter.  My desk and my office in general are full of "stuff".  A lot of it is stuff I use, stuff I really like, or stuff I don't know what else to do with.
I suppose I shall have to take some time and sort it all out soon, but that's going to be a muddle all its own...

Then, there are the time muddles.  I have a medical issue that they doctor would like more information about.  (A diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound, to be specific.)  The soonest I could schedule one was this coming Monday.  At work yesterday, I got a call saying the tech won't be in that day, can we reschedule.  So, now it's next Friday.  Guess I should be relieved that the doc didn't want to RUSH this.  Must mean they don't think it's serious.  On the other hand, what if it IS?  I've just wasted time doing nothing when they could have been taking care of this whatever it is.  (I agree that it's most likely not serious, though.  I just have a feeling about it.  Still nerve-wracking, though, to think there's something that really needs looked at...)



I realize how spoiled I've become
Since you are always here
I don't miss you anymore.
Only when something happens
That I know would make you laugh
THEN I miss you, and wish you were there
To share it.
I used to miss you every time
I came back to the house and you weren't there
Every time I sat down to a meal alone,
Every night when I went to bed
Because so often, you weren't there.
Now I am spoiled
Because more often than not, you are there,
And I am not alone.
It makes me dread
Ever being without you
Again.




At least the library isn't a muddle.  Summer has but barely begun, but still, we are clearing backlogs and keeping up with the sorting and shelving and checkins better than I remember us doing in many past years.  This is a very busy place in summer.


I very much fear that I am coming down with the sinus crud that's been going around.  My throat is scratchy, and I just feel "off".  Rats.  Tallulah will show up steal my voice, and she'll drink all the bourbon while she's at it!
Maybe a lemon chiffon cake martini wouldn't hurt... vitamin C after all...
 I gave in.  I made on.  Working on making it last.  LOVE the way they taste, all lemony and slightly sweet. Makes the throat feel LOTS better!

Lemon Chiffon Cake Martini - recipe by The Martini Diva

Sitting here among the clutter in my office, afraid to even try clearing any of it.  My sinuses have declared war on the rest of me, and I am become Snot, Slimer of Worlds.  SO, I will retreat to my reading corner with my little drink, and my something to read, and trouble you no more this night.  Maybe.
You never know.  I'm awfully needy sometimes.

Rumblings of Mutiny, Awash In Summer Reading, General Nonsense

Me and Michael in San Antonio 2015

Me and Michael in Houston 2016  I was trying to fit under the hat!

I did not say much in my post about Space City Comic Con about the disorganized, and downright dishonest things that the management did there.  Our own experience was mildly affected by it, but many, many fans were out thousands of dollars for promised perks that they never got, AND some of the celebrity guests were shorted on money, too.  That, and we never did get a coherent schedule from the con itself.  Wolf Photography had their schedule, and it was pretty accurate, except when the ineptitude of con management screwed it up.  Nobody ever picked up Doug Jones from his hotel on Friday, so he was late arriving, and missed his Friday photo ops.  (My ticket was honored for Saturday.)  A guest artist we spoke to was left stranded at the airport, and had to take Uber to their hotel.  (They rode in to the con on the hotel shuttle with us on Friday.) There was much grumbling and bad feeling among some of the fans.  For the most part, the celebs stayed and took care of their fans.  (Ron Perlman especially was gracious about making sure his fans got what they came for.  SUCH a sweet man, and appreciative of his fans.)  Doug Jones was gracious and kind and very loving to his fans in spite of being left waiting on Friday.
Michael Ornstein also stayed through Sunday, in spite of being part of the group that wasn't paid correctly by the con management.  He had a table in the autograph/artist's area and was selling and signing original art.  He's a pretty cool dude.  I really like him.  Love his painting that Matt bought me.  It's hanging in the front hall now, so we see it every day!

Today was the beginning of Summer Reading at our library.  I worked from 11 to 3.  The kickoff event ran from 10 to 12, and believe me, we were busy long after it ended!  Lots of fun, exciting stuff for the kiddos, and lots and lots of new library cards made!

But oh, the weather from Houston followed us home.  It's been RAINY and HUMID and HOT here this week.  Nasty.  Got rained on getting to my car after work both yesterday and today.  The yard needs mowing, but the rain won't stop long enough to let it dry enough so I can mow it!  Our lovely yard is a JUNGLE!!


We have been busy framing and hanging the art and photos we bought this weekend.  I am seriously running out of wall space in this house.  I have culled out what I have on display, but still, my walls are FULL!

Sitting here writing, checking social media, and sipping on a "Hammered Nail" cocktail.  Made with Rye Whiskey, Drambuie, Creme de Cacao, and Coffee Liqueur.   Very good stuff.  Very slow sipping recommended.  Let it settle in bit by bit.  Great for winding down after a busy, busy day.

Tomorrow is my turn to do Zumba with the library program bunch.  Here's hoping I survive!!


Life has so many textures
Tastes
Sounds
Scents
Colors
Lights
And Darknesses.
It sometimes is more
Than I can take in.
So many things I want to do
Want to see
So little time
In the short span we are given
Which also is full
Of things we NEED to do
MUST do
Are paid to do.
Lucky for me
Many of those are
Very fulfilling things
And give me satisfaction
Even though there are other things
I'd rather have the time for.

To spend time with people I care for
To read stories that let me dream
To write the things I dream up
To stare at the light and shadows in the garden
To sit with you
And remember why
We fell in love
And find again
That you are the one
I am happy to be with.