This World Is Slowly Coming Undone

I cannot begin to understand this.  So many killed just because they happen to have dark skin?
And then, shooting police officers in the back, because of the previous shootings?
What is this? The wild west?
On top of this, the climate's gone bonkers, weather's all screwed up, and all our lawmakers can do is try to save the pocketbooks of big corporations, and argue about emails and other nonsense instead of doing something to see to it that ALL Americans have justice and the freedom to go about their lives without fear.

Yes, things are getting scary out there.  But really, they always have been.  We've just been forced to look at it more closely lately.  We DO need to change.  Hate, suspicion and violence cannot be permitted to continue.  We have to listen to each other, really listen, understand the fears on both sides, and yes, there are fears that the cynical play on to pit poor whites against blacks and other minorities.  Those fears are unfounded, but that matters not to the elite who profit from keeping folks divided.  We have got to start thinking about how others feel. People like me, who have had certain advantages that we pretty much took for granted, have to examine that and see where we need to be humble and grateful, and what we can do to ensure EVERYONE gets those advantages. There IS enough to go around, we just have to let go of greed, and we'll see it.  Easier said than done, I know.  All of it is.  Easy to say that we ought to change, hard as heck to do the work.  The work MUST be done.

In the midst of all this sorrow, anger, and soul-searching, I have been cleaning out my office.  Found some things that made me smile.  Valentine notes from coworkers, most precious, one from Melodie, who was taken from us by cancer a while back.  Old love letters from Matt.  Oh, my, did the boy ever have it BAD!  (So did I!) 32 years later, and we're still together...
I have cleaned out the file drawers, the closet, and most of my desk.  Reorganized the bookshelves, both in my office credenza and in the closet.  Looks a lot less like things are going to fall on me now. Everything on my weekend to do list is done, except the laundry.  I can do that tomorrow after church.  I got several limbs off the pecan tree yesterday, and Matt got the little electric chain saw going today to chop up the last of the big pieces so they'd fit in the trash.  The pecan tree is no longer rubbing the crepe myrtle, which is a good thing.  I got both yards mowed well before last night's rain hit, and the entirety of today, except for a walk, was spent sorting, cleaning, and tossing things in this office.  Whew.  Church and laundry are going to feel like a vacation!

I am blessed right now with an embarrassing number of wonderful fountain pens.  I guess I'll have to get busy and put more time in with those journals of mine!

There is also a story I've been working on for MONTHS, and I just might be able to coax it along to a finish before much longer.  (My proofreader is either going to love me or hate me.)

I have a birthday card or two to make tomorrow, as well as a budget to fuss, so it won't just be church and laundry.
Right now, however, it's National Pina Colada Day, so I'm going to make myself one, and sit here with my feet up enjoying it and reading fanfiction!  (It's how I relax!)
Until next time, be well, and be good to each other!

More Notes From The Journal

6/7/16


I found the oldest of my Waterman pens and got it started  A lot smoother than I remember it being.  Alas, the green one has died and untimely death.  I remembered that when I did not find it in the pen cup tonight. The blue one is performing beautifully.  Too bad my handwriting is so awful - I am out of practice, I fear, and not writing in the best of conditions.

6/9/16

Trying not to cough- medicine hasn't stopped the insidious little tickle yet.
Hope it stops before the mammogram.  Coughing and holding still don't go together...

All is well. God is good, and there was nothing to be seen on the mammogram, only the same things that have always been there.


6/13/16
Oh, hello Monday.
I thought that was you
Bringing me chores to catch up on
And even more things to do
Making life busy
Like a hamster in a wheel
Running and running
And never getting anywhere.

Laundry leftovers,
Ironing to do,
Dishes waiting in the sink -
House cleaning, too.
Must remember to
Take the trash out
Errands must be run
Oh, gee, isn't this fun?

All on a summer day
When the skies are grey
And storms threaten
I'd rather be curled up
With a book
And ignore you
And all your demands.
Monday.

6/14/16

So busy
No time to breathe
Not time to think
No time to write.

Time should be flying
Alas- it is not.
It is dragging itself along
Like a cricket who got
Left behind in the hot sun.

The weather has no mercy
Hot sun
And thick air
Summer is truly here
Making me grateful for iced tea
And air conditioning.

The sun is hot,
The clouds offer no respite.
They only add to the heaviness
This day has put upon my spirit.

At least this fountain pen is so sweet and so smooth
The new ink such a beautiful blue
Perfect for this blue Tuesday
I've been having today.
At least this pen makes me happy.
It's being good and helping my writing look better.

Rosewood Chinese Fountain Pen

And when I returned home from work,
A nice surprise.
One of the Chinese fountain pens I ordered
Had arrived.
It is very nicely made, very smooth writing,
And started working with very little fuss.
Almost unheard of behavior from a fountain pen!

It's late and I'm tired,
but brain is not quite done,
and sinuses have joined the discussion.
This could get ugly.
Supposed to be hot again tomorrow -
But no rain.


6/15/16

Drowsy Summer Heat
Soaking the energy out of everything
And everyone
Except the children,
It would seem.
They are loud and energetic in the cool
Of the library
Adding mayhem to a day when
Most of us
Would love to just sit quietly
And disappear into a book..


I should avoid the Friends' book sale shelf
I keep finding things to bring home.
I have no more room!

6/16/16

Alas,
Another fountain pen has expired
Matt will have to buy a new nib assembly for it if he can.
That was one of the ones he made for me.


6/17/16
Another day in the inner circles of hell.
SO hot.
I wonder if the blacktop on the streets will
Stick to my shoes.

Again today one of the new fountain pens I ordered from China
Has arrived.
This one is very fancy, very heavy, solid, and also smooth writing and starts up with very little fuss.  I am very pleased.

Red Dragon fountain pen.

 That's about it for now.  The heat has put a real damper on my ability to concentrate well on writing or anything else for that matter. 
Tomorrow the lawn MUST be mowed, so we must get up and get at that early before it gets too hot.

Tallulah, Darling! And Other Adventures This Week Has Brought

I have finally gotten over the sniffles I've had for the last week.  One side effect that I often have with a cold is that I start to sound exactly like Tallulah Bankhead.  I never realized it until I was in my early 20s and my Mom said, "You sound just like Tallulah Bankhead!"  She was right. I've recently watched Lifeboat again, and oh, my, yes, when I have a cold, I sound like her.  Darling, bear with me, I've had one martini already.

Over the years I've had a bit of fun, but also frustration, with sounding like Tallulah.  I don't like it when she shows up near a time I have to sing.  I can't sing bass, Darling, I'm a SOPRANO!
I have fun when I answer the phone at the library.  People always pause, like they wonder if they've dialed a VERY wrong number! Well, "Tallulah voice" is rather sexy and suggestive... Not on purpose, though.


I had an interesting week this week.  First FULL week of Summer Reading, and we managed to stay caught up with the checkins!  I also survived a committee meeting, and catching up with the  ILLs.  Found out that a coworker is leaving. and nobody told me.  Guess I was out of town when it was decided.  Will miss her! She's been a stalwart worker and a fellow Whovian!

I have also dealt with my fountain pens this week.  I wrote a post about them, and have ordered and already received new cartridges for the Cross pens and the Waterman pens.  (Waterman cartridges will fit the pens Matt made for me as well.)

Last week I sent another story off to the folks who may publish it online.  Haven't heard if or when yet.  Getting a little antsy, but I can wait.


I had good news this week.  The lump I found under a bruise on my left breast was indeed caused by the bruise.  By the time I got in for the mammogram, I could no longer find the lump, and the mammogram confirmed that nothing is there, and indeed nothing new has shown up in either breast.  Good news at my age.  I lost a colleague and friend a few years ago to breast cancer.  Not taking ANY chances with that stuff.  Ladies, always have your checkups, and if you've had  cancer ALWAYS GO FOR YOUR FOLLOW UPS!!    Please take every irregularity seriously and get it checked out!!  Most times, like mine, it's really nothing, but it is far better to be safe than sorry!

CONTINUED ON  SUNDAY NIGHT>>>

Just finished watching the Tony Awards.  Always a great show, like a little Broadway sampler plate to whet your appetite for when the touring companies come to town.

Was very happy to be back at St. Paul's this morning.  We've missed two Sundays in a row, one for the convention in Houston, and last week because we were both afflicted with that sinus cold.   That church is a truly comforting place, so full of love, and so full of loving people.  Going there always makes me feel better.

I made some more buttons today, mostly just for fun.  I now have one that says "Strait Outta Compton Yup. I left in 1974"  and an Opus using the "mental floss" - figured that one would be very necessary during the campaign season.  Now to find a place to put them on the library lanyard...

Dear God, please take the hot flashes away.  I am getting very weary of suddenly feeling as though I am going to turn into a puddle of sweat.  Feels like I am burning up from the inside out.  I haven't been sleeping so well lately because of them.

Some day SOON I have to clean up this office again.  Things are piling up on me.  It's a matter of lack of organization and storage space.  (Also, too much stuff that really should be thrown away...)

So very saddened by the events in Orlando yesterday.  Sad for the Islamic community that their holy month of Ramadan has been disrupted by this one idiot's act of violence, very sad for the LGBT community that now has even more fear and stress to deal with.  As I posted on my Facebook page: To all my LGBT friends, you are loved.  I love you for who you are, and I always will.  You are supported in your struggles.  Don't lose hope.

Saw a very good tweet re ISIS yesterday.  ISIS is to Islam as Torquemada and the Inquisition were to Christianity.  
Basically a bunch of nutcases on a violent witch hunt.Only ISIS isn't really sanctioned by any governing body of Islam.  Alas, Torquemada was sanctioned by Rome.

Time to tie this one up, folks.
Remember that we are all of us related to one another on this planet.  Can't avoid it, we all came from the same raw materials, we share some genetics with every other human on this ball of mud.  As Captain Kirk once said on Star Trek, the only thing in the whole universe that's really ours is the rest of humanity.  Please, let's learn to love each other before it's too late.

Dribbles and Blots - Tales From The Fountain Pens

From my Journal - 5/25/16

And what tale could it tell, this pen of my father's?
This pen that went to war
And came home safely,
Could it write the things
Pop would rather not?
He left ugliness behind
As much as possible
But war marks a person
Whether they fought in it or not
And Pop fought 2 long hard years
In the Pacific
Heat and humidity and unrelenting
Sun
Hard on a mountain-raised man.
Killing and death all around him,
Himself called upon to kill.
My husband went to war as well

On a much smaller scale
In a supporting role,
But still,Separation from loved ones,
Danger, because he was a flyer.
Anytime large, slow aircraft fly in or near
A war zone,
There is danger.

I am amazed at this pen
It's been through so much,
Yet responds well to my hand
Not normal for a fountain pen
They tend to get worn to the owner's
Hand, and don't adapt easily to the way
Another writes.

What would Pop think of the trip Matt and I are embarking on tomorrow? A waste of money? Too dicey leaving the house alone during storm season?  Or FUN- a chance to fly together, a chance to see friends and look at things we find interesting
One long date after 32 years (almost) of marriage - An chance to have fun together.

5/27/16

Weary
But not sleepy.
So full of joy
 For seeing friends and renewing
Aquaintences
Also apprehensive
About things coming up
Trying hard not to worry
Letting God take care of it
But I'm only human.
Uncertainty sticks its head up
 and scowls at me
Sometimes.


Rain
Loud
Dripping
Slapping pavement
Splashing down the sidewalk
Soaking the weary stragglers
Homeward bound from
Their day of revels.


6/6/16

Sometimes having a body
Is a pain
Literally.
Your mind is trapped-
Chained to the demands
Of a pile of biology.
Sometimes a body
Is powerful
Stretching
Running
Dancing
Loving
Alive
Giving a glorious feeling of freedom
 But more often as I age
It is a limitation,
A place where my mind is stuck
Captive to its pains and whims.


This pen has not lived much,  It has been in a cup on my desk most of its life.  None of my own pens has had the adventures Pop's pen has had,  But they keep it company in the "Little joys of teaching" mug on my desk.
And perhaps
In the wee small hours,
When the house is sleeping,
It shares those stories
With the young pens gathered around.
This one is sleek, silver, and slim -
A very lady like fountain pen

This pen is more substantial,
A deep cobalt blue barrel and cap with silver fittings
Could be considered rather masculine,, I suppose
But I like it.  It makes it easier to write boldly.
Though tonight, my writing is awful due to itchy burning eyes and a sneezy, sometimes congested nose.

I know there are others out there that share my odd fascination with antiquated writing implements like fountain pens -
I have several, and these few are very balky and temperamental.  There are a few like Pop's old Parker that should be balky, but work like a dream.
Then there are these that Matt made for me - and they are so very temperamental.
The worst, though, are the two most expensive Waterman pens I own.  I didn't even get them out tonight to try to coax them into writing.  Didn't feel up to the fight.
All the pens Matt made for me will write pretty well once properly started, but some are scratchy.  Some flow surprisingly smoothly over the paper.
I have not done much inspired composition with any of the fountain pens.
They require attention and are a mechanical distraction when the muse is adamant about being heard.
Still, sometimes I like to get them out, and gather them around, make sure they are comfortable,
and listen to see if they have any stories for me.

That's about all from my alternately drippy and stuffy, sneezy and bubbly self tonight.

Fountain Pens in the Little Joys of Teaching mug.

Poems du Jour

Seasonal Weather
By C.K. Armistead
12/27/2015

That Vandal, Banshee wind
Charges down the plains
From the North
Roaring its displeasure
Rattling fences,
Overturning suburban trashcans
Making the steam rising
From the neighbor's heating vent
A ragged banner, flung violently
Southward,
As if issuing a challenge to Texas.

The sparrows huddle in the
Lee of the house
Popping out now and then
To steal seed from the feeder
And return to the shelter
Of the small evergreen shrub
Beneath my window.
Breathless in the face
Of the wind's onslaught.

And here I sit, behind double-paned windows
Cozy in my room, cup of hot tea
In my hand
And books to warm my soul
Insulated from
That howling Banshee's roar
Though I can feel it,
Yes I can.
An ache, a twinge of warning
In my joints, in my very bones.
Winter has arrived
In his noisy chariot
Behind his howling steeds.


Second Wave
By C.K. Armistead 12/27/15

Now Winter's most insidious minion,
Cold
Picks and pries and seeps his way
Into our homes, into our bones.
All our modern comforts cannot
Completely banish him.
He finds the loosely fitted window,
The poorly insulated wall,
The edge of an aging floorboard
And flings his icy darts at us
As we read, or rest.
At night, only the warmth
Of many blankets-
And our bodies -
Keeps him at bay.
But when you must get up,
He waits to nip at your toes,
And breathe chills down your neck.
There is a warmth in our hearts, though,
That can thwart him.
Love.
Thoughts of those we love
Can send warmth spreading
Outward from our hearts
And can stop Winter's true cold
From harming us.


Oklahoma: 12/27/15
C.K.Armistead

Grey
So dreary and dull
The Oklahoma sky that usually
Sparkles the bluest blue
Cold
So cold that the North wind comes
Screaming down the plains
Freezing the puddles
Trapping the fallen oak leaves there
Like flies in amber
Snow
Not pretty, not yet.
Just a hardscrabble
Central Oklahoma frosting
 So far-
of snow and fallen sleet
Dead grass, dry leaves
And bare branches
Still plain to see.

Pop's Pen
CK Armistead 12/27/15

Fountain pens are living things
Tools with a soul-
Closely associated
With the one who uses them
Many have I collected,
Some very fine
And a joy to use,
But this one,
This one is special.
It's been to War
And back.
It's written letters I've never read.
It has languished long years
Saved in a drawer
Unused.
Its song stilled.
I have inherited it,
Cleaned it,
Refilled it,
And given it a chance.
Now it sings for me
Helping me tell my stories
And remembering
My Pop for me
By the wear of its nib,
The wear on its body,
And the fine accuracy
 Of its point.