Friends Out Of The Ether

A couple of weeks ago
, I went to a Halloween party.  It was also a "club" meeting of sorts.  I got to meet two more of my online friends in person, and reconnect with two others.  That's the five of us in that picture, with me in the middle, evidently discovering something in Easy Street (the Hard Way) that I missed the first time.
Yes, we are some of the #Perlgirls.  We are all fans of Ron Perlman, and most of us have met him.  The fact that we have other interests in common, and that we have fun whenever we get together made this a very interesting weekend.

So much of social media is dismissed as being phony or shallow.  Well, some of it may well be, but sometimes you find real and wonderful friends there.  I have.  These ladies are dear to me, we've had long online chats, and now, in person chats.  We've laughed together, and pulled each other through sad times, too.  All because we found each other due to our mutual affection for a certain craggy faced actor with a warm, loving heart.

The trip was fun, but also a bit stressful.  My husband and I had a six hour drive to Austin for the party, and I-35 is VERY much under construction in many places along the way.  I am thankful my husband is such a good sport, and such a good driver  After all, these weren't HIS friends we were going to meet. He did enjoy himself though, and both of us met some really fun and interesting people at that party.

We have decided that while we think Austin is a beautiful city, we also find it to be one of the most confusing places we've ever been.  With all the road construction going on, it is VERY easy to get lost.  (At least for us.) The sad saga of us ending up at the wrong hotel the first time, and TWO long, frustrating treks through rush hour and construction congestion is best left at that.  It was probably my fault.  I probably touched the wrong address selection on Google Maps when offered the options. Everyone we met in Austin was friendly and pleasant, and even the crowds we encountered seemed good natured and easy going.

We had a nice trip home, once we got clear of the last big construction zone.  We made our traditional stop at the Davis CTS so we could buy some more Bedree chocolate.  (Also,  that must be the nicest, cleanest, friendliest travel center on all of I-35.)  Anytime we travel that far south on I-35, the CTS is a mandatory stop! As always, the familiar sights near home are always welcome after being away.  Perhaps it is because I hadn't been back home all that long after my last trip away before going on this one.
Most remarkable thing about my trip was that I traveled to another state for a whole week earlier this month with just my small carry-on bag and my purse.  For this trip, because it involved a costume party, I had my small carryon, my makeup case, a garment bag, my laptop bag, and two shopping bags.  When I have to get all dolled up, I need LOTS of backup! (Well, I AM over 50, and spackle, I mean makeup, takes up a lot of space.) Didn't need any makeup to go do yard work at my Mom's.

I've been letting this post marinate for awhile.  I knew I wasn't quite finished, that there was more I had to process and percolate before I could finish it. 
One big result of the preparation and completion of the costume for this trip is that I have started caring about my appearance again.  I had been being lazy, and truthfully, rather depressed about my aging self until this costume caused me to work with makeup again.  I have to make the time to put it on, and I have to take better care of my skin, but those are things I used to do all the time, I just gave up awhile back. 
Since meeting these ladies, and especially since reading Ron's book Easy Street (the Hard Way) , I have been conscious of all the things I stopped doing, and examining the REAL reason I stopped.  I didn't stop using makeup because I really decided I looked better without it, I stopped because I got lazy.  I decided it didn't MATTER how I looked, I didn't matter that much, nobody looked at me.  Did not even realize I had been thinking that way until reading Easy Street made me look at how I've been dealing with life. (Or rather NOT dealing with it.)  Since I've started this process, I've been more careful about choosing the things I do or don't do.  I have to clean out more stuff around here as part of all that.  Matt and I both need to cull out the junk that is cluttering up our lives (and our house!) 

I find that caring about my appearance gives me more confidence, I feel more capable.  I know it doesn't really change anything, but the psychological boost is real.  Working out and taking care of my body has been making big changes in how I feel about myself for more than a year now.  I have managed to lose and keep off about 25 pounds.  I lost more than 30, some crept back on, and I am in the process of losing it and keeping it off.  But this is the longest I have sustained a weight loss ever. 
I am stronger, have more stamina, can sing better (when my sinuses cooperate!) and I look better than I have in a long time!  I have less energy on the days I don't exercise, and I find it harder to fall asleep on those days, for some reason.

Last week some dear friends told me they'd seen a change in me over the last few years, especially since I started doing really well with the voice lessons.  Perhaps the fact that I had found something I could stick with, something I felt real joy doing, gave me more confidence.  I don't know.  Always before in my life, there would be something I would prepare for, and try to do, and fail at.  Singing became a source of hard work that paid off.  It is spilling over into other parts of my life now.  I am taking on more challenges at work, I am writing more, too.  Also, even five years ago, I probably wouldn't have made the trip to Dallas to meet Ron, let alone this trip to Austin to meet the other girls.  There just seems to be more of a willingness to do things and try things than I've ever had before.  I had become very risk-averse, and while I still wouldn't want to make any BIG changes, I at least have the courage to take the small steps.  I was frozen before.

So, thank you to Karen Smith-Pearson, my voice coach, for helping me find out that I DO have a voice, and that it is worth hearing.  Thanks to my long suffering husband Matthew, who has put up with all my fears, trepidations, and enthusiasms for more than 30 years now.  Thanks to the rest of the #Perlgirls, especially Mary, Kelly, Jana, Fi, and Mallory for helping me break out of my shell a bit. 
Thanks to the man himself, too.  The light you shed on this world reaches farther than you think, Mr. Perlman! 

The Owl Woman