Time for another gleaning from my writing journal. Some are poems, some are scenes, some just little bits of life's annoying nature.
May 29, 2017
By our celebrations
and cookouts today
Perhaps we really do
Show gratitude
To those who died
Defending our right
To speak freely,
Worship as we choose,
And pursue happiness.
We are only doing things
They would do
If they were still here
To enjoy them, too.
So let's raise our glasses
To absent friends
And relatives
And remember to appreciate
This freedom
Bought for us
At such a great price.
May 30, 2017
Chocolate chip shortbread is TOO good.
Gaining weight is far too easy.
Weariness is a companion that has become all too familiar.
June 4, 2017
Insomnia, thou art
Too familiar
A guest
Rather more
An intruder
These days.
Would that you
Be gone tonight-
Just pack your
Intrusive thoughts
And random aches
And pains
Into your
Well-worn
Case
And GO.
And don't come back.
Also
You can stop
With the traveling itches
And muscle twitches
And bathroom breaks
I am supposed to
Be sleeping
Not suffering.
Perhaps too much caffeine
Is your invitation
Or eating too late in
The evening
Or drinking too much water -
Or exercising too late -
I don't know.
I just want you gone.
Tomorrow
There will be bagels
Also
I will renew my driver's license
And I will attempt to eat
Less crap
And more healthy stuff.
June 7, 2017
If I want my blood pressure to go down,
I have to stop looking at anything to do with the current administration-
At least until somebody confirms he and all his minions are GONE.
Emotions are such a
Yo-yo right now.
Up and down
Hope and despair
Joy and sadness
Wish things would settle down
Out there in the world
So
They could also settle down
Here in my heart.
Wish I could finish my story
And get some more poetry
Written.
It's so hard to sit down and get anything written.
June 9, 2017
Strange how sometimes things you get for free
Can become favorite items.
For years we've used a citrus peeler I got as a freebie at a Tupperware party.
I am currently enamored of a stylus pen given out by a local business and given to me by a friend.
Strange how odd things can be so useful.
The teapot my mother used most (which I now own) was one she got free in a supermarket promotion.
Our one and only kitchen funnel was given to us as a promotional gift by our Fuller Brush man long ago and far away.
July 1, 2017
Behold-
The world's most
Neglected journal-
My most neglected art
My writing.
My singing is also much
Neglected lately.
Both deficits add
To the darkness
In my soul.
A project I've been
Sitting on for about a month -
Candy Wrapper Wisdom
From Dove Chocolates:
"Coin a new catchphrase."
"Build a bridge with chocolate."
"Give someone a compliment."
"Make all food finger food."
"Share something OFFline"
"Why not?"
"Lend an ear, and a chocolate."
If I want to use up
This journal
And be able to use
A new one
At the turn of the year-
I need to get busy
And write.
Too often
I sit
And stare
At a screen
Reading
Or watching
Other people's
Stories.
Time to justify all these pens
And the empty journals
Waiting to be used.
Today started out to be a not so good day
Recycle center closed until the 7th
Doughnut place was sold out.
Came to work, couple of stinky customer problems.
Got MY customer sorted-
Everybody else has been fine.
More and more every day
It looks like the Nazis who were elected last November
Are trying to dismantle our country.
I only hope God hears our prayers
And stops them.
July 4, 2017
New York
First known as
New Amsterdam
THE City
The Big Apple
Icon of America
For many.
Truly what we think of
When someone says
The Big City.
Last night we had Mother Nature's fireworks.
Thunder rattling the window,
Lightning's blinding flash
Tonight we have the man-made
Variety
Pretty, but nowhere near as impressive.
July 6, 2017
Summer afternoon
Hot
Steamy
Busy
The library is cool
So we have
LOTS of people
In here.
My personality type is supposed to like plans
Well, when I have something specific to do, or someplace to go,
I like a plan to follow.
As far as goals, long term planning, I suck at that.
I meander along with no over-riding purpose -
Just getting through each day as it comes.
I need to get myself and Matt more motivated
and set some goals -
Maybe using our trip to NYC in the spring as a motivator for financial as well as fitness goals-
My biggest issue is laziness and being too easily tempted by instant gratification as far as eating and spending go.
We need more planning.
I also need a bit more of a life goal than just surviving. We both need to have something to work toward---
----July 22, 2017----
Behold, a blank page.
Left unintenionally
in the midst of my writings.
So wrong to leave paper unused, as though my mind had suddenly gone mute.
It feels as though it does, sometimes.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with what must be processed - as though my intellect must sort through the input dump and weed out that which is itself poisonous, or which triggers toxic responses.
So often lately, dealing with my own body's betrayal I feel as though I will NEVER get all of this sorted and get my calm reasserted. Order escapes me.
Chaos seems to reign, at least inside my head.
And then phrases come
Like chants
Like prayers
Out of the maelstrom
And ask to be written down
For you have never left me alone in the dark before
You have always let me see your light
And by that light, the beauty of all that is -
You will not abandon me now, I know.
I have only to reach for
Your hand...
-------------
July 14, 2017 (back to normal order of entries)
In eleven days I go to have cataract and glaucoma surgery.
Never thought I'd be anxious to get a surgery done, but because of the type of glaucoma I have -
It's best to go quickly so I don't go blind.
The idea of the surgery kinda creeps me out, and the risks, though very small, are also real and scary.
The alternative is even scarier.
The changes will be hard to deal with in the short term, but in the end my vision may just be better, and I MAY only need reading glassed once we're all done. I will also, I hope, be less likely to have an acute attack and suddenly go blind. The drops I take will help this, too.
July 17, 2017
Just A Bunch Of Random Crap That Runs Through My Mind
(Wait. That sounds gross ...)
Things I Ponder In Odd Moments
(Much better.)
There seems to be a plague of mourning doves in Oklahoma.
Everywhere I go I see them. There's even one nesting in the rain gutters on the house.
Why do I run out of energy when I most need it?
How can I seem so calm when I am running around screaming on the inside?
Why are eye drops such a pain?
July 22, 2017
My love, why do you make simple tasks so difficult for me? Leaving things stuck on utensils and the sink, to dry into concrete I cannot easily remove? Why do you eat too much of the things you should not? Are you getting even with me for bringing those things here in the first place?
Well, the cheesecake filling was my fault. I needed it for the strawberry pie.
And perhaps making that pie was selfish - but I needed the happy memories of my Pop and Mom, and the sweetness and the process of making something good with my own hands. (While I still can, whispers that dark voice I've heard all too much of lately.)
I try for my own sake, and for the sake of those who must bear my company, to wrap myself in cheerfulness and positivity.
I do try to keep faith- as God has never yet let me down-
But oh, the darkness whispers terrible things to me. Things like I'll be PERMANENTLY in the dark, blind, helpless, no hope of independence , denied my reading, writing, colors, all my beauties save music.
Sometimes the darkness whispers that I'll just die- some unanticipated reaction to the anesthesia - and a few may mourn, but most won't notice, won't care, that I've gone.
I KNOW that to be a lie. I can FEEL the love that surrounds me, all the hearts I have cared for, who also care for mine. Those who love my humor, my words, my music, those who bless me by being my friends, by allowing me to share with them - those kind enough to see me and love me for all my quirks.
And YOU, my love. You most of all who love me enough to spar with me, grouse at me, annoy me, and know that I will not leave you. I will NEVER leave you by choice. I will be here for you. You need me. I know. I love you. For always.
Even Halloween and all its supposed traditional terrors had nothing on high summer in Oklahoma for epic creepiness.
The blast of hellish south winds on oppressive air, and the dry-bones rattle of cicadas everywhere.
Ghoulish messages sent and received on the restless, sullen air.
In the evenings, the space - ship song of those same insects whines into the barely receding heat. If you look, the season's only blessing, the tiny, intermittent galaxies of fireflies in the deepening dusk. But only if we leave the yard lights off.
There. That's the latest from the writing journal. Some stuff I really like in there, and some of the usual crap. This is how writing works. A lot like panning for gold. You get a whole bunch of sand, and a few bright gold nuggets.
Showing posts with label weariness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weariness. Show all posts
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Further Lenten Ruminations
2/28/16
This was written on my tablet during the sermon, right after Mother Susan almost mentioned the Holy Ghost in a scripture where it was not, in fact, mentioned. We all had a tiny giggle about it.
O Holy Spirit,
Who even in this
Solemn Season
Of Lent
Does still make
Thy Presence known
With bubbling laughter
And with joy.
So words are just images
for something far too large
to tame or make subject
to our inadequate imaginations.
All things in us that are good,
or useful
or in any way noble
are gifts of that joyful Spirit
Who moves where it will,
and blows joy and gifts of
understanding, mercy,
patience, and love
Into our very souls
If we will but receive them
To do the good works
The Spirit may inspire
Does give our very hearts
Strength.
They heal us, they give us
Yet more strength
To do yet more good
In this world.
2/29/16
Leap Day-
Leap of faith
Leap only after looking
Leap ahead,
Leapin' Lizards!
Didn't much want to muse on poetry this weekend, or today, really.
There is a story about the day I was born that they used to tell me, so I'd like to record it.
Better a few days late than never.
On the day I was born, my Mom had a regular appointment with her obstetrician. Since it was in the afternoon, my sister (13 at the time) went with her to help navigate. (Mom, we used to joke, could get lost in the back yard.) While at the appointment, the doctor informed her that she was in the very early stages of labor, and given that she was 36 (old to be having babies in those days), he wanted to take her to the hospital ASAP.
So, here's my 13 year old sister in the waiting room, having to get hold of Pop (no cell phones then) and have him come get them and take Mom to the hospital and her home. (Nobody under 18 allowed in Maternity waiting areas in those days.) Then, of course, Pop had to go back to the hospital. I don't know how they worked it out, perhaps our neighbor picked Pop up at work and took him to meet them at the doctor's office, and then took my sister home, I really don't know.
Must've been an interesting day for my family.
Evidently, I got stuck, and the doctor had to use forceps to get me out - I wasn't born until after 10 pm that night. Poor Mom. Both of us came through all right, though.
Ha! I've been an inconvenience to my family from the very beginning!
The very air holds magic, mystery, foreboding-
It is ripe with the tension of the coming storm.
Soon the lightning rips apart the sky
And the thunder roars at us
Like Doom itself
But quite often, this sound and fury
Doesn't mean much.
Not even much rain.
For all the portents
In the air.
3/1/16
And again, a blank page
The reading I was to do
Was not something I wanted
Today.
Today is hustle and bustle
Even though it's Tuesday -
Not Monday.
Still running all over
Too much to do
And never enough time.
Lots done,
But not everything
Never everything
The list looms
Eternally incomplete
3/2/16
More hurry and hope I got everything needful done. Last week was a blessing- a week out of time to do with as I wished - pretty much.
This week is back to obligations and schedules and wondering how on earth I ever
Had room in my head
For abstract thoughts
For images and dreams
When this all too concrete world
It seems
Is SO much with me.
A flash, a blink, caught in the corner of my eye
A flicker, and rumble,
And light tears apart the sky.
All's dry until
I get closer to home,
And then I notice the wet pavement
The occasional drop on the windshield
The calling cards of an early Spring storm.
3/6/16
On the 3rd, 4th, and 5th, I did not manage to get any writing done. I was off on the 3rd, we had a concert to attend that evening, so I took my comp day for Saturday, worked ALL DAY Friday to have enough hours, and then on Saturday, worked from 1 to 5, after having spent the better part of the morning cleaning the house. We had friends over, and so, there was no time to sit and write.
This day,
The wind blew
It blew clouds and
Shadows
All over town.
No rain or storms for us
Not today.
Just lost of wind
Loud,
Mournful,
Anguished, even.
Tugging at every
Loose item in the neighborhood.
Wanting our attention
Trying to tell us something.
Achy and weary
In every joint
But happy.
Worked hard
Got a lot done.
Ate well, but healthily.
There is work of the mind
To be done.
A story to tell
A story to share
But not yet.
It is still in the process
Of becoming.
Much planning,
Polishing,
And hoping
Yet to be done.
And my cozy bed
Looks far too tempting
On this night
When the wind
Continues to howl
Like a predator
On the prowl.
This was written on my tablet during the sermon, right after Mother Susan almost mentioned the Holy Ghost in a scripture where it was not, in fact, mentioned. We all had a tiny giggle about it.
O Holy Spirit,
Who even in this
Solemn Season
Of Lent
Does still make
Thy Presence known
With bubbling laughter
And with joy.
So words are just images
for something far too large
to tame or make subject
to our inadequate imaginations.
All things in us that are good,
or useful
or in any way noble
are gifts of that joyful Spirit
Who moves where it will,
and blows joy and gifts of
understanding, mercy,
patience, and love
Into our very souls
If we will but receive them
To do the good works
The Spirit may inspire
Does give our very hearts
Strength.
They heal us, they give us
Yet more strength
To do yet more good
In this world.
2/29/16
Leap Day-
Leap of faith
Leap only after looking
Leap ahead,
Leapin' Lizards!
Didn't much want to muse on poetry this weekend, or today, really.
There is a story about the day I was born that they used to tell me, so I'd like to record it.
Better a few days late than never.
On the day I was born, my Mom had a regular appointment with her obstetrician. Since it was in the afternoon, my sister (13 at the time) went with her to help navigate. (Mom, we used to joke, could get lost in the back yard.) While at the appointment, the doctor informed her that she was in the very early stages of labor, and given that she was 36 (old to be having babies in those days), he wanted to take her to the hospital ASAP.
So, here's my 13 year old sister in the waiting room, having to get hold of Pop (no cell phones then) and have him come get them and take Mom to the hospital and her home. (Nobody under 18 allowed in Maternity waiting areas in those days.) Then, of course, Pop had to go back to the hospital. I don't know how they worked it out, perhaps our neighbor picked Pop up at work and took him to meet them at the doctor's office, and then took my sister home, I really don't know.
Must've been an interesting day for my family.
Evidently, I got stuck, and the doctor had to use forceps to get me out - I wasn't born until after 10 pm that night. Poor Mom. Both of us came through all right, though.
Ha! I've been an inconvenience to my family from the very beginning!
The very air holds magic, mystery, foreboding-
It is ripe with the tension of the coming storm.
Soon the lightning rips apart the sky
And the thunder roars at us
Like Doom itself
But quite often, this sound and fury
Doesn't mean much.
Not even much rain.
For all the portents
In the air.
3/1/16
And again, a blank page
The reading I was to do
Was not something I wanted
Today.
Today is hustle and bustle
Even though it's Tuesday -
Not Monday.
Still running all over
Too much to do
And never enough time.
Lots done,
But not everything
Never everything
The list looms
Eternally incomplete
3/2/16
More hurry and hope I got everything needful done. Last week was a blessing- a week out of time to do with as I wished - pretty much.
This week is back to obligations and schedules and wondering how on earth I ever
Had room in my head
For abstract thoughts
For images and dreams
When this all too concrete world
It seems
Is SO much with me.
A flash, a blink, caught in the corner of my eye
A flicker, and rumble,
And light tears apart the sky.
All's dry until
I get closer to home,
And then I notice the wet pavement
The occasional drop on the windshield
The calling cards of an early Spring storm.
3/6/16
On the 3rd, 4th, and 5th, I did not manage to get any writing done. I was off on the 3rd, we had a concert to attend that evening, so I took my comp day for Saturday, worked ALL DAY Friday to have enough hours, and then on Saturday, worked from 1 to 5, after having spent the better part of the morning cleaning the house. We had friends over, and so, there was no time to sit and write.
This day,
The wind blew
It blew clouds and
Shadows
All over town.
No rain or storms for us
Not today.
Just lost of wind
Loud,
Mournful,
Anguished, even.
Tugging at every
Loose item in the neighborhood.
Wanting our attention
Trying to tell us something.
Achy and weary
In every joint
But happy.
Worked hard
Got a lot done.
Ate well, but healthily.
There is work of the mind
To be done.
A story to tell
A story to share
But not yet.
It is still in the process
Of becoming.
Much planning,
Polishing,
And hoping
Yet to be done.
And my cozy bed
Looks far too tempting
On this night
When the wind
Continues to howl
Like a predator
On the prowl.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
The "To Be Read" List
Reading is something I do a lot of. I read a variety of things, non fiction, cozy mysteries, Science Fiction, Fantasy, comedy. I have several books on the Nook that I have been trying to get around to finishing for a long time now.
The only explanation I can give is that I haven't felt like concentrating that hard on anything lately. I've read a lot of fan fiction online, and usually only short stories at that. I am partway through a mystery from an author that I really like. I usually fly right through the books, but this time I am going more slowly.
In the "To Be Read" or "Currently Reading" lists right now:
To Be Read:
Redshirts by John Scalzi
Widow's Tears by Susan Wittig Albert
The Violinist's Thumb by Sam Kean
A Friendly Game of Murder by J.J.Murphy
Help Thanks Wow by Anne Lamott
Death of Yesterday by M.C. Beaton
Sweet Tea Revenge by Laura Childs
The Blue Bells of Scotland by Laura Vosika
The Minstrel Boy by Laura Vosika
Shadow Show - various - Stories In Celebration of Ray Bradbury
Guy Noir - The Straight Skinny by Garrison Keillor
The "I'm reading a little at a time " list:
Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake by Anna Quindlen
Shakespeare's Sonnets and Poems
Currently Reading
(and trying to finish at least ONE.)
The Sound of Broken Glass by Deborah Crombie
The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean
The Mole People by Jennifer Toth
William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher
The Sound of Broken Glass is another of Ms. Crombie's excellent Gemma James/ Duncan Kincade mysteries. The plot so far is good and engaging. I just have not been able to concentrate on one book at a time lately.
The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean is a wonderful and somewhat whimsical look at the history of the Periodic Table and the elements thereon. The story behind the science is even more fascinating than the science. Taking this one in small bits in order to digest it properly. Been awhile since I have done serious reading.
The Mole People by Jennifer Toth. I started this one because it is about REAL people living in tunnels in New York. It is no fantasy, and these people have very difficult lives. True, these are the stories of people in tunnels near the surface, not deep ones like the world Below is supposed to be in Beauty and the Beast. It is interesting to read the stories of the homeless in this book. It is also difficult. Many of these people are addicts, or ill, or maybe just a bit insane. As much as it interests me, I can still only take bits at a time right now.
William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher is just plain silly fun. It is the first Star Wars movie - A New Hope- told in the style of one of Shakespeare's plays. It is very tongue in cheek, but true to the plot, and so far quite amusing. Don't know if I would find this treatment of my beloved Star Trek to be as funny, but maybe, if it was the right episode and done the right way. Star Trek has a lot more serious purpose to it than Star Wars ever did anyway.
My mind has refused to settle much at all in the last year or so. I do a lot of reading, but I keep switching around what I read. This is not typical of me at all. I usually start a book, especially a work of fiction, and just keep reading until I finish it. (And I sometimes can do that in just a day or two, depending on the book.) I have been working on The Mole People for about a year now.
I am hoping to discipline myself to get in the habit of reading at least a chapter a day of these four books until I get where I want to read a specific one first, and then just finish that one.
I have had no trouble reading Cleo Coyle's Coffeehouse Mysteries when the new ones come out, because those books just grab me and pull me right in from the beginning. Got Billionaire Blend on preorder so I can read it as soon as it comes out.
Just putting all this here, in writing, so I can hold myself accountable for doing the reading I really WANT to do. My girlfriends say my lack of concentration is related to my time of life, and exacerbated by the recent tornadoes, but I think it's just a phase I go through every now and then. After several years of intense reading of book after book, my mind demands a vacation. Happened right after college. I got a degree in Liberal Studies, which meant I took a lot of literature classes, and that my history classes all involved a lot of reading. So did sociology and psychology. After I finished that very intense five year degree with teaching credential, I was tired of reading very dense material for meaning and insights. I stopped reading so much, and once again read fan fiction or other short stories for a long time before my brain was ready to read anything long or intense again.
I am hoping to write coherent reviews of the books I am reading as I finish them. I will endeavor to put those reviews on this blog.
Back to The Sound Of Broken Glass
As Ever,
Katie
The only explanation I can give is that I haven't felt like concentrating that hard on anything lately. I've read a lot of fan fiction online, and usually only short stories at that. I am partway through a mystery from an author that I really like. I usually fly right through the books, but this time I am going more slowly.
In the "To Be Read" or "Currently Reading" lists right now:
To Be Read:
Redshirts by John Scalzi
Widow's Tears by Susan Wittig Albert
The Violinist's Thumb by Sam Kean
A Friendly Game of Murder by J.J.Murphy
Help Thanks Wow by Anne Lamott
Death of Yesterday by M.C. Beaton
Sweet Tea Revenge by Laura Childs
The Blue Bells of Scotland by Laura Vosika
The Minstrel Boy by Laura Vosika
Shadow Show - various - Stories In Celebration of Ray Bradbury
Guy Noir - The Straight Skinny by Garrison Keillor
The "I'm reading a little at a time " list:
Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake by Anna Quindlen
Shakespeare's Sonnets and Poems
Currently Reading
(and trying to finish at least ONE.)
The Sound of Broken Glass by Deborah Crombie
The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean
The Mole People by Jennifer Toth
William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher
The Sound of Broken Glass is another of Ms. Crombie's excellent Gemma James/ Duncan Kincade mysteries. The plot so far is good and engaging. I just have not been able to concentrate on one book at a time lately.
The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean is a wonderful and somewhat whimsical look at the history of the Periodic Table and the elements thereon. The story behind the science is even more fascinating than the science. Taking this one in small bits in order to digest it properly. Been awhile since I have done serious reading.
The Mole People by Jennifer Toth. I started this one because it is about REAL people living in tunnels in New York. It is no fantasy, and these people have very difficult lives. True, these are the stories of people in tunnels near the surface, not deep ones like the world Below is supposed to be in Beauty and the Beast. It is interesting to read the stories of the homeless in this book. It is also difficult. Many of these people are addicts, or ill, or maybe just a bit insane. As much as it interests me, I can still only take bits at a time right now.
William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher is just plain silly fun. It is the first Star Wars movie - A New Hope- told in the style of one of Shakespeare's plays. It is very tongue in cheek, but true to the plot, and so far quite amusing. Don't know if I would find this treatment of my beloved Star Trek to be as funny, but maybe, if it was the right episode and done the right way. Star Trek has a lot more serious purpose to it than Star Wars ever did anyway.
My mind has refused to settle much at all in the last year or so. I do a lot of reading, but I keep switching around what I read. This is not typical of me at all. I usually start a book, especially a work of fiction, and just keep reading until I finish it. (And I sometimes can do that in just a day or two, depending on the book.) I have been working on The Mole People for about a year now.
I am hoping to discipline myself to get in the habit of reading at least a chapter a day of these four books until I get where I want to read a specific one first, and then just finish that one.
I have had no trouble reading Cleo Coyle's Coffeehouse Mysteries when the new ones come out, because those books just grab me and pull me right in from the beginning. Got Billionaire Blend on preorder so I can read it as soon as it comes out.
Just putting all this here, in writing, so I can hold myself accountable for doing the reading I really WANT to do. My girlfriends say my lack of concentration is related to my time of life, and exacerbated by the recent tornadoes, but I think it's just a phase I go through every now and then. After several years of intense reading of book after book, my mind demands a vacation. Happened right after college. I got a degree in Liberal Studies, which meant I took a lot of literature classes, and that my history classes all involved a lot of reading. So did sociology and psychology. After I finished that very intense five year degree with teaching credential, I was tired of reading very dense material for meaning and insights. I stopped reading so much, and once again read fan fiction or other short stories for a long time before my brain was ready to read anything long or intense again.
I am hoping to write coherent reviews of the books I am reading as I finish them. I will endeavor to put those reviews on this blog.
Back to The Sound Of Broken Glass
As Ever,
Katie
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