Random Ramblings

It occurred to me today as I sat at a table in the parish hall by myself, that a common childhood game has become a bit of a reality.  When I was a child, like many children, I had imaginary friends.  I could see them, communicate with them, but nobody around me could.  It came to me today, as I sat at the table with nobody nearby, that I was not alone. I had friends with me that the people in the room couldn't see.  Now, they aren't imaginary friends, they are quite real.  They weren't physically present, but I was communicating with them all the same, and nobody around me could see them, or talk to them.  They were on my smart phone.  On my Twitter feed. 
I have some pretty cool "imaginary" friends.  Some of them are even famous.  (And yes, they do converse with me once in a while.)  Best thing is that they are friends.  Fun to talk to, they tell great stories, they tell great jokes, they are there to listen and offer support when needed, too.  All of my "imaginary" friends are pretty cool, and I feel very lucky to have them in my life.  I have even met a few of them in real life, and a few are people I knew in real life before I found them on Twitter.
(More of my Facebook friends are friends in real life.)

Even though it has been a few months since my friends and I went to Dallas and met Ron Perlman at the Comic Con, it still seems surreal that it ever happened.  Still hard to believe that he recognized us, knew exactly who we were, and who was who among the three of us, even though he'd only ever "seen" us on Twitter. Still blows me away when I think about it.  Part of me is afraid it was a dream, and I am so very grateful for Kelly and Mary who were also there and can assure me it was real. 

Still wondering what the heck is going on with the weather.  Warm and sunny the last two days, and they are saying extremely cold windchills will greet us in the morning.  It's not weather, it's a freakin' meteorological yo-yo!  I wonder if ANY of my plants will survive.

Random poetry attack!! The words have shown up, and they demand to be let out NOW!!


The Winter's Return
By C.K. Armistead
Jan 26, 2014

And again it is coming
Out of the North
Cold and clawing,
Biting and chilling,
The wind of change.

Gone are the balmy airs
Sultry and Southern,
Gentle and warm,
Soothing and lulling
The calm before the storm.

Howling Down the plain
Not even bringing rain
Cold- hearted and savage
This wind comes
Bringing Winter back again.


Since I am supposed to shop tomorrow, I guess I better go fuss the budget and write the grocery list.
Ta-ta for now!

Birthday Thoughts

So the day when I am officially another year older has arrived.  I was afraid it would be a day I would struggle to be cheerful, because the local weather hyenas started howling this weekend about "blizzard conditions" in the metro today. (Well, there are monsoon conditions here so far today, maybe, but not one snowflake so far.  Northwest is another story!)   As someone who grew up in the land of sunshine, orange trees, droughts, smog, and traffic, the thought of a blizzard is depressing.  Being trapped in the house for long periods of time is not my idea of fun. ( Don't get me wrong, we have a nice house, and lots of things to keep us entertained, and we DO still enjoy each other's company, but I am somewhat claustrophobic.  The very idea of not being able to go outside if I feel like it gives me the willies!)

The day itself, however, has been full of blessings.  First off, no snow, just rain.  (We NEED rain, and I can drive in rain.)  I got out early and got all the groceries bought, and my allowance and gas money out of the bank.  The groceries came in under budget thanks to coupons, and putting them away didn't take too awfully long.  Stew is in the crock pot for a nice, cozy birthday dinner.  (With sourdough bread to toast in the broiler to go with it!)  All the cleaning is done, so now if we get stuck in the house, it will be in a fresh, clean, good-smelling house. 

An especially nice blessing is having my voice back to just about normal.  I have been so afraid it was gone for good, but the mid - range is back in place, and I am Go! for any and all singing that needs to be done!

There have been really special birthday wishes sent to me today.  I forget how many dear people that I care about also care about me.  My Facebook feed has been overflowing with loving good wishes.  Most of these are folks I have either met face to face, or have corresponded with for so long, that we feel like we've known each other forever.  There are family wishes in there, too.  MY big brother, and NOBODY else's, is the only of my siblings on Facebook, and he always greets me there, as well as sending a card.  I got a sweet post from one of my nieces - in- law, too.  One of my Facebook friends who is also on Twitter sent me a nice birthday tweet, and so did an actor/artist that I follow.  The icing on the birthday cake of this day though, was a nice, short, 'happy birthday' from a busy man that I admire.  It was the perfect topper for a day that turned out so much nicer than I was afraid it would.

Throughout the day were little reminders of how blessed and how precious this life is.  There were lots of nice people at the base today, from the gate guard to the cashier and the bagger at the commissary who were cheerful and helpful in spite of the yucky cold wet weather.  Those that looked at my ID card even wished me a happy birthday.  (Nice to know they actually look at the darn thing when I go to the trouble to have it out for them!)
My dear husband had a sweet little gift for me when he got home.  A while back, I had lamented that one pair of my full size sewing shears had just disappeared.  He replaced them today with an even nicer pair.  A small thing, perhaps, but so very thoughtful and attentive of him to remember my lamentation over "the good scissors".
There have been other "birthday presents" that we have bought together.  Like this fabulous new computer that I got right after Christmas because the old one up and died.  (It was only five years old, which is about 110 in computer years...) I got a Nook HD+ on Friday because the old Nook Color, while still working, is getting harder and harder to keep charged when using the Wi-Fi.  This new one will let me watch Netflix on the go on a screen that is much more watchable than my phone.  (Needs Wi-Fi connection, but that is cheaper than the data on my phone when it goes over the contract limit!)   I can also be environmentally responsible at church and download the service bulletin to the Nook HD+, and not have to use a paper bulletin.  (Quieter during the service, too!)  I have also acquired a Bodhran and an istructional dvd to help me learn to play it.  I intend to do so.  I've wanted to learn for awhile now.
So, this birthday is a LOT better than I feared it would be.  Thanks again to all those who have made it so.
All my Facbook friends and family, (you know who you are!)  Also, Anne Lower, Michael M. Ornstein, Ron Perlman, Mary Stolfa, Anna Cathy Wells, and Fiona.  (Rusty, I know you are sending good wishes, too, but I also know you are buried in job training! ;-) ) Phyllis C., commissary cashier extraordinaire, and Matthew Douglas Amistead, husband who goes above and beyond the call for me!  

On Being Detached From Reality

Since I was a snot factory this morning, I didn't feel like going to church and making everyone else just as uncomfortable as I am.  I stayed home.  (Actually, I went to the grocery store on the corner for a few minutes to restock my La Croix water and my Coke Zero.)  That accomplished, I spent most of the day reading or knitting while watching some TV shows on the computer.
Yup.  When I don't feel good, my life is EXTRA boring.
This whole weekend has felt like it was spent in another dimension or something.  The only normal thing that happened was that laundry got done.  (And I still have one load to fold and put away.)
The rest of the country was watching the Superbowl, I was reading tweets about it.  (Some of them extremely entertaining.)  Just my luck, the one year the game is decent, and I didn't watch.  Oh, well.  I wasn't able to focus on anything for that long at a time anyway.
Strange how dependent we become on our little routines.  Let something disrupt them, especially several of them, and we tend to come a bit unglued.  At least, people like me do.  Some of us like order in life, and when things get too chaotic, it becomes very difficult to function.  Then it takes awhile to get back into the routines again.  Or to establish new ones.
Right now, I'd just like to be able to re-establish the routine of breathing through my nose.  
Not looking like Rudolph would be a plus, too.  At least I don't sound like Tallulah.  But I still can't sing.  That is what really makes me mad.  I HATE not being able to sing.  (Especially when I have a lot of music to learn!)
The worst part of being ill is the fact that you can't always trust your brain.  Sometimes, it comes up with stuff that you just KNOW isn't right.  Like how I was pretty sure the Ravens would win the Super Bowl because I had Poe's poem stuck in my head for the last couple of weeks.  (And so the raven remains in my room.  No matter how much I implore.  No words can soothe him, no prayer remove him, so I must hear forever more.......Quoth the raven: "Nevermore")  Why would that poem make any difference?  It wouldn't.  My brain is not trustworthy today.
Add to that the fact that my brain wanders off without telling me that it's going or WHERE it's going.  I've been staring at the screen here for quite awhile, and my brain just now ambled back with an "Oh, sorry about that.  Guess I kind of left you hanging there...." That's one reason I could never memorize piano pieces.  My brain just gets bored and wanders off, leaving my fingers to make something up.  I can memorize something to sing, but the long arias are a real challenge.  I can't blame middle age (joke, only middle aged if I plan to live to be 106, and I don't) for this because it's been happening since I was a kid.  First piano recital when I was 7, and my teacher figured out that my brain just wasn't trustworthy with memorized piano music.
Here's hoping normal brain function and breathing return tomorrow.  I have to take the cat to the vet, and Tuesday, thanks be to God, I get my hair cut and colored.  It's been driving me NUTS.  I am hoping to feel almost human by then.  Off now to try and convince my nose that horizontal will work as an orientation in space.  Vertical isn't doing so hot, so maybe horizontal will work better.  Further hoping that I will be able to write something of some actual substance again soon.
The source of being indisposed
Is this stuffy, but drippy, awful nose.
To make it even worse, my dears.
The congestion has also plugged my ears.
Throat is scratchy, there's a little cough
It itches on the roof of my mouth/
My lips are chapped, my nose is sore
Thus quoth the raven: "Forevermore."

Why Be Interested In Celebrities?

It is an interesting question.  We seem to have a cult of fame in this country.  Or is it really infamy?  So many of the celebrities who get the most media coverage seem to be the ones who reveal themselves to be all too human, and sometimes, downright awful.
(Self-destructive at the very least.)
Why give a rat's you know what about any of these people?
Well, I don't, really, about the ones who seem to be in the media constantly, except to pray and wish better things for the ones who seem so bent on destroying themselves.  The celebrities I follow are people whose work and talent I admire.  People whose work has touched me, made me want to do better with my own abilities.  Sometimes it was a role they played that was inspirational, sometimes just their perseverance in continuing a career successfully after a very defining role.  Sometimes it is their musical gifts, their writing skills, that I admire.
There are some who feel almost like family, I've admired them for so long.  (Mr. Shatner, you and Mr. Nimoy, and Mr. Takei are among that group.  Star Trek has been part of my life for most of my life, and the characters you gave voice and form to are very dear to my heart.  It hurt when we lost Mr. Doohan, and Mr. Kelley.  The universe is a MUCH sadder place without Majel Barrett.  She was a truly lovely person, and I had the great privilege of meeting her once. )

There are those whose accomplishments you admire, and who let you down.  Lance Armstrong is one such.  He didn't need to WIN the Tour de France to be impressive and inspirational.  Just FINISHING that race after beating the kind of cancer he fought back from is astounding.  It saddens me that he felt he HAD to win, and that he further endangered his health by resorting to doping.  And denying the cheating for so long didn't help.  One hopes that the experience will truly humble him,and make him examine his motives and perhaps alter his behavior.  One hopes.  But knowing human nature, one remains a bit skeptical.

Some performers and authors and musicians become so ingrained in our culture that we truly feel they are part of us, and losing them is truly a great national sadness. Andy Grifith, Ernest Borgnine, they were regularly seen faces and familiar voices throughout the childhoods of many people my age.  It felt like losing a favorite relative, albeit a distant one.  We also lost Sherman Helmsley, an actor whose comic timing and expressive face gave us the gift of laughter.

 Nora Ephron was a great loss.  She wrote and directed many movies that touched us.  Perhaps losing a writer/director should grieve us more than the loss of an actor.  After all, the vision and words of such as they give us the characters for the actors to bring to life.  They are the foundation upon which other artists work and sometimes build beautiful and very enduring things.

We have lost musicians that gave us the soundtrack for our youth this past year.  Robin Gibb, Donna Summer, Davey Jones, and of course, Dick Clark, (whom I suspect may indeed have been a distant relative of mine, given that the men in my immediate family do not show their age, either).  Dick Clark was one of those who helped the talented find the attention they needed to build their careers.  He was not just a familiar face and voice to us, he was one responsible for helping along many of those we listened to through our younger years. 

How difficult it must be to deal with fame.  People who don't know the first thing about you feel like they know you.  It would be frightening.  I admire those who keep their equilibrium and keep their private lives to themselves.  The ones that can do that and still be appreciative and gracious to their fans are especially successful in my book.  To do so with a sense of humor is an added bonus. 
William Shatner does this very well.  His Twitter presence is legendary.  Nobody works that particular social medium as well as he does.  I do believe he writes most of those tweets himself.  He does appreciate his fans. And his sense of humor is wicked. ( And yes, we will still follow you anywhere, Captain, with pleasure, Sir.)

I also greatly admire the acting ability of Ron Perlman.  He first came to my notice as the actor who portrayed Vincent in the 1980's version of Beauty and the Beast.  He made Vincent a person, not simply a character.  To make such a fantastical being seem so very real took great talent, especially since he didn't have most of his face to work with given the extent of the makeup.  Many other roles he has done have presented the same challenge.  It is a mark of his ability as an actor that those roles were successful for him.  Following him on Twitter, I find that he also has quite a wicked sense of humor, but does not interact as much with the fans as Mr. Shatner does.  (He probably doesn't have the time.  I suspect Mr. Shatner doesn't sleep much.) 

All this is by way of saying that those who achieve fame, to whatever degree, in this society are just human beings like the rest of us.  They are in most cases more talented than the rest of us, and so they share those gifts, but some are just outrageous people who seem bent on destroying themselves in public.  What does it say about us that so many of the self-destructive get so much more attention than the truly talented and constructive?  Many celebrities I follow on Twitter tweet things in support of charities that are dear to them.  They use their fame to a constructive purpose, to help others.  How many of the infamous can say they have done anything like that, except  serving as an example of what NOT to do...
Just my musings on the subject.  My 2 cents, if you will, and probably not worth that much.

More New Year Stuff and Thoughts on Connectedness

So, one of the last things that happened in the old year was that my faithful desktop computer started having the unfortunate habit of rebooting itself without warning.  (Often in the middle of a project.)  I have been using my laptop (also not a spring chicken) for most of my writing and social networking, but the keyboard drives me nuts, and I couldn't really get decent video or sound on either machine.  SO, I am now typing this on my brand-new, super deluxe desktop unit.  It is a Toshiba, an all in one with all the important hardware in the monitor itself.  It is a touch screen, but I have the wireless keyboard, (one of the best I have ever used) and the wireless mouse.  It comes with a top quality dvd player and great sound.  (It even has a remote control so I can watch my dvds from the comfy chair instead of the almost comfy desk chair.  It is much easier to knit in the comfy chair. ) I have hope that the new computer will make me more likely to write in this blog, because it makes it much more pleasant to do so, but given my history, I will not hold my breath.

The other ongoing new thing is my attempt to use Twitter.  I have successfully set up an account, and I have about 6 followers, about half of which are trying to sell me something.  I "follow" a lot of people, mostly celebrities whose work I admire because I want to know what new project is coming up that I might want to see/hear/read.  I have no idea if anything I mention these folks in ever gets to a place where they can see it.  I often feel like I am talking to  myself on Twitter.  (This blog is pretty much that way, too.  I don't think anybody much reads it but me.)  That's OK, though.  I was the youngest child by 12 years, so I spent a lot of time alone.  I am used to talking to myself.

I would like to apologize to those I may have unintentionally bombarded with posts trying to get a link and a few words to explain it to go out together earlier today.  Sheesh!  I am far from a technological incompetent, but some software makes me feel that way.  It is doubtful that Greg Francis or Ron Perlman will ever read my rambles here, but I AM sorry if my ineptitude made a nuisance of me.  That is the last thing I would wish to do.  All I was trying to do was help a friend, a screenwriter, who is part of a project that is eligible for a grant if they get enough "likes" for their video.  Anne Lower is very talented, and deserves to catch a break right now.  She has had successes, but I think this would mean a lot to her.  Here's a link to the project   As for my trying to help, you know what they say about good intentions...


OK, time for what I am SUPPOSED to be writing.
Walking yesterday morning and thinking about how the trees looked against the bright winter sky.  Like fine black fingers reaching toward the crystal blue sky.  The air was cold, crisp, and sweet.  That is one thing I like about Oklahoma.  Nowhere near as much crud in the air as there was in L.A. when I was growing up there.  You can hear yourself think walking around a small suburban neighborhood in Moore, Oklahoma.  There are noises, but in the mid-morning on a weekday, it is pretty quiet.  The only exception is when the stupid train decides to come through. There is one exception to the clear air.  Pollen.  (Thanks ever so much, Texas, for sharing all your cedar pollen with us.  I never had allergies before I moved to Oklahoma.  I think maybe the smog killed the pollen in L.A., but I can't be sure... I left in '89.) 
ANYWAY, as I was walking, I was thinking about how connected I seem to be to the community here.  I work in the public library here in Moore, and though this is a large suburb, it still feels like a small town.  Whenever I go out to the store, the gas station, the movie theater, (and we have a FABULOUS one The Moore Warren) I see library customers or coworkers.  I see members of the church I attend at my library, even though the church is in downtown Oklahoma City, 10 miles away.  St. Paul's Episcopal Cathedral
We here in Central Oklahoma have been through a lot of tough times together in the almost 20 years I've lived here.  The Murrah Bombing - see the memorial website - our church suffered 8 million dollars worth of damage, too.  The May 3rd , 1999 tornado- Link to NOAA here -tore apart many lives here in Moore, and we lost quite a few library materials, but that was the least of our problems.  In all these cases, people here responded with care and help for their neighbors in need.  They also went to the government asking for help.  This is what made me SO ASHAMED of our Oklahoma delegation to Congress when they refused to support aid for the victims of Hurricane Sandy.  What horrendous hypocrisy.   Just because they want to stamp their little feets and say they said "NO" to more government spending.  Idiots!  I am proud to say that I did not vote for ANY of them, where I had the chance, I voted for their opponents.   It is difficult sometimes to be an educated and thinking person in Oklahoma, especially so if one must interact with the general public and remain civil.  For the most part, though, folks here are extremely nice, and will not try to force their opinions and beliefs on you.  The exceptions seem to run for office.  Unfortunately, they often win.
All of these thoughts led me to the conclusion that the connection must reach beyond our town and our state, it must reach out to the whole country , and beyond that, to the world.  We must do a better job of living those fine principles we claim to cherish.  EVERYONE ON THE PLANET is our neighbor, and Christians, Jesus told us in no uncertain terms that we must love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our mind, and with all our spirit, AND OUR NEIGHBOR AS OURSELVES.  "On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."  Well, this year I am going to try and reach out to more of my neighbors like the victims of Sandy.  I sent a donation to www.statenstrong.com, I posted the link and asked friends to help both on Facebook and on Twitter.   I talked to people at work about it.   The harder part of loving my neighbor will be to be tolerant and kind even to those who behave with intolerance and unkindness.  Maybe an example is what they need.  Everyone needs to be loved. 
Please, if you happen to read this, go to StatenStrong and see what they are doing.  Maybe send a little donation.  Also, look around your own community, and maybe beyond, and see what you can do to make the connections a little better by helping, or even just spreading the word that help is needed.  It's one of my resolutions this year.