Brain Fog

When one is ill, or even just a bit run down, one's brain tends to go on little vacations.  You find yourself standing in a room wondering why you came in, you stop in the middle of a sentence wondering what on earth you were going to say next.  You get grouchy at people who expect you to pay attention to what they say and respond in an intelligent manner.  Well, at least, that is what happens to me. 
I am sure my husband and colleagues would like to slap me about now.  I am sure I am VERY annoying with my constant snuffling, and my tendency to stop and say "wait, What?"  all the time. 
This run down and fuzzed out feeling is getting a bit better, but if I don't get a better night's sleep soon, it won't get better, but much worse. 

Every time I try to lie down and sleep, my  nose clogs up.  First one side, then the other.  I have to keep turning over in order to breathe.  If I sleep on my back, I will snore, and my throat will get sore and dried out.  So, lie on one side, flip.  Lie on the other side, flip, for at least 45 minutes after I get into bed.  Medications do not help.  Once I get to sleep, I'm OK.  Poor husband doesn't get a whole lot of sleep that way, either. 

At least I am no longer this guy:  Snot, the Slimer Of Worlds.

Those few days were the worst.  Feeling like a walking slime factory.  Ugh.  Wishing I had a bell to ring so I could warn  others to "Beware the Plague!"

I still have my stuffy moments off and on, and I begin to wonder if I'll EVER return to normal.  

The worst part of all this is that the brain fog is not necessarily because of my cold or lack of sleep.  (Well, maybe lack of sleep plays into it as "women of a certain age" have hot flashes which wake us up at night and disturb our sleep.)  I often have days where I just can't concentrate.  Can't get motivated.  Exercise often helps, as it gets everything moving, including my brain.  

There are so many things I SHOULD be reading, writing, making, leaning, but I just can't get myself going.  On those days, I sit and read what I can, and try not to snack.  Snacking is bad.  Makes the weight come back. The weight is dangerous, because if it comes back, my health will deteriorate.  All my good numbers will go bad.  

This is what I feel like on my "meh" days.

Since it is almost 11 pm, and I have to get up and go to church tomorrow, I guess I had better go and try to get some actual sleep.  After I take more antihistamine. And maybe a decongestant.  AND some asprin...

Good night!

On Being Detached From Reality

Since I was a snot factory this morning, I didn't feel like going to church and making everyone else just as uncomfortable as I am.  I stayed home.  (Actually, I went to the grocery store on the corner for a few minutes to restock my La Croix water and my Coke Zero.)  That accomplished, I spent most of the day reading or knitting while watching some TV shows on the computer.
Yup.  When I don't feel good, my life is EXTRA boring.
This whole weekend has felt like it was spent in another dimension or something.  The only normal thing that happened was that laundry got done.  (And I still have one load to fold and put away.)
The rest of the country was watching the Superbowl, I was reading tweets about it.  (Some of them extremely entertaining.)  Just my luck, the one year the game is decent, and I didn't watch.  Oh, well.  I wasn't able to focus on anything for that long at a time anyway.
Strange how dependent we become on our little routines.  Let something disrupt them, especially several of them, and we tend to come a bit unglued.  At least, people like me do.  Some of us like order in life, and when things get too chaotic, it becomes very difficult to function.  Then it takes awhile to get back into the routines again.  Or to establish new ones.
Right now, I'd just like to be able to re-establish the routine of breathing through my nose.  
Not looking like Rudolph would be a plus, too.  At least I don't sound like Tallulah.  But I still can't sing.  That is what really makes me mad.  I HATE not being able to sing.  (Especially when I have a lot of music to learn!)
The worst part of being ill is the fact that you can't always trust your brain.  Sometimes, it comes up with stuff that you just KNOW isn't right.  Like how I was pretty sure the Ravens would win the Super Bowl because I had Poe's poem stuck in my head for the last couple of weeks.  (And so the raven remains in my room.  No matter how much I implore.  No words can soothe him, no prayer remove him, so I must hear forever more.......Quoth the raven: "Nevermore")  Why would that poem make any difference?  It wouldn't.  My brain is not trustworthy today.
Add to that the fact that my brain wanders off without telling me that it's going or WHERE it's going.  I've been staring at the screen here for quite awhile, and my brain just now ambled back with an "Oh, sorry about that.  Guess I kind of left you hanging there...." That's one reason I could never memorize piano pieces.  My brain just gets bored and wanders off, leaving my fingers to make something up.  I can memorize something to sing, but the long arias are a real challenge.  I can't blame middle age (joke, only middle aged if I plan to live to be 106, and I don't) for this because it's been happening since I was a kid.  First piano recital when I was 7, and my teacher figured out that my brain just wasn't trustworthy with memorized piano music.
Here's hoping normal brain function and breathing return tomorrow.  I have to take the cat to the vet, and Tuesday, thanks be to God, I get my hair cut and colored.  It's been driving me NUTS.  I am hoping to feel almost human by then.  Off now to try and convince my nose that horizontal will work as an orientation in space.  Vertical isn't doing so hot, so maybe horizontal will work better.  Further hoping that I will be able to write something of some actual substance again soon.
The source of being indisposed
Is this stuffy, but drippy, awful nose.
To make it even worse, my dears.
The congestion has also plugged my ears.
Throat is scratchy, there's a little cough
It itches on the roof of my mouth/
My lips are chapped, my nose is sore
Thus quoth the raven: "Forevermore."