Warning: Poetry Again

This Father's Day
By Carolyn Kay Armistead
June 15, 2014

I was his baby girl
The one he worried about
I faced a different world
Than the one in which he fought.

He pushed me
As much as he could,
To get out and see
To make a difference
In my world.

He never really told me
But I know he was proud
Of me, and my abilities
Of the life I chose to live
Not an easy one,
But the best one for me.

He left us much too soon.
An accident, and he was taken
The man I was sure had
Hung the moon.
The man whose passion for learning
Pushed me to study and read
And teach.

Mom gave me the folded flag
That had been on his coffin.
Because he was a vet.
No way she could know
How the sight of that flag
Could make my blood run cold.
Because every military wife
Dreads being given a flag to hold
When she'd much rather have
The man who served it with pride.

 Pop survived his service,
And thankfully,
So did my husband survive his.
I have a lot more than a flag
To remember Pop by.
Though still I miss him
As years go by
It gets easier to remember him
And smile
For all the good times he made sure
We had
For the love he gave his children
Will never, ever die.

Old Songs

By Carolyn Kay Armistead
June 15, 2014

Music and memory
So tied together
Melodies are haunting
Because they make you remember
Times and places
People you once knew
The way you used to be
And the things you used to do.
Some songs can make me feel
Like a teen again
Bring back those heady days
Of high school
Hanging out with my friends
So easily
With just a melody
A lyric
Remember...
Some songs bring back childhood
And watching my Mom
Try to dance
Around the house while she was cleaning
With Sinatra
Or Bing
Or the Big Bands
On the stereo.
Remember...
Old Abba songs
Bring back the magic
Of long talks
With Matthew
When we were both
So young and so in love.
Yes, I remember.
 Ah, such memories.
Such treasure
All to be found
In a song.



The Book Sorter Song
By C.K.Armistead 6/15/2014

Book comes in
Door comes down
For a while,
Nothing.
THEN
Down the belt,
Around the corner,
Into the bin
It belongs in.
Even before
It hits the bin
The next book
Has rolled in.
Starts its journey,
Finds its way,
And of course
Another
Is already waiting.
All goes well
Books moving along
As we try to keep up
Sorting onto carts
From the bins,
Listening to
The sorter's song.
Then,
It stops dead
Oh, dread.
The light
For some unknown reason
Is red.
We check, we reset,
We cross our fingers
And pray,
The computer restarts
The belts do their dance
And before long
Once again
We're humming along
Singing the sorter's song.



Elusive Words

C. K. Armistead
6/15/14

Barge around in my head
Keep me from thinking straight
Or sleeping
Or reading
Yet
Will NOT get out on the page.
You elude me.
Babbling on when I have no way
To catch you,
Put you on paper
Or on screen
Then disc
And thus keep you.
Somehow
You seek to avoid capture
As if fearing
Servitude
As if you wouldn't
 Still be words
With something to say
As if by getting you down
And in order
I wouldn't be giving you
A voice
A chance to be heard
Somewhere besides
The inside of my skull.
So please
Now that I am here
Where I can save you
Please,
Words?
Come out
And play.


All of these poems have been written this evening, over the course of an hour or two.  These are really just my way of stretching the writing muscles, of hoping to coax the words out.  I know they are not polished and completely finished.  They may never be.  But this is how poetry is sometimes.
Not very lyric, not always neat, not even always rhyming.  A lot like life.  A bit messy, but in its own way, beautiful.

A Few More Poems...

Promises, Promises
By C.K. Armistead
June 2014
(For Michael O., because he loved it so)

Early Spring is a lovely promise.
New shoots,
Young leaves,
Tender blooms.

But early Summer
Is a promise fulfilled
Thick, green grass,
Deep, dappled shade,
Beautiful blossoms.



Cloud Fleet
C.K. Armistead
June, 2014

 After their midnight Battle
Filled with cannons of thunder
And bomb bursts of lightening
With fusillades  of water
That drenched the thirsty land
 All day Nature's vast armada
Has sailed past
Giving teasing glimpses
Of ocean-blue sky
Between the great grey ships
Casting shadow patterns
On the sparkling land.
 Perhaps their majesty
We should heed
As a reminder this day
That we live perpetually
Beneath Nature's
Daunting sway.


Little Makeshift Girl
By C. K. Armistead
June 2014

Just a makeshift girl
Good enough to pass the time
Until you find
The one you really want.
Forlorn lonely girl
Knows she isn't really
In anybody's heart.
She tries not to mind
But when no one's around
The makeshift girl
Falls apart
Can't make do
With part-times and
Promises forever
With almost-love
And not-quite-right
She cries herself to sleep
Most nights.
But somewhere
There's a love
Just for her
Even though she doesn't know it.
Hang on, makeshift girl,
Don't blow it
He'll soon come 'round
And then you'll know it
You deserve a love
All your own.


Compton 90221

By C.K. Armistead
June, 2014

Once, it was a good place.
We had block parties
Lots of different colored faces
Having fun
Sharing food and laughter.
And then the others came.
The ones with guns and cruel hate
Drove all the smiling ones
Away.
Left our block, our whole town,
Seedy and weedy
And full of bullet holes
And the profound sorrow
Of lost Hope.



Healing
By C.K.Armistead
June 2014

 More than a year
Has come and gone
Since the storms
Chewed up our town.
Still, many empty lots
Many businesses gone
Lives still rebuilding.
Yet,
Many homes are rebuilt.
Many new people have
Come to live in this little city
With the great big heart.
New plans are in place
To keep us all safe
As can be
If Nature decides
Again to be nasty.
Folks are still
Quick to smile
Glad to see their neighbors
And I am so proud
To be part of this
Community.

Small Miracles
By C. K. Armistead
June, 2014
For Butch and Walt

I hold in the palm of my hand
A gateway to knowledge
All the knowledge
Held in common on this planet.
With it, I can interact with people
On the other side of the country,
Or the world, or even
In orbit around it.
This little gizmo
So common that we
Take it for granted now
Was unimaginable
When I was a child.
My Pop said
Machines like this were
"impossible."
Not so
Said men like my brothers
Who built smaller,
More powerful circuits
And smaller, smarter
Machines
Men who read Asimov
And Bradbury
And dared to dream
Dreams.
Thank you for dreaming
And waking to build.
 

Now Is The Summer Of Our Discontent

Now is the summer of our discontent
We end each workday aching and spent
The loud gales of noisy childhood
Pierce our eardrums, chill our blood
The endless parade of picture books
That need sorting and critical looks
To ensure no damage has been done
Them on their journey's run.

But also a summer of renewed hope
As yes, we struggle to cope
Though to find ourselves needed,
Our help and services pleaded,
Helping young ones make a new start
Does much to soften the heart.
And seeing a child excited to read
Makes us all very glad indeed.


Summer is our busy time at the library.  We are THE place for kids to go for activities, books, fun, movies, and a place to cool off and relax for a bit. 
It is a good and glorious thing that our library is so important to our community, especially to our children. They have a safe place to come to, a place to learn on their own, meet their friends, or just fool around on the Internet for a little while.
We are also a resource for the entire community.  We have business services, and all sorts of computer classes for adults, book clubs, teen activities, many community groups have meetings in our meeting rooms, we're the happening place in town. 
It's true all year, but especially hectic in Summer.  The kids set goals and read books, or are read to by their parents, and so we have a lot more traffic both of people and of books in and out of the building.  Also, we have many special programs during the summer, and on program days (like today was), things can be pretty loud for a library.  I made six new library cards today in my two hour desk shift, and replaced several lost ones.  Summer is also the time for lots of that.  Many fines were paid, and since this is Fine Forgiveness week, some people actually got NO FINES on their very overdue items.  (It's all good, we get our stuff back, and they save some money.  )

This summer I am finding myself discontented because I have been having trouble losing any more weight, and indeed I have gained a few pounds.  I have about 14 pounds left to my goal.  I find it harder to stick to my diet because I want to eat more sugar to have more energy.  I also find it harder to work out as much as I should some days because it is so HOT outside.  Today went better, but last year, it seemed easier, seemed like the weight came off faster and easier, too.  Maybe it's just because I'm older.  Harder to get the old metabolism going fast enough.  Who knows?  Whatever the reason, it's bumming me out.  And I STILL haven't made it to the Farmer's Market yet this year.  Must try to go this Thursday during my "dinner" break.  It is, most conveniently, right next door to the library, in the Community Center parking lot.

Here's to Summer, a time that actually means more work for me, but a time that also allows us to spend more time in our gardens, relaxing and watching the birds and squirrels and rabbits that come by to visit our yard. 

Miscellaneaous Day

Today has been very miscellaneous.  A lot of my days are.  
Today was about cleaning the house in a hurry before work.
It was also about getting my walk in so I would at least have SOME exercise to my credit today.  Besides, it was beautiful out this morning.  My walk was as usual, a very uplifting experience.  This is just a typical middle-class neighborhood, maybe verging more on working class, but it's nice, most places well kept, and many have lovely gardens.  Many people wave to me and smile.  They see me all the time, after all.  Some even remember me from the library.
I have a large collection of music I listen to when I walk.  This week I added three volumes of Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits to the mix.  Now I have more to think about when I walk whenever one of his comes up on the mix. 

Work was busy, as we are only in the second official day of Summer Reading Sign Ups.  Lots of kids, parents, grandparents.  Lots of things checking in because this is also fine forgiveness week.  Lots of people paying off old fines to get a fresh start for Summer Reading Season.
Lots also coming in with Friends donations.  Guess it's also the beginning of Permanent Change of Station moves for the military, and a lot of the tornado victims are moving back into rebuilt homes.  So, a lot of very interesting books are coming in for the Friends to sell.  I found several today that appeal to my eclectic interests.  1,000 Places To See Before You Die , Office Haiku , Oxford Hachette French Dictionary , The New College Latin and English Dictionary , Street French , The Book of Courtly Love , and The Intellectual Devotional .  Earlier this month, I found a copy of  Star Trek Lives , a book about fandom and conventions and one fan's experience that I read years ago.  It's great fun.  Also found an antiquated little book called The Story Of Scotland , by F. Fraser Darling  It was sold at the Burns Cottage gift shop.  Beautiful illustrations. 
So, I have gained a few treasures this week, some I went in search of, and others that I happened upon. 

I have also had some fun conversations in the last few days.  Some on Twitter, some face to face. 
The door to the staff work area was left open yet again, and my desk area is right there.  Two of the photos Ron Perlman autographed for me are facing toward the door.  (The Beauty and the Beast photo, and the photo of Ron and me from Dallas Comic Con.)  A customer had  called in the door to see if one of her hold books had arrived yet, as it was not on the hold shelf, and I happened to be right there.  She smiled and said "I love your pictures.  Especially the top one." ( Beauty and the Beast photo)  She's another BATB fan.  Not really into fandom per se, and hadn't even tried to find Ron or Linda on social media.  I told her about the pages I know about. Told her there are great BATB fan sites out there if she hadn't found them yet.    I also told her that yes, Ron Perlman is a sweetheart to his fans.  Especially those of us who've been fans for  a long time.   She said that she's always heard that about him. 

The photos I display at work are copies, by the way.  The originals are safely framed and on the walls here in my office.  I like having the photos at work to remind me that dreams do come true! 
(Also gives my boss something to tease me about.  He calls my work area "The Perlman Shrine.")

The problem with miscellaneous days like this is that my mind wanders off in all sorts of odd directions, especially if I'm trying to write.  This is rather short, and rather disjointed, but today felt very short of time and very disjointed.  Lots of stuff done, time flying by. 
Many things I think about doing and never get around to.  At least tonight I am writing, and listening to some music I really like, getting ready to go read a bit more, perhaps. 

Thanks for reading.  I do seem to have a few of you who read pretty regularly. 

Spontaneous Day

Wind picks up
Birds hush.
Squirrel scurries off.
Sky gets really dark.
Distant rumbles get closer.
Now lightning appears!
Rain pummels the thirsty earth.
Then, almost as suddenly,
The wind dies off,
The birds recommence their scoldings,
The squirrel resumes his nut hunting,
The light returns,
Thunder trundles off,
And the lightning goes, too.
The rain gentles and stops.
Spring thundershower
In Oklahoma.


As I raced to get both yards mowed before the little thundershower today, I upset our resident Mallards from their afternoon snack.  They waddled away from me running their mouths the whole time.  I have now been cussed out in duck, to complete the experience of being cussed out in cat, squirrel, and in Schipperke.  (Our Dougal always muttered under his breath at me.  Sweet Mr. Bear never would, he was such a good dog.)  Strangely enough, the duck my mom had when she was teaching preschool never muttered at me.  Waddles knew I wasn't the one who picked out her name.  (The preschoolers did.) ('Course I probably would've named her Jemima, Potter fan that I am.  Beatrix Potter, that is, children, not Harry Potter, thought I adore those books, too.)

This day began feeling like yet another lazy day that I would struggle to get things done in, but it has turned out that I have accomplished most of what I had laid out for myself to do.  There are but a few things that I must work on before Tuesday, instead of most of them, which is what I feared would be the case. 

Time now to head for bed, try to sleep, and get up tomorrow and go sing at Church.

Reflections On A Busy Monday

I had a very busy day today.  Voice lesson, picking up refills at the pharmacy on base, grocery shopping, putting everything away, putting the trash out, cleaning the patio and porch furniture, watering the gardens and flowerbeds; just really busy.  But in a good way.
It occurred to me right about 3pm that almost a year ago, I was in the midst of another very busy Monday when the weather radio started going off in a big way.  I had just gotten the groceries all put away, in fact, when the tornado sirens here in Moore went off.  Away to the closet I went, with my extra pillows, all my flash drives,  all my electronic devices and my portable weather radio and good flashlight.  (First aid kit is already in there.  Had to evict the dirty clothes hamper and a bunch of my shoes, though. SOP for us in storm season.)
I was watching the feed from News 9 on my tablet, and on Twitter with a bunch of people,most of whom were wanting me to reassure them that I was all right.  It was surreal to hear that the storm was so close to my workplace and the homes of my friends, and was thankfully, NOT heading straight for our little subdivision.  Still, I knew I had likely lost a few favorite places,and I hoped and prayed I hadn't lost any friends.  (Close call, but my close friends were all ok, some of their houses weren't, but they were.)  Lost some library customers, and we lost our hospital.  It was a very scary day.
Part of what kept me sane in that closet was the "company" of concerned friends online.  Even a couple of celebrities that I had conversed with a bit tweeted that they were watching the news, and was I OK?  Was my house?  My dear friend in Australia, Fiona, was Direct Messaging me to please be safe and let her know what was happening.  I tried to send her minute by minute updates as I had information.  Soon as the all-clear sounded, I went out and looked around, and could report that we had no damage, and no debris in our yard.  The south side of town wasn't so lucky. 
It also took Matt five hours to get home from work because he was on the other side of the damage path.  He called me on my cell when he could, but he was locked down in a shelter at his workplace for most of the afternoon.
Needless to say, tomorrow is going to be a very emotional day here in Moore.  There's a remembrance ceremony and groundbreaking for the new medical center at 10 am.  Don't know if I'm going to go.  So many people's lives were turned upside down. Mine suffered only minor disruption, but I love this little city, and I love the people who live here and work here and make it a great place to be.  They hurt, I hurt.  I did what I could to help them by doing my bit to keep their library going on as usual.  I also offered any and all extra helps I could think of from sending FEMA faxes free (with boss's approval) and waiving fines when necessary, sometimes just giving them a pen because it was what they really needed right that second helped. 
It's so hard to know what to do or say sometimes, but sometimes, just being there and willing to listen, willing to help look for resources, willing to help, is enough. 
One year later, and the Warren Theatre has replaced all of its damaged neon, the hospital is a tent city, but breaking ground on a new facility tomorrow, many damaged business are rebuilt or rebuilding, many neighborhoods are still under reconstruction.  Some have moved into their rebuilt homes, others are still waiting.  Some haven't rebuilt at all.   
Whenever the weather looks iffy, people are anxious.  It'll be that way for awhile.  It was in '99 and in 2003.  We have new plans and procedures in place at the library to ensure patron and employee safety.  We have new portable weather radios in the house, and Matt has one at work.  I have a spare battery for my phone.  We still don't have a real storm shelter, but that costs more than we can afford to part with at the moment.  We need to have one Matt can get into and out of easily, and we don't really want one in the garage floor, where the gas pipes for water heater and dryer are so close, and the electrical box , and our cars are.  We shall just have to see how the next lottery for rebates goes, and how costs of an outdoor shelter go. 
This Monday was sunny, warm, and windy.  My allergies gave me a really bad time, and I didn't sit down once until time to eat dinner.  Still better than last year. 
Thanks to all my Twitter and Facebook friends for your long-distance support.  It meant a lot, it still does.  Thanks to all my fellow Moore-ons who keep on keeping on and make this little city a great place to be, in spite of the weather.

Catching Up

I have returned from the wilds of far Southern Alabama.  I got back a week ago Tuesday, but I have been busy getting a BUNCH of things done since then.
I was in Alabama to help celebrate my Mom's 90th birthday.  My sister, niece, and aunt conspired long-distance (sis and niece are in CA, aunt is in AL) to plan a surprise party for Mom.  All of us kids, AND my Uncle F.H. flew in for the occasion.  Mom had no idea my brothers or my uncle were coming.  We had a great time.  It was good to see everybody again, but I still felt like the dumb little kid tagging along when the other 3 were busy talking about stuff that happened long before I was born.  (Of course, MOST of my life happened after they moved out of the house.  I'm the youngest by 12 years.) 

Here's the four of us at Mom's.  Unfortunately, I was wearing my old clothes that I keep at Mom's since my other stuff was all on it's way back to Oklahoma, or waiting to be worn on the plane the next day.  I promise, I am NOT that fat.  Susie & Walt were wearing work clothes, too.  Butch never wears a shirt without a collar.  Never, ever saw him in one that I can remember.  At least he's lost the felt tip pen stuck between the buttons on his shirt.  Nobody tried to tickle me, either, so at least in that regard they have realized that I am a grown up. 

My uncle F.H. and his Ipad at Mom's party.  A common sight during this trip.

The Birthday Girl holding court.

Me messing with my phone camera at the party.

Mom and all the family at her party.  Cousin Carl is hiding behind his momma, my Aunt Margaret. Sue, mother of the world's greatest nephews, is next to me and in front of Walt (father of said nephews.)  We're still trying to figure out how Uncle F.H. got to be so tall.  This family tends to be on the short side, and here he is, taller than everybody!

The day after the party, we did yard work!  With Walt and Sue helping, Susie and I got the whole yard done in one day!  That NEVER happens!  I told her we gotta rent these people for October. 

Since I've been home, I've spent several days getting my OWN yard in order.  Lots of raised beds to clean out and plant, and lots of work to do on the front flower beds, too.  They are all done now, but I very much fear that as I type this, torrential rain may be flattening some of the new plants I put out.  It never fails.  I just can't win with gardening in Oklahoma.  I'll have to get up and assess the damage in the morning. 
Here are some pictures of the plants when I got done with all the hard work:

These are the plants before planting in the beds.

That's about all I have time for.  Gotta get off of here before the weather gets too emphatic.