Life Is Too Much With Us...

There never seems to be time to do the things I WANT to do.  Or THINK I want to do.  I end up reading in my "spare" time, or staring at social media. 
Don't get me wrong, I love to read, and I have learned many odd and useful things from books, and I have "met" many interesting and informative people on social media. 
There are things I would like to do, like writing, that don't get done, though.
The housework mostly gets done, my exercise gets done, but the writing... well...
Usually there is just the feeling that there isn't anything worthwhile to say.  Some days, life is just routine and rather drab.  There are small things, though, that shine brightly and ought to be savored in those days. 
Laughing with my husband, seeing a child's face light up at the library when they check out a book they love, laughing with my coworkers, secretly doing some small thing to make some one's day better, enjoying a really good meal, seeing the garden sparkle in the sunlight after a summer shower, birds singing, children laughing and playing in the sun, listening to music that makes me want to move, enjoying the fact that at my age I am still strong and healthy.
All good gifts, and all very much appreciated. 

The thoughtful turn of phrase just doesn't always come along these days.  There will be times when words will hound me until I get them on the page,and then there are the silent times, or the times when things are just whirling too fast to get from my brain to the page.  Also, writing is fun for me, not a job.  My actual job is a job, but also something of a holy calling.  Libraries, and the free access to information that they stand for, are very close to my heart.  Always have been.  I went into teaching because literacy is important to me.  Learning to read opens SO many doors.  The realities of life in the public schools were just TOO much stress for me.  I knew I'd burn out if I did it full time.  Even now, in a job I really love, and can handle well, I only work half time.  I am grateful for a husband who earns a good enough living that I can afford to do that.  Stress and I do NOT combine well.  I stop sleeping, and well, that way lies danger, Will Robinson! 

The things that are happening in the world today have me more worried about the future than I was even during the height of the Cold War.  (For those of you too young to remember it, many of us grew up with the thought in the back of our minds that certain annihilation was just around the corner in the form of a nuclear war.)  I was actually in Germany when the Wall fell.  It was a surreal moment.  Driving in to the base (Rhein-Main Air Base) and hearing on the radio that the Berlin Wall was coming down.  Then the upheaval in the Soviet Union.  Russia no longer the great big boogie man that it was.  (Though it's still a threat, make no mistake, if they want to, they can hurt us.)
Just that then there was pretty much a single threat.  (A HUGE one, but only one.)  Today, there are a thousand little threats that are all adding up against the peace and stability of our world.  Too many injustices, too much hate, too many extreme ideas, and too many selfish agendas with no compromise. 
In the face of all that, all any of us can really do is keep plugging away, making our little patch of the world brighter, more loving, more peaceful, more accepting of the different ones, and keep praying that it makes a difference when you add it all up.

So much for my rambling brain this evening.  Hope you haven't been bored out of your skull.  Thanks for reading!

Ah, Procrastination

Ah, procrastination, my old friend.
I've come to waste time with you again.
Before the glow of a computer screen
I surf the backwaters of Facebook memes.
But the To Do list
That is rolling
Through my brain
Won't contain
It's impatience
With my task avoidance.

There are SO many things I SHOULD be doing right now.  Three more little activities to blog about for work, and I'll be done with that training program.  Just can't stick with it.  One last load of clothes to tumble in the dryer and then fold,  but I'm avoiding them.  Maybe seven birthday cards for fellow staffers to make, and one for family, and I'm puttin' it off again.
Just got a bad case of the Lazies these days.  Don't know why.  Not bummed out about anything really, not feeling ill or achy, just  "meh" about a lot of things.

Part of the procrastination is useful, it makes me think about things a bit more before I set off to do them.  My subconscious chews on things and comes up with new ideas when I'm not looking.
I have little chores like copying my last voice lesson off the digital recorder and onto the computer, and charging the recorder, and finding a copy of the piece Karen wants me to look at, and there are books I should be reading, but, boy, if I can just sit here and veg out.  I will.  I read fan fiction.  (Yes, a dirty little secret of fandom, some fans write, and others read.  Some of it is really good, some is abysmal. )  That is my mental chewing gum.  For my Mom, it was romance novels that she called "chewing gum for the brain."  For me, it's fanfics.
There is also Facebook and Twitter.  Facebook for more pictures, funny stories, catching up with family.  Twitter for news of the shows, stars, writers, etc. and some very special friends that I keep up with.

There are some ongoing annoyances as well.  The repair of the slow leak in the water line that continues (and costs us money both on water and on the sewer rate adjustment for the coming year) is still in limbo waiting to hear back about whether the bid from the plumber was accepted, and which plumber will do the work.  Also ongoing annoyance about getting an appointment for a check up at the clinic. Have to call them, NO appointments showing on the online calendar.

On other topics, I had the opportunity (or should I say I had no choice) to sing the descant on the anthem in church today all by myself.  The other first soprano was absent.  If I may say so, I think I did a pretty good job.  May have gone a little under on the last verse, but overall, not bad.  I don't know why, but singing at church by myself makes me a LOT more nervous than singing all by myself at recital does.  Maybe because most of my fellow choristers are better singers than I , and I feel self- conscious.  At recital, I'm usually one of the more advanced students.

This past week at work, I had to move out of the "shared cubicle" that all of us part-timers use, and back to a work area built in near the door into the department.  One advantage, better display space for the Perlman pictures!  Main disadvantages:  Less actual work surface space, less storage, and MORE TRAFFIC!  (And lookie loos because people leave the door open into the work area as they come and go with carts.) 
Here are a couple of pictures of the "Perlman Gallery" or the "Perlman Shrine" , depending on whom you ask:

 This wall can be seen from the doorway.  Top certificate is my certificate of graduation from the Pioneer Library System Academy, meaning I completed all the required job training set for me at that time.

The picture on the right is next to the computer, only visible from the workspace itself, or the cubicles behind it.

There is also a wall that faces the back door, and it has a copy of the Hellboy picture signed for my young colleague who also uses this work area.  (And I think my Nerdy Dozen certificate for finishing the first round of web 2.0 training is on that wall, too.)

I have a talking Dalek stuffed toy that is on the shelf above the desk soon to be joined by a baby penguin and a mini minion figure.  There will also be a Clay Morrow Pop figure on the desk soon.

Gotta keep the fan love alive!

Here's the final wall of the "Perlman Gallery"  Darrin's HellBoy pic, and my Nerdy Dozen certificate.







This move was in preparation for a third 40-hour person coming to join our department.  I am hopeful that my superiors have chosen well, and that this person will blend well with our little band of crazy circulators.  (Hey, we may be nuts, but we have fun, and boy, do we get a lot of work done!)

Except me, at home, right now.  Not getting a whole lot done except writing this blog post.  Which is one of the things I've been meaning to do, just not one of the ones I really SHOULD be doing at this particular time.

As always, thanks for reading.  If you've made it this far, I salute you!  You are obviously one of the Bored and/or the Brave!