Good Friday

Just home from a very moving service at St. Paul's Cathedral, where I have been a member for about 20 years now.  My church home is always a source of blessing, peace, and instruction for me.
This time of year, sitting as close as we do to the shadow of the Murrah Building bombing,and the Memorial that is just down the street, Good Friday has a bit more emotional impact than usual.
After hearing Bishop Ed's sermon, I started hearing the first part of this poem in my head, over and over, telling me I needed to write when I got home.  So, here I am, and here it is.
I hope it speaks to some of you as these words spoke to me and asked to be written.

Good Friday Meditation
By C.K. Armistead
April 18, 2014


 Let me not forget
The price paid by  Love
For the love
Of imperfect me.
Let me not forget the cost
Of the grace I so often
Seem to take for granted.
Help me share the Love
That has been given to me
Not just when it is easy
But when it hurts
As well.
For Love did not
Abandon me
When loving me hurt
So very much.
Love stayed beside me
And watched through the night
And was still there at dawn.
Help me to be as steadfast
In loving those around me
As Love has been in
Loving me.
For Love is a gift
That is only truly accepted
In giving it away. 
When it is given,
It does not diminish,
As material gifts do,
Instead,
It increases,
And that gift of Love
Can light
The Entire World.

Whatever faith you hold to, or even if you have none, may you be blessed this day, and may Love find you, and surround you, and may you know that the God I love, who is called Love in John's letters in the New Testament; loves you, whether you think so or not.  Whether you believe or not, whether you care or not, whether you are straight or gay, male or female, no matter what your ethnic background or religious tradition, you are loved.  All who know Love will also love you, and welcome you. 
I constantly strive to show love as I have been loved.  It is not easy.  MANY fail to love, harden their hearts, some even hate in the name of the one whom we call Love.  Don't be dragged down by them.  Remember we are called to love, especially those of us who profess to believe in Jesus.   I sincerely apologize for the many times I fall  short of the calling to love, and I pray you forgive my lack, as I ask my God to strengthen my resolve to love, to show Love to others.

Peace,
Katie

Good Friday

One of the most sacred days of the year for Christians.  The day we are reminded of the cost of our behavior.  Or it should be.  So many who profess to be Christian ignore this day, treat it as just another day.  Easter becomes the sole focus, and too many churches support the "eggs and bunnies holiday."  I am not saying that we should ignore the secular traditions, but at least at church, the focus should be on the reason for the holiday.  People make mistakes.  Big ones.  They cause each other pain.  They cause their Creator pain.  In our faith tradition, our Creator decided that instead of wiping us out completely, He would offer us a chance to start over.  A sacrifice for the sorrows caused, and He provided the sacrifice of His own flesh. 

This faith should make a difference in our behavior.  Oh, yes, we are still human, we will still do things we should not, and fail to do things we should, but the fact that we know we are loved so deeply, so completely, should make a difference in our attitude toward life and the other people in it.  The knowledge that God loved us enough to provide us a way past the just consequences of our naturally awful behavior ought to make us more tolerant of others, more forgiving.  Sadly, these days, it seems to make many "Christians" smug, and INtolerant.  It makes them feel justified in their judgement on the behaviors of others that they disagree with.  Nowhere evident is the love that Jesus preached, nowhere seen the kindness that He displayed. 

A few churches DO practice what Jesus taught.  Even stuffy old staid institutions like the Episcopal Church.  They gladly serve the poor, welcome ALL into their churches, value the service and faith of all people who come in sincerity to worship.  Even in the Roman Church, these days, the new Pope is showing an astounding tendency to act more like Jesus than like the Pope.  He goes to the poor, the suffering.  He desires not to live in the posh surroundings his predecessors have enjoyed.  He reaches out in genuine love to those who need it.  Such an example is needed by all who call themselves Christian these days.  We live too much in the isolation of our modern world, too ready to judge others based on our little list of "appropriate" behaviors and beliefs. 

On this day, more than on all the others of the year, Christians, we must hear and OBEY the words our Lord said to us:  "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it:  Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."

Before we rejoice in the victory that is Easter, let us remember the cost of our salvation and what He who paid that cost actually asked us to do.  Difficult, isn't it?  So very hard to love our neighbors, especially when they might disagree with our particular take on things.  Hard for me to love those who seem to spread hate rather than love, but how else to make them see the Truth, than to meet their ugliness with the beauty of love?  It is a difficult thing to live as we are asked, as we should live, in order to see that all are included in the prosperity and joy of this life.  May God help all of us, no matter our faith, to find the love in our hearts, and to have the courage to share it.
Peace to you, and joy in this season.

Poems About St. Paul's

 A few days ago, I mentioned some poetry I had written about our cathedral family in the aftermath of the Murrah Bombing of April, 1995.  The majority of my writings were essays from that time, but for a couple of Christmases, I wrote poems. 
The first was written before the renovations to the cathedral itself were completed.  In it, I tried to convey the sense of our Christmas celebration while "wandering in the wilderness" of  Dean Willey Hall.  (Which was cramped and crowded for these larger celebrations, but had a magical air about it all the same.)





Christmas Eve
By Carolyn Kay Armistead, 1996

The scent of pine needles, incense, and candle wax fill the air.
There is much confusion about the processional, and just who goes where.
But the night is full of magic, wonder and joy
As our Christian family prepares once again to welcome the baby boy.

The baby boy who came into a world of uncertainty and pain,
Who understands how we feel, being in Dean Willey Hall again,
And not in our beautiful Cathedral, with its comfort and sacredness.
He knows how it feels to deal with hatred's harmful effects.

Well He knows our sorrow, our impatience and our pain
And yet He makes us glad to be together, even if in the Hall again.
For He was not born in a fancy palace, or a hospital clean and grand;
But in a lowly stable, with cows, sheep and shepherds close to hand.

If He could be content with a birthplace so quiet and humble;
Who are we to be unhappy with our lot and to grumble?
After all, we are safe and still together, and together we still can sing
The same joyful song of angels, and isn't that the most important thing?


This next was written about a night that was almost giddy in its joyfulness.  We were once again in our beautiful Cathedral, able to worship in the way we had been accustomed to.  There were many new faces with us that night, and some of them actually stuck around after Christmas!



A Cathedral Christmas
By Carolyn Kay Armistead
1998

Here we are again:
The faithful and the now and then,
Assembled once more with great joy
To welcome a special baby boy.

This time our Cathedral is restored
To give homage to the One adored;
Our family home again made new,
Through with the years of "making do."

A delight to all the senses it becomes,
With new organ to support our songs,
And finery restored to its original glory,
The better to illustrate the Gospel story.

So round His table again we gather,
Banished is the world and all its bother,
For we are family, loved and treasured;
A gift with value too great to be measured.

As into the cold, crisp night we go,
Our hearts remain with love aglow.
Each face we have seen, each voice is precious,
For in each is God's love for us reflected.

High altar at St. Paul's Episcopal Cathedral, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma



 This was written a few years later, as a reflection on the rather stark services we have every Good Friday.

 Good Friday

By Carolyn Kay Armistead
April, 2000

You taught us when we mourn
Not to wear ashes on our heads,
Not walk around filled with
Sorrow and with dread
But Lord, that was before;
Before they dragged you off
To die
Before the clouds
Stole the sunlight from the sky.
How can I not wear ashes on my head?
How can I not be filled with sorrow and with dread?
When it is my fault you are dead.
It was for me that they nailed you to that tree
It was my sin that took you away from me.



This last was written about five years ago, again a reflection on a service that is often very emotionally difficult to get through.  The music we sing, the way the church is stripped of all decoration, it all leaves us feeling the desolation, at least partially, that the disciples felt.


Good Friday thoughts 2008
By Carolyn Kay Armistead

Again the solemn ritual is done.
Again we read the painful lines
That tell how our salvation was won.

The dark church, the altar bare
Testify to the sadness in our hearts
For we drove our Savior there.

For love of us, the Innocent died
Because of us, Love made sacrifice
And all creation with us cried.

But today we know a secret thing
Those first believers did not.
We know the bells of Easter soon will ring

For Love has conquered even death!


Now, this one I have posted in this blog once before.  I wrote it as a reflection on a very beautiful service that is a tradition in our church.  Evensong is a lovely service, simple, musical, and peaceful.  The prayers are beautiful, and they are usually sung.  We were blessed at that time to have Canon Luke Back to officiate and sing for us.  Now that we have Dean Justin Lindstrom, who also has a wonderful singing voice, maybe we can have a Sunday evensong again sometime.


Evensong
Oct. 21, 2007

The day is fading in the West
Our weary souls and bodies long for rest
But to Your house, O Lord we come
To raise our voices in Evensong.
We sing Magnificat and Nunc Dimittis
And O Gracious Light
To ask that You, Lord, remain with us
Through the darkness of the night.


Music is a very large part of our experience at church.  The music we sing helps us worship.  It helps those in the congregation, and when I can't participate, I miss it a LOT.  So glad my singing voice as of today is more than 99% back, and by Sunday, it should be 100%.  (Also get another week to practice my solo audition for Master Chorale, thanks to inclement weather causing a rehearsal and auditions to be canceled until next week.)