First Sunday Of Advent

This Sunday is when our church starts preparing for Christmas.  Advent is the season of preparation for the coming of Christ.  It is to be a season of meditation and self-examination.  A season of quiet, not a season of conspicuous consumption. 
For us personally, it is a time of preparation, and is often more hectic than it should be.
The seasonal decorations trickle out over the four weeks of Advent here at our house.  The tree will usually come out in the second week.  The lights in the windows and some of the smaller decorations will come out sooner. 
This year, I do not think we are going to be doing a lot of shopping.  Our gifts to each other we have pretty much already exchanged, in the form of a trip we both enjoyed, and special things purchased when the opportunity was available.  Mostly, this season for us is a time to remember loved ones and the gift of joy that we have shared over the years.  Even our traditional foods will have to be modified a bit, since we are both more conscious of our health these days. Oh, there will be some excesses, but not as many as usual.
As this season progresses, I pray for our whole world that we find more peace and less violence, more love and less hate, more forgiveness, and less seeking for revenge.

May the Peace of the season be upon us all.

More Random Observations

The volume of the music in the library's Zumba class is directly proportional to how quiet the rest of the building is. The quieter we are, the louder they get!

People enjoy the Zumba class rather a lot, judging by the volume of their shouts during the class.

It only took 55 and a half years, but I'm finally happy with my hair.

My actual hair color now. No dye, no filters.

If you have more than two unfinished craft or needlework projects packed away, you have too darn many hobbies.

One really can have too many books.  Or is the problem really never enough bookshelves? Still pondering that one...

Sometimes, a nice cocktail at the end of the day is a very pleasant and relaxing thing.  The process of mixing it is part of the joy of the thing.

There are few things as pleasant in this life as good coffee, and something sweet to dunk in it.

The older I get, the creepier my hands look.  (Arthritis helps in this process.)

There are few things sexier than a man who is willing to do dishes.

My sinuses really are out to get me.

The likelyhood that nail polish will get chipped is directly proportional to the time it took to do the manicure.

The current manicure.  Base coat, color, glitter, and top coat.

The battery in the tablet will always run out in the middle of the best part of the story you are reading.

A small bottle of good quality single- malt Scotch Whisky is necessary for medicinal purposes.  (Such as feeling the incoming cold front in  your joints on a windy night.)

When it is really time I should be sleeping, I'm wide awake.

The capacity for hate and evil in humankind is a constant source of dismay to me.  Conversely, the amount of love and kindness I see pouring out in response to evil acts is a source of hope.  It shouldn't require a tragedy for us to pour our love and support out on a hurting world, though.  That should be evident every single day.

No matter how cold it is when you start your exercise walk in the morning, before you're halfway done, you'll still be sweaty, if you're doing it right!

Fall weather has truly arrived the day I finally put the heated mattress pad on the bed.

If I am rooting for a football team, they seem to do better if I don't watch the game...

Every single "holiday" can of Coke Zero I have had this year has said I should "Share a Coke Zero with a POLAR BEAR. " Every. Single. One.  Tell me, where do I find a Polar Bear that can drink Coke Zero?

Every single can in the 24 pack I just bought looks just like this.

The reason some of us really love to wear spandex workout wear is because it makes us feel like a superhero.  (Also, if you've lost as much weight as I have, it is excellent reward and motivation all rolled into one!)

Aren't these cool?

 

 

Some people will never understand about "personal space", no matter HOW many anti-harassment trainings they've been to. (Get outta my face, ok?)


It's always pleasant to find out that people assumed you are younger than you are. (Well, if you're as old as I am, it's pleasant!)

Some people get better looking as they age.  Really not fair to the rest of us. 

When you realize that someone who has a lot of fans actually knows who you are, and is glad to see you when you visit at a convention, it's still unbelievable.  (But it's great! )

Small acts of kindness eat away at the sadness and hopelessness so rampant in this world.  I am grateful both for the kind gestures others extend to me, and for the chance to be kind to others.

Some workplace break rooms really need the sampler someone hung in the school kitchen where I taught: "Your mother doesn't work here.  Please clean up your own mess."

I really do wonder if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about.

Those who think suggestive or vulgar language in song lyrics is a new thing really need to listen to a cd I own.  It's called the "Art of the Bawdy Song" , and is all about tunes from the 16th century, and perhaps before.

Sometimes, you just have to decide you're finished with something and call it good.  I'm calling this post good.

Rambling Thoughts On A Friday The 13th Evening...

So much tragedy everywhere on this all too tiny planet we call home.  So much of this tragedy made by our own greed and unwillingness to listen or even try to understand one another.
The events in Paris call forth loving messages of sympathy from many, dredge up bitter anger from some who feel their own tragedies are ignored.  The loss of ANY life is tragic.  Perhaps places like Paris get more notice because they are more present in the Western mind, more real, more recent.  It is unfortunate, but often true.  That does not mean we don't care about the losses in Syria, Iraq, Iran, any place plagued by unrest and war.  What does happen is that we become fatigued by so much information about tragedy in those places, and alas, we begin to EXPECT tragedy in those places.
The atrocities committed during any war or any terrorist act ANYWHERE are deplorable, and injure mankind.
Donne said it best:
" No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in makind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

We are all of us part of the same whole.  Some people really don't want to believe that, but it's true.  We are ONE race, the HUMAN race, and whether we like it or not, we're stuck with each other.
Those who would claim the Christian faith must remember that our Founder told us as much.  We have been instructed by Jesus Himself:
"Hear what our Lord Jesus Christ saith:
Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment  And the second is like unto it: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."
-from the Book Of Common Prayer, 1979, Holy Eucharist Rite I, page 324. Quote is from the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter22, verses 37-40

I find it continually baffling that so many of those who profess to be Christians forget these two commandments.  Assuredly, they ARE difficult.  To love God so profoundly is beyond the grasp of most of us, and as to loving our neighbors as we love ourselves, well, first we have to love ourselves, and most of us truly do not. We operate quite often out of our insecurities, our deep knowledge and fear and hate of our own faults.  Many times, we ENVY our neighbors, who to US seem to have it together far better than WE do, when in reality, they are JUST as insecure as we are.
It is well past time to start looking beyond our own hurts and insecurities, and seeing the wounded people that we ALL are, it is well past time to look with compassion, not pity, but in recognition of the hurts of others in light of our own hurts.
Every day, I know I fall short of this standard, every day I pray for grace to do better, for strength of will to surpass my own love of the status quo.  I see so many obviously trying to do good, to reach out in love.  We must all try, and we must shore each other up when the going gets rough.  No regard to belief system, or ethnicity, or any difference that truly IS no difference.  We are ALL human, we are all on this planet together, and we need each other.  ALL of us.  For our own sake, we need to remember that.
For those of us who are Christians, we must remember that Jesus basically told us as much in that passage about the Great commandments.  We are all children of God, loved by God, and we are responsible TO and FOR each other.  I don't think Jesus was making any distinctions about your neighbor's race, or religion, or anything else.  Your neighbor.  Your fellow human being, that person that maybe you don't really like, but you know what?  He's stuck on this planet with you, just the same as you're stuck with him.  Really not easy, that "loving your neighbor" stuff.  I know.  I fail at it every day.  Every time someone gets on my very last nerve, or says something completely stupid, racist and hateful in the media.  I don't love that particular neighbor very much at that point.  Perhaps I need to pray for them instead of call them nasty names in my head.  Might be better for me, and it might even improve them.  Worth a shot.  Tell you what, you pray, or think good thoughts, or whatever your particular belief system asks you to do, for me, and I'll do the same for you.  If all of us do it, maybe it really will work, and we really will improve.  Even a little bit would be good.

Another quote comes to mind when I think about this planet of ours, and our need to get along on it.  This one is from Star Trek.  (HEY, I'm a geek girl, remember?  I cut my teeth on Star Trek fandom.  Don't let that put you off, there's a REASON that show stuck with so many of us for so long.)

"KIRK: Give me your hand. Your hand. (she does) Now feel that. Human flesh against human flesh. We're the same. We share the same history, the same heritage, the same lives. We're tied together beyond any untying. Man or woman, it makes no difference. We're human. We couldn't escape from each other even if we wanted to. That's how you do it, Lieutenant. By remembering who and what you are. A bit of flesh and blood afloat in a universe without end. The only thing that's truly yours is the rest of humanity. That's where our duty lies."

Even if we believe that we do not share the same heritage or history, we really do.  We are all the product of living on this planet.  Everything that happens on this planet effects everything else on it.  We do not really live isolated from one another, as much as we might wish to believe sometimes. We need to remember that we are responsible to one another, and FOR one another.  
Sigh.  So difficult to do, but so essential.  There is no easy answer.  Humans are complicated, and we love to complicate things.  Doing what sounds simple is the hardest thing of all.
That's about all I have to say on that subject right now.

On to other things:

Today should be a day of happy celebration for a friend of mine.  It is the anniversary of her birth.  Yet this tragedy in Paris happened, and it has cast a pall on her happiness.  
I for one wish to celebrate the fact that she was born, and is still here on this earth.  She is a person who has a generous, loving heart and a fast wit, who has suffered many things, and yet still finds joy in life, who shares her light with all of us, even those she's never met face to face.  I know she loves me, and I love her like a baby sister, or a niece, someone close and treasured.  Even though we have never met in person.  
So, I hope that her birthday is still a day of joy for her, a day that she realizes that there are MANY of us out here who are very, very glad she was born, and that she loves us. 
Happy birthday , Fi.  Be well, and know that you are LOVED.
 

Clutter

There are all different sorts of clutter in our lives.  The visual clutter of the urban/suburban landscape, the auditory clutter of all the traffic, machinery, music, shouted cell phone conversations, and cat calls also present in those environments.
Then there's the clutter in our homes. Most of us, if we are honest, have WAY too much "stuff".  Stuff we hardly ever, or even NEVER use.  Clutter.
There's mental clutter-  all the thoughts that run over each other and plague you when you try to fall asleep, the endless "to do" lists, the things we fear we forgot, the worries that niggle at us.
For some of us, even our computers, phones, laptops and tablets are cluttered.  Poorly managed files, excessive apps, email that needs to be weeded out.

For me, the physical clutter is often frustrating, though some of it is things that comfort me just by being there.  The mental clutter gets to be so bothersome, I sometimes get out of bed and write things down so they'll stop plaguing me and let me fall asleep.  Now that our house has better insulation and better windows, we don't have as much auditory clutter invading our private space, but the train still makes itself heard. Sometimes, the PA system at the high school stadium does as well.

It is often hard to tackle physical clutter because the prospect is exhausting.  One doesn't want to get rid of something only to need it a month later.  One must become rather ruthless about it, in fact, and remind oneself that if the item hasn't been used in more than a year, it is taking up valuable space and not giving any benefit. Perhaps it needs to go to someone who WILL use it...
 However, this is difficult because we often have emotional attachments to our things, whether we should or not.  I haven't done any cross stitch embroidery in more than 10 years.  I have entire drawer full of supplies for it, though, that are STILL sitting there.  My eyesight isn't really good enough anymore to do cross stitch without a VERY strong light and a magnifier.  Must decide whether I will ever do any of it again or not.
There are books here that I have not consulted in a very long time, but I will not part with them.  They are old friends.  Anthologies of poetry, references, dictionaries, music theory books, even a volume or two of educational theory that are about 34 years old, and probably have come back into vogue, as theories do.
There is an entire file drawer full of fabric scraps and "fat quarters" that I used once for projects, and haven't touched since.  Knitting needles, crochet hooks, a variety of yarns, old photos, high school yearbooks, books I bought at the Friends' sale and haven't read yet, figurines of characters from movies and TV shows that I love, a whole collection of fountain pens, pencils, and art supplies, mugs, blank cds/dvds, a whole mug full of bookmarks, notecards, candles, just TONS of stuff, and that's just in my OFFICE. 
The kitchen is a major clutter collection.  There are cake pans I haven't used in years in one cupboard, at least FOUR sets of dishes, NOT counting the fine china (service for 16) that is in the dining room hutch, several collections of mixing bowls, a large pitcher full of wooden spoons, more cookware than we'll EVER use, and the usual small appliances that only get used rarely.
Let's not even talk about the board games, Wii games, dvds and BluRays, and knicknacks that clutter the living room. Also, lots of music books. Most of those, though, I'd like to keep.  We do use them on occasion.

Decluttering the house will be difficult.  Decluttering my mind is surely impossible.  I have always had a noisy mind.  Can't seem to quiet it very often. Writing helps, especially the poetry, for often what is clamoring around in there is a phrase or an idea that wants out, but doesn't want to be lost.  So, I also have a huge collection of notebooks and journals, AND this blog.  I try to clear my mind and sit quietly at times, but it is very difficult.  I seem to live inside my own head a lot, and though I am very interested in people, and I socialize well, large groups of people exhaust me. Too much input.  (Noise, sights, emotions, ideas, all crowding in on my already noisy mind.)  I often wonder if my celebrity acquaintances who have met me at conventions think I'm rather drifty in person.  They know me from social media, but when I post, I am usually alone in my office, with a more or less quiet environment. At the cons, especially the large ones, I am so overwhelmed by the crowds that I feel almost like I'm sleepwalking.  I think I did better in San Antonio, I was able to concentrate on the people nearest me better, and I hope I sounded less like I was half asleep.

I don't have any real solutions to offer for the problems of clutter.  I have never really dealt with mine. Until 1998, we had the Air Force solving some of the problem for us.  PCS moves come with a weight allowance for household goods, so it's a good reason to purge.  Guess we'll have to pretend we're moving and just start evaluating our stuff.
As for my cluttered mind, well, this has helped a bit.  

What Lasts

My Mom is slowly leaving us.  Her mind is wandering off.  She forgets to eat, she forgets what day it is, sometimes she forgets where she is, but she never forgets the ones she loves.  She always knows us kids when we call, and my sister and I visited last week, and she knew exactly who we were.  She remembers all about our Pop, and what a good husband he was.  She misses him.  She remembers love. 
Of all the things we have in this life, of all the things we leave behind, love is the one that trumps them all.  When I remember my childhood, I don't remember all the stuff I had, I remember all the fun I had with my siblings and with Mom and Pop.  I remember the love.  Our family isn't very demonstrative, or especially mushy, but we know we are loved.  We have had our differences, our ups and downs, and our distances, but we love each other.  Love is durable.  It can stand a few falls into the dust, and come up shinier than ever. 

When I leave this world, I want to be remembered for being loving.  Love is the best thing to give, because it multiplies and comes back to you.  I want to be thought of with love.  To achieve that, I have to be willing to be giving and loving even when that is hard work. 
Marriage teaches you what hard work loving can be.  If you learn the lessons well, you come out stronger.  Matt and I have been through many ups and downs together.  We always see it through.  We love each other.  Always.  Even when we are irritated with one another, even when things get to us, we still love each other.  Matt can nearly always make me laugh.  More than 31 years together.  Both of us are still alive.  We like that old joke: "We've never once considered divorce.  Murder, yes, divorce, no."
Working with young children teaches you about the work involved in loving, too.  Patience is not one of my virtues, but for the sake of the kids I have worked with, because I love them, I learned.  I still pray for those kids who were my one full time class. I wish I could see how they all turned out.  They all still take up space in my heart.  There are many others who have added themselves to my heart over the years. 

Friends are another source of love.  I have many.  I am blessed.  A few who are especially close, more like a family.  Some I've only met online, one or two of those feel much closer than that. 

Mom had students, too.  She touched many lives when she was a preschool teacher.  Those kids loved her, and she loved them, too.  All her friends where she lives now love her.  Even the staff where she is tell us how she has worked her way into their hearts, how funny she is, how obviously caring.  Even when she isn't entirely there. 

As legacies go, one could do a lot worse than to leave behind as much love as Mom always has.  I only hope that the ones I love know they are loved.  Treasured, even. 

Those of us who are Christians, our faith calls us to love.  Jesus was (and is) all about the love.  "Love one another as I have loved you." "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your spirit, and your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."  We are not called to judge, to see if we (or others) "measure up".  Jesus chose the broken ones, the less than sterling characters to be his disciples.  He loved them.  We are supposed to operate on the same principle.  Love.  Far too often we fall abysmally short.  That we are still loved is testament to God's faith in us, in our ability to learn and grow in love. 
I pray that we all, regardless of our faith or lack thereof, learn the value of love. That we learn to live in love, to share that love, and to leave that love behind us when we go.  Because love is the only thing that truly lasts.

First World Problem Leads to Real World Blessing

Less than halfway through the walk, the music app on  the phone died, and left me with no tunes to motivate my exercise.
No real problem, though, because I had a whole world around me to listen to.
The quiet of a suburban neighborhood in the midmorning is surprising.
There were subtle sounds all around, though.
Small planes droning their way across the unbelievably blue sky,
Blue jays hashing out a territorial dispute on the next block,
A light breeze whispering through the trees,
The subtle crackle of dry leaves on the sidewalk,
The rhythmic beat of my own footsteps on the pavement.
Sometimes, the hum of an air conditioning unit as the early Autumn sun is very warm,
As I get nearer the main road, a bit more traffic noise,
Tires humming on pavement, bodywork rattling over the railroad crossing,
In the distance, a train horn.
The lonely, twangy song of a lone cicada, who somehow overslept the end of the season,
The buzz of the locusts as they hop-fly out of my path,
Quiet cricket chirps from the deep shade under a nearby stand of trees,
Whirring of dragonfly wings as one swoops by me,
Sometimes a far-off , muted roar of a jet flying far, far overhead.
The occasional weed trimmer and/or lawnmower may be heard as well,
And one neighbor is power-washing his house.
Gotta get the dusty grime of the Oklahoma summer off before winter hits!
Greetings from the neighborhood dogs as I pass.  Usually friendly barks,
Sometimes territorial assertions, at least until I tell them they are good dogs, doing a dog's work well.
Then, the greetings are friendly, tails wag behind their fences.
Machine noises and rattles and bangs behind the supermarket, deliveries made, and garbage taken out.
Back on the noisy main road, and headed toward home, the noontime traffic of high school students heading toward the fast food places for lunch, another train warning of its approach.
Back to my own front porch and the creaky squeaky storm door, and the satisfying snick of the key in the well-oiled lock.
Now I seek the comfort of the ceiling fan in the dining room, and put away all my "walk support equipment".
I come in here, do some free weight exercises, stretch, and get this machine going.
And then I wrote this.
Now I have to go wash the grime of exercise both physical and mental off myself so I can continue with the day's work.
All this I actually paid attention to
Because my favorite distraction was silenced.

Lingerie Fashion Update - (Skip this one guys, unless your lady might be interested...)

I have finally found a manufacturer of brassieres that makes high-quality, properly-fitting, and SEXY bras for women MY SIZE!!  This has been a challenge most of my adult life because I am fairly small around the torso, but have LARGE breasts.  Precious few stores carry size (US sizing) 34 G.  I have to special order.  Usually, this means settling for a "minimizer" that is really a 34DDD, but since the cups are larger, it works.  Not so anymore.  Now I have found Panache!
See their wonderful website HERE

Not only can I get a 34G, but I can get a SEXY one!

Also, the first and ONLY sports bra I have ever found that really works!

(And doesn't cause uniboob.)

Here are some pictures of the styles I have tried so far:

The sports bra.  I have one like this and one that's coral. (I don't know when Safety Orange became known as coral, but...)

This is the "Hepburn" bra.  Gorgeous, and comfy.

This one is called "Maddie"

This one is called "Juna"

This is the "Loretta" style

This one is known as "Neve"

I really like the Neve and the Loretta styles.  I ordered one more of each of those.  The Maddie and Juna are two I just got, and haven't worn much yet. 

My husband really gets the credit for finding Panache for me.  He had heard me bewailing the fact that I have NEVER been able to find a sports bra that looks good and feels good, AND reduces bounce.  He started researching bras with lots of purchasers and lots of good reviews.  He found Panache.  If you peruse the website, you will see that they make brassieres in a LOT of sizes, not JUST for "full figure" and not just for charter members of the "itty bitty titty committee."
I always envied my smaller friends, because there are SO many cute bras out there in the smaller sizes.  I have never before found cute ones in MY size. 

I have purchased all of my Panache bras through Amazon, and DO take heed of the sizing chart that is available.  Panache bras are made in UK sizing, and it is a bit different from US sizing.  When I order Panache, I get a 34 F, because in the UK, 34 G is a larger size than it is in the US. When in doubt, go get yourself professionally measured.  You can have this done at any large department store like Nordstrom, or Dillards.  That's how I found out I really needed a larger cup size, even though my band size was correct.  I did find a nice strapless that I needed for a particular dress at Dillards, but the rest of what was available in my size was less than inspiring.

If you are a woman who has difficulty finding a bra you love in the size you need, give Panache a try.  If you are a guy who knows a lady who complains about never finding a bra she really likes, tell her to try Panache.  I have been amazed at the quality, the comfort, the fit, and how great I look wearing them!