What A Thief Is Time

This is my husband and me in 1984. He was 26, I was 24. It was either right before or right after we were married.  (I can't see my hand well enough to tell if there is a ring.)

We were SO young.  We don't FEEL so OLD now, but we sure look it.  Still the same inside, except maybe a bit wiser, a bit more caring, but also a little more tired.

Time takes away so much, seemingly so slowly, but one day, you look up, and you're old.  Your knees creak and protest things you used to do without thought.  Your fingers are stiff and sore when you wake up, You realize that you have gained weight, lost hair, and have more, erm, character in your face.

Of course, if you have children, especially teenage children, you are probably reminded of this on a regular basis.  (We are fortunate, we do not own any offspring, having found it difficult to reproduce when we were on opposite sides of the planet for so much of the early years of our marriage.) We have had no one to tell us we were OLD even before we really were.
I don't really think of myself as old even now.  I mean, yeah, I was born when Eisenhower was still President, and I remember a time when broadcast was the only TV there was, and telephones were big, clunky, and wired into the wall.  (And all you could do on them was call somebody.) (Oh, and they had DIALS, not keypads.)
Despite all that, I try to keep up with technology, with some cultural trends, I try not to dress like somebody's grandma, 'cause I AIN'T anybody's grandma!  I try to get in better shape and stay that way.  Matt tries, too, but it's harder for him.  He's up on the technology and the culture, but he doesn't really spare much thought for fashion.
I don't have a current picture of the two of us that I really like.  None of the pictures we have are very flattering.  Even though we have "fallen apart" so to speak, we don't look as bad in reality as we do in some of the pictures.

Us in 2009

 The picture above is 5 years old, and I swear, I look younger now than I did then.  Matt looks about the same.

Our youth and appearance are not the only things time steals. It steals away those we love,  as well. 
Since the first picture was taken, we've lost both our dads, Matt's nephew, Matt's mom. my nephew, and a few friends.  I've lost two aunts and an uncle, and three cousins.
  If we are very careful, time can't steal away our loved ones completely.  We need to keep our memories stored away safely and look upon them often, remember the smiles and the laughter, and the times we cried together.  All of those things, the love shared, will keep our loved ones near.  
This time of year we are all somewhat obsessed with the passing of time.  We buy new calendars to keep track of our days, we make resolutions, we look back on the events of the last year, and the people we've lost in the last year. 
My friends will tell you that there are many clocks in our house.  Hard to find a place where you don't hear a clock ticking.  (I just happen to like clocks.)  There are also lots of calendars since I have discovered them to be a fairly cheap source of changeable art work.  Even with all of those reminders of fleeting time, I manage to waste a lot of it.  I get bogged down in minutiae, and miss enjoying some things.  (Especially if I don't make myself a list.)

We can't afford to lose sight of the important things in this life.  The people we love, the stories we tell each other, the stories of shared experiences, the in-jokes, the memories.  Store them up in your heart, where fire, flood, earthquake and tornadoes can't destroy them.  Pass the memories on to the next generation, so that they will remember those who came before with love, even the ones they never met.

One image from a movie that has always stuck with me is the close up of the sundial at Twelve Oaks in Gone With The Wind.  "Do not squander time, it is the stuff that life is made of."  That quote was engraved on the sundial.
I try to remember that when I find myself glued to my screen.  There's a world out here to enjoy.  If I don't spend time enjoying it, what'll I have to post about anyway? ;-)

An Experimental Post: Jottings From Some Of My Pens

There is a collection of fountain pens on my desk.  I don't use them as often as I should.  I took out a few of them, tuned them up, and let them go in my notebook to see where they'd lead me.  Here's a look at what I got.

These are just rough drafts, stuck in my notebook, perhaps to be polished a bit more someday, perhaps not.  Anything to get myself to write a bit every day. 
Sorry about the lousy penmanship.  For a former teacher, it is truly awful.  (Truthfully, it never was as good as it should have been, but my manuscript printing was pretty good.)

Nothing too profound for a Friday night.  Just some scribbles.  Enjoy.  Or not. Your choice.

Of New Beginnings and Old Issues

January first.  Now is the winter of our discontent begun.  The first week of keeping all our good resolutions to eat less junk food, exercise more, and just basically do a lot of things that are good for us, but decrease our sense of enjoyment, perhaps.  Unless we go about it the right way. 
My big problem is going to be the lack of chocolate.  I love chocolate, and having to cut back to the recommended ounce or two only a day is going to be rough. 
Cutting down on the number of calories consumed is going to be tough, as I tend to use food as a comfort.  Tough day?  Have some pie.  Bored? Chips and salsa!
Exercise, well, it feels good once you get finished.  Getting started is HARD.  Also, sticking with it.

I have found that if I remind myself of all the good things that come with behaving myself as regards my diet and exercise, it is lots easier to stick to my resolutions. 
When I exercise, I feel better overall, I have a better outlook on life, I have more energy.  (That is, when I am not calling myself twenty kinds of a fool for making all my muscles ache from activity they are not used to. That's why God made aspirin, though.)
I also look a whole lot better when I stick with the diet and exercise.  My skin is clearer and less wrinkly, also my color is healthy instead of pallid.  My hair shines whether or not I remember the conditioner. Also, I can fit into smaller, nicer fitting clothes. 
Biggest bonus:  I do NOT look like I am almost 55 years old.  (At least, I don't THINK I do, and I've had several people act surprised when they find out my age.  Maybe they thought I was older though, so you never know...)

On the flip side, the resolutions that mean the most are the ones that improve our character.  Like vowing to be less selfish and more concerned with the needs of others.  World needs a WHOLE lot more of that.  If even a few of us manage to do better on that, this year will be a LOT better than the last.
A  promise to oneself to learn at least one new thing every month, or to read more, things that keep your mind active and expand your horizons,those are resolutions that will pay even bigger dividends to society as a whole than improving health and/or appearance will.
I made myself a promise that I would try to finish more of the books I am reading. I have a bad habit of having four or five non-fiction books going at once, and at least two novels.  Right now, I am reading "I'm Your Man" a biography of Leonard Cohen.  I am also reading a book called "Geek Girls Unite by Leslie Simon. I have one of the "Ghost" series by Carolyn G. Hart going, and a couple of books about drinks and drink mixing that I am reading off and on.  Gotta finish all that stuff, and see what else I can get read off of the huge backlog of stuff on my Nook and on the Kindle app.

I already made a dent in one of my long-held resolutions.  I got all of the physical books in the house cataloged.  Now I need to finish verifying which ebooks I own have made it into the catalog.  In physical books alone, there are over 1,000 items in that catalog. 
One book I did finish last year, and in fact read at least 3 times, is Ron Perlman's autobiography, Easy Street: The Hard Way.   I read it over and over not just because I am a fan, but because there is quite a bit there to digest.  He tells his story in his own language, without pretense, and without holding back difficult truths.  There is much in that book to make you think about how things work, not just in Hollywood, but in life.  So grateful that I CAN count him as someone who is a friend, not a really close friend, but certainly not a stranger.  Glad for the friends I have made because of him, and very glad to know that my estimation of his character was accurate.  He is down to earth, loyal, kind, and loving.  A VERY class act.  Also a very talented actor, as shown by the many diverse roles he has performed and won accolades and awards for.

The process of deciding what to strive for in the year ahead is tempered and influenced by all that came in the year that has just passed.  Since I read Easy Street this last year, it has influenced my resolve to be more genuine, more true to myself, in my dealings with others.  I have usually been pretty much "what you see is what you get", I am not much of a poser.  I have decided though, that I need to pay more attention to making my behavior match what I claim to believe.  Never easy, but a worthwhile pursuit for a Christian.  It is what we are supposed to do, after all, to act on the things Jesus taught, to avoid the pitfalls He warned against.  Few of us meet with much success in this, but the fact that we are trying, really trying, will make the whole world a better place.  (In keeping with that goal, I will try very hard here not to rant about those who invoke religion in the service of their own prejudice and bad behavior... wouldn't want to fall victim to the pitfall of being judgmental...)

Another resolution is to strive to put more effort into translating my love of my library and my work there into positive actions to benefit this community and my library.  My goal for this year at work plays into that, by helping make our customers more aware of the services we offer.  It's a difficult goal for me, using technology I haven't used in quite that way before, making short videos to play on our lobby TV.  My boss is very excited about it, and is a lot of help, so maybe, just maybe I'll be successful.  (All I can do is my very best.)

There you have it, a brand new calendar to fill up, and some of the same old issues following me around, along with a few new ways to challenge myself.  Bet you are paddling a similar canoe.  All I can tell you is, THIS year, I intend to make my paddle out of a better quality of attitude, and a firmer bit of resolve.  These goals are worthy, and important to more than just me.  Bet yours are, too.
Happy New Year, and good luck and perseverance to us all!!

Auld Lang Syne

Edinburgh's Hogmanay, or New Year's Celebration.

This song is used to ring in the New Year the world over, and few beyond the Scots have any real idea what it's talking about.  I know, because I love Burns' poetry and songs, and have studied, also I have some Scots blood in my veins.

This is a song about remembering.  About remembering old friends, and good times gone by.  It's about the passing of time, and how we can lose people, if we aren't awfully careful not to.
It is basically asking should we forget all the good times we had before?  Should we forget our old friends?  The answer the song gives in itself is no.  We should remember.  "We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne."  Basically, we'll drink a toast in honor of those times long since.

The whole gist of it is that we should remember the good times, the friendship, and be happy.  We'll be glad we're still friends, in spite of all the time and the life that has passed since the old days.

This New Year's Eve, as I hear the song again, and see many more than slightly inebriated people trying to sing it, I will hope that they are able to remember the good times and the good friends that make life worth living, as I remember mine.

So many of you,  some of you even read this blog!  I will remember you, and raise my glass in honor of and in thanksgiving for, your friendship.  I'm honored to know you!

I think of some I've known since high school, like Brenda, and Kathleen, and Patricia, and Liz.  There's even a guy out there who was really a friend of my brother's, so he's known me about ALL my life - Roy.  Then there are the church friends, the military friends,some of whom we still see, and some we only hear from once in a while.
All the friends from work, who have been through software changes, tornado procedures, new technology, and many, many Summer Reading Programs with me.  We have an awful lot of "auld lang syne" between us, and it's all been wonderful because of your dedication to the community and keeping our library a great resource for everyone.
Then, there are my fellow #PerlGirls.  Fi, Mary, Kelly, Jana, Mallory, Paulette, Patti, Brina, Linda, Marie, Anna, and Amy. (Almost forgot our "baby sister", Chloe!)  You ladies are  fabulous.  We don't have much "auld lang syne" between us yet, but we are gathering new memories daily!  Love you, girls, and we love The Man Himself, too,
 of course!!
SO much love tonight, as we look forward to a new year in which to keep our friendships stitched together through distance, time, work, and the cares of life.  May you always remember the fun times when you need a smile, and remember I'm here if you need a shoulder to lean on.  Friendship is the greatest gift there is, and I have been given some wonderful gifts over the years!
God Bless, and may 2015 be better and brighter than you could have imagined.

Auld Lang Syne
By Robert Burns

chorus : Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint stowp!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the brae,
And pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fitt,
Sin auld lang syne

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd.
Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my tursty fiere!
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
For auld lang syne.

Dougie MacLean singing Auld Lang Syne

Things that Bug Me

Fingers that are unbending and a bit sore when I wake up.

Eyes that take longer to focus.

Housework that seems to multiply exponentially overnight.

Electronic devices that have "helpful" software.

The way my thumbnails seem to reach a certain length and then disintegrate.

People who don't know how to play stop sign.

Freight trains that are 5 to 7 miles long and pass SLOWLY through town at rush hour.

The fact that Texas won't keep its blasted cedar pollen to itself.

When OU's football team acts like they can't remember how to play football.  Makes my friends sad.

How time speeds up when I have something important I need to finish, or when I have something good to read.

These are merely minor irritations.  There are many things in this world that disturb me greatly.  Probably the same things that disturb most people.  Injustice.  The increase of poverty. Racism.  The unrelenting slavery to greed.  Those things require reflection and discussion.  These little irritations merely need a mention, so as to get them off my mind, and perhaps for others to say , "Ha. Yeah, me, too."

So, these are my pet peeves du jour.  I am sure on other days, I will think of other things.  

Christmas Day Reflections

I wonder what it is about this day that makes me want to wander out on windswept moors, or through winter bare woods.  Every year, I find myself wanting to walk through nature on Christmas Day, finding evidence of God's peace and the new light born into the world even in desolate places.

I just looked at a long term weather forecast.  Snow on Tuesday and Wednesday.   Seriously?   Good grief.

I took a little walk around the neighborhood.   Here's some photos. 

Early part of sunset from corner of 12th and Foxfire

Some neighborhood lights.

More neighborhood lights.

 Lights again.

 

Stars in the tree look suspiciously like July 4th decorations.

Lots of dead toons in this yard.  Rumor has it they reanimate like Zombies after dark.

One of the more enthusiastic decorators in the neighborhood.

Go Home Frosty!  You're DRUNK!!

Looking North, believe it or not.

Sunset almost back to corner at 12th and Foxfire

The welcome lights of home.

A blurry view of my reading nook.  I had just gotten up from it after a wee snooze.

All in all a pretty quiet Christmas.  We had a few gifts, since we had gotten each other things all year that we really wanted, we only had small things for Christmas.  The best gift was being together, being with our church family, and having tomorrow to look forward to.  Our good friends will join us for the Feast of the Festive Leftovers.  It will be EPIC!! 

Topping it all off was a nice greeting from a special Twitter friend, and lots of other nice tweets and messages from far flung friends.  We love you all and are so glad we were able to share a bit of this day with you! 

Christmas Eve Ruminations

I'm awake!  Got a late start because I finally go to sleep after 2 when the pie finally got cool enough to go into the refrigerator. 
I've gotta make a list of what I need to get done.
Gotta make a list for Matt who is going out to get last minute stuff.
Little patters of squirrel feet on my roof make me smile in the middle of everything.  I'll go out and refill the feeders.  Merry Christmas, Squirrely Whirly, and birdies.

Almost 4 pm.  Chores done, presents wrapped, still some cooking to do.  We'll eat our first feast this evening, then nibble tomorrow, and on Friday, have the Feast of the Festive Leftovers with our good friends.  (There may be a few things made fresh for the "leftovers" feast.  All depends on how things go...)

Joys of the day:  A dog joyfully playing ball with his human as I passed by on my walk.  The neighbor dogs who stop barking and wag their tails as soon as I say hi and tell them how pretty and what good doggies they are.

Dinner eaten and almost all cleaned up. Soup was excellent, beef was good, beans need a little work... but they'll be OK before the Feast of the Festive Leftovers!

A tweet out of the blue yesterday really made my day!  Nice to be remembered, and a very nice thing so close to Christmas.  Still smiling.

Time now to recoup a little before getting ready and heading for church.  This late service makes for a long day for us, but we'd be up late anyway...

The service seemed  longer than usual, and boy, did we sing a LOT of carols!  Only three anthems, but LOTS of carols!  And they let us have lit candles in the loft for the end of "Silent Night".  They're either brave or crazy. 

Sermon was called "The Light Must Change Us".  About how now that the Light of the World has come to us, we should live more like we've seen that light.  Share that light by our deeds, not by preaching and trying to convert people, but by touching people's lives and hearts the way Jesus did.  It was a good sermon. 
And so, to bed.  A long day, since I stayed up so late last night. It is almost as late now.  Christmas Eve is always a bit this way.  Now that I've had some of each kind of pie (both came out well, yay!)  and some hot chocolate, time to wash up and clean my teeth and head for zzzzzzz.

The light of love does change us. It lightens and warms all those upon whom it shines.  May the Light of  Love shine in our hearts and into the lives of those we encounter, may we all be changed for the better, made more loving, by that light. 
Peace to you, and Merry Christmas!!