Mutterings and Whispers

Fear is that stealthy thing
That sneaks up
When you are going along, enjoying life
And suddenly pours ice cold water
Over your head.
Anxiety is it's best friend
Making you antsy,
And susceptible to flinching
At every little creak and tick
In an old house when you are alone.

Happiness is a bouncing puppy
That jumps up and licks your face
Until you laugh
And then hangs around and  wants to play.
Gratitude is the thing
That makes happiness a longtime
Companion,
A good dog,
Who keeps you company
In good times and bad.

Anticipation
Can be better than the actual event
You are looking forward to
That hopeful longing
That lets you imagine
How wonderful something will be.
Joy is the gift of the grateful heart,
When the long desired event
Comes to pass,
And you find it to be even
BETTER
Than you imagined.

Writing little bits that are floating around in my brain today.  Preparing for a trip, going to see friends and hoping for good weather while we're gone, so I have a house to come home to.
Of course they are predicting BAD storms for the night after we leave.  So I will be anxious about our house.
There are medical tests in the future for both Matt and I , and those make me anxious,too.
Trying not to worry, because God has never yet let us down.  We've come through safe and sound, and we still have our house after all these years here.  I know the house can be replaced, but the memories around those keepsakes cannot.   32 years of our history, more than that of our individual histories, all here in this house, kept alive by the sight of the things that remind us of people and times together.
So, I will take a deep breath, and trust.  I will have a good time on this trip, and not feel like I am tempting fate.  For this time with Matt and our friends is a gift, and it is just as much to be treasured as the things we already have memories around.

Safe travels to all of us, and may the storms stay far away from Moore, and other populated areas, where far too many live with extreme anxiety every time the weather threatens.

The humidity is awful around here today.  Found it hard going on my walk, and had to slow down.  It isn't that hot, and the wind is gusting pretty swiftly, but the air is heavy, and makes the heat feel a lot worse than it is, in spite of the wind.  Really nasty, almost like Alabama, only windier.

Looking at old home movies my brother had digitized for all of us.  Oh,. My. God.  My siblings were kids once!  I seem to always remember them as teenagers or adults.  (Well, the oldest WAS 16 when I was born. )  My oldest brother never seems to smile in the movies.  Weird.  He laughs and smiles a lot, I've seen him, but in those movies, he's mostly Mr. Serious.
My Mom was a knockout! Wow!  This was before I came along, but she was looking really good.  No wonder Pop was so happy.  And Pop, gee, he looks the same to me.  I know he got older and had wrinkles and stuff, but he was still strong and muscular, even into his late 60s.  I miss him SO much, and seeing these old movies reminds me of that.  At least I know he and Mom are together again.  I miss Mom, too.  She left in increments, though.  Pop just vanished one day, after an accident at work.  Never really got a chance to tell him how much I loved him, but I suspect he knew.

Wish he could see what I do now at work, how much people appreciate what I do.  It astounds me sometimes, but over and over I've been told that my attitude and my tenderheartedness have made our library a better place, and my coworkers and customers seem to really like me.  I believe in the importance of what I do, even though sometimes Circulation is drudge work, it IS important.  What we do enables people to find the materials they need when they need them.  What we do keeps their accounts functioning properly, and allows them a way to fix errors easily, because all they have to do is call.  We are helpful and reasonable.  We have policies in place to guide us, but we are well trained, and our judgement is trusted. If we waive a fine for a customer, it is because it was the best thing to do for us AND for the customer.  We are all about people being able to use their library!

I do hope we survive this election year.  I hope this country has enough sensible people to elect someone who isn't going to drive the whole republic into the ground.  Whole lot of muttering going on about this campaign season.  I've had more than enough of He Who Must Not Be Named already!  The chairperson of the DNC is getting on my  nerves, too.  She needs to go away.  Bad news.

On top of all the other things I have going on, I wrote another story that might, someday, be published online.  I hope so, I think it's a good little story.  Needs more editing,  but I have a friend who helps with that.

I am tired.  Time to stop.

When the hour is late
And my brain finally slows down
And lets go of the spate
Of thoughts that go round and round
Then, in the quiet
I can at last rest my head
Or at least try it
In my nice comfy bed.