The ho-hum. The everyday, boring, routinized little life most of us lead. It's dull, it makes us dull, it feels most of the time like it doesn't matter at all.
Ah, but our mundane little routines and chores keep the civilized world going. We all depend on each other more than we realize in this modern world, and if any of us were to go missing, it would make a difference, and not usually for the better.
I often suffer bouts of self-doubt and self-pity, thinking myself a victim of my choices, of always taking the easy way out, the path of least resistance. My life is pleasant, even fun and fulfilling sometimes, but it is not what I once dreamed of. This life is harder work than it looks like. And it DOES matter.
Getting up every day and doing what needs to be done is NOT easy, no
matter who you are. There are days when you'd rather give up, just stay
in bed. It matters that you do get up and go, it means that your little
part of civilization keeps working right, your coworkers and friends
will have what they need from you, and will be better able to do what
they need to do for others in their turn.
I know that my coworkers matter to me, so do our customers. Life would not be the same in this town without them. My friends matter, my loved ones. I matter, even though I never really thought so before. I always thought maybe people just put up with me to be nice. Never occurred to me that I do give something back. I love my coworkers, and our customers, and I guess it shows.
My boss told me recently that he noticed one week when I was gone, how morale and the overall mood in the department was down, people were gloomy and groused at each other. He couldn't figure it out. Then I came back, and he said there was happy noise again, and people were laughing and talking again, back to normal. I never thought I made that much of a difference, but I guess I do. (Or it could just be that when I'm there, I make sure the candy and snack jars get refilled...)
The kind of job I have is full of routine. Certain tasks must be done every day, over and over to keep things running smoothly, to keep giving our customers access to the information and services they need. It can get boring, feel like drudge work, but it is important all the same. Finding little joys along the way makes it worthwhile, and working with the public, there are always little joys. Seeing the kids come in who aren't such kids anymore, the ones that have been coming in every day since I started working there, just about. Seeing all the new families come in, all the older folks,too, it's hard to describe how much it means to me to be part of a community like this, to help care for our community. Our library is a community treasure. A storehouse of wonderful things that belong to all of us. I am one of the keepers of that bounty. It's a big responsibility. And a great joy. When you find just what someone is looking for, when you can unravel an account problem and make everything right again, that's when routine tasks pay off.
I'm going to be off again for a few days. Going to celebrate my Mom's 90th birthday with her and all my siblings, all together for the first time in probably 30 years. I'm going to miss Matt a lot, and my library family, and my church family, because those are all people that matter a lot in my every day life. I have friends online that I won't have to miss as much thanks to smart phone technology. I will still have my Facebook friends and my Tweeples.
Next time you have to do something you've done a thousand times before, and you are irritated by it, try remembering why you do it. It helps sometimes. Especially when the person it helps is someone you care about, when the life it makes better is your own, or when, on rare occasions, you get to see that what you do every day can put a smile on a kid's face. We ALL matter, we are ALL important.
I'll see ya when I get home.
Peace,
Katie
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Good Friday
This time of year, sitting as close as we do to the shadow of the Murrah Building bombing,and the Memorial that is just down the street, Good Friday has a bit more emotional impact than usual.
After hearing Bishop Ed's sermon, I started hearing the first part of this poem in my head, over and over, telling me I needed to write when I got home. So, here I am, and here it is.
I hope it speaks to some of you as these words spoke to me and asked to be written.
Good Friday Meditation
By C.K. Armistead
April 18, 2014
Let me not forget
The price paid by Love
For the love
Of imperfect me.
Let me not forget the cost
Of the grace I so often
Seem to take for granted.
Help me share the Love
That has been given to me
Not just when it is easy
But when it hurts
As well.
For Love did not
Abandon me
When loving me hurt
So very much.
Love stayed beside me
And watched through the night
And was still there at dawn.
Help me to be as steadfast
In loving those around me
As Love has been in
Loving me.
For Love is a gift
That is only truly accepted
In giving it away.
When it is given,
It does not diminish,
As material gifts do,
Instead,
It increases,
And that gift of Love
Can light
The Entire World.
Whatever faith you hold to, or even if you have none, may you be blessed this day, and may Love find you, and surround you, and may you know that the God I love, who is called Love in John's letters in the New Testament; loves you, whether you think so or not. Whether you believe or not, whether you care or not, whether you are straight or gay, male or female, no matter what your ethnic background or religious tradition, you are loved. All who know Love will also love you, and welcome you.
I constantly strive to show love as I have been loved. It is not easy. MANY fail to love, harden their hearts, some even hate in the name of the one whom we call Love. Don't be dragged down by them. Remember we are called to love, especially those of us who profess to believe in Jesus. I sincerely apologize for the many times I fall short of the calling to love, and I pray you forgive my lack, as I ask my God to strengthen my resolve to love, to show Love to others.
Peace,
Katie
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Lovely, Sad April Once Again
April is a month that makes us feel vulnerable here in the Oklahoma City metro area. No major tornadoes to remember this month, but bad storms, and the chance of tornadoes appears in April usually after a winter respite.
No, April's lovely soft sunny mornings have been clouded for us by a memory of evil. A memory that was burned into our hearts on April 19, 1995. It was such a beautiful, sunny, pleasant morning. Then the news reports started coming out about an explosion downtown. The smoke visible on the horizon. The worry about friends we knew worked down there. The fear for the children we knew in the YMCA daycare near there, the church, which is only a block or two away.
I watched the news that morning in shock and with dread. I saw familiar faces, most just in obvious shock, but one with blood on it. It still hurts, to think about the damage to so many lives caused that day, the children lost, the sense of security we lost. The many, many scattered pieces of our lives in downtown that had to be picked up and reassembled as best we could.
Our church had significant damage, and it took us many years to complete all the restorations. We never lost the most important thing, though, our love for one another, and our sense of God's love. We are still in downtown, and we are still thriving.
Perhaps that is true of everything downtown, we are put back together physically, and for the most part, spiritually as well. The Oklahoma City National Memorial has helped a lot with that sense of putting ourselves back together. It is a very healing place. A very peaceful and beautiful place. The museum is very moving, jolting some of us back to very clear memories of that day.
Next year marks 20 years since the bombing. VERY hard to believe. Doesn't seem like it can possibly have been so long, and yet, the worst of the visible scars are long healed, and many of the psychological ones are well on the way.
It still shocks me that anyone remotely human could have parked that truck there, under windows where they knew little children were playing, and set that explosion in motion. Such hatred, and such misdirected violence did not solve anything. They only presented a new set of problems. This tragedy injured Oklahoma deeply, but it also strengthened our resolve. That was the day I adopted Oklahoma, and vowed to stay help mend this broken heartland. The great outpouring of love and determination to do the right thing that the world saw here was a true blessing. People in Oklahoma are pretty tough. You have to be to live in a place where the land and the weather turn on you at a moment's notice. Makes us good at getting back up, at reaching out to give our neighbor a hand, at joining hands and standing strong. When it REALLY matters, people here don't care about the things that usually divide us. They remember that all we have is each other, good, bad, or indifferent, and they reach out and hold on to one another. That's what made me adopt this place, that's why I stay.
We saw it again last year when the tornadoes came. The rest of the world responds to that by remembering that all ANY of us has is each other, and they send help, or come to help, and even though the events like the tornadoes and the bombing are horrible, they remind us that we are NOT alone or forgotten here.
Today, the wind is high, but the sun is bright, and the sky is a beautiful blue that I have only ever seen in Oklahoma. I don't know what Saturday will be like, since that is the actual anniversary, but this lovely morning reminded me of that lovely, doomed morning 19 years ago when I became an Oklahoman.
No, April's lovely soft sunny mornings have been clouded for us by a memory of evil. A memory that was burned into our hearts on April 19, 1995. It was such a beautiful, sunny, pleasant morning. Then the news reports started coming out about an explosion downtown. The smoke visible on the horizon. The worry about friends we knew worked down there. The fear for the children we knew in the YMCA daycare near there, the church, which is only a block or two away.
I watched the news that morning in shock and with dread. I saw familiar faces, most just in obvious shock, but one with blood on it. It still hurts, to think about the damage to so many lives caused that day, the children lost, the sense of security we lost. The many, many scattered pieces of our lives in downtown that had to be picked up and reassembled as best we could.
Our church had significant damage, and it took us many years to complete all the restorations. We never lost the most important thing, though, our love for one another, and our sense of God's love. We are still in downtown, and we are still thriving.
Perhaps that is true of everything downtown, we are put back together physically, and for the most part, spiritually as well. The Oklahoma City National Memorial has helped a lot with that sense of putting ourselves back together. It is a very healing place. A very peaceful and beautiful place. The museum is very moving, jolting some of us back to very clear memories of that day.
Next year marks 20 years since the bombing. VERY hard to believe. Doesn't seem like it can possibly have been so long, and yet, the worst of the visible scars are long healed, and many of the psychological ones are well on the way.
It still shocks me that anyone remotely human could have parked that truck there, under windows where they knew little children were playing, and set that explosion in motion. Such hatred, and such misdirected violence did not solve anything. They only presented a new set of problems. This tragedy injured Oklahoma deeply, but it also strengthened our resolve. That was the day I adopted Oklahoma, and vowed to stay help mend this broken heartland. The great outpouring of love and determination to do the right thing that the world saw here was a true blessing. People in Oklahoma are pretty tough. You have to be to live in a place where the land and the weather turn on you at a moment's notice. Makes us good at getting back up, at reaching out to give our neighbor a hand, at joining hands and standing strong. When it REALLY matters, people here don't care about the things that usually divide us. They remember that all we have is each other, good, bad, or indifferent, and they reach out and hold on to one another. That's what made me adopt this place, that's why I stay.
We saw it again last year when the tornadoes came. The rest of the world responds to that by remembering that all ANY of us has is each other, and they send help, or come to help, and even though the events like the tornadoes and the bombing are horrible, they remind us that we are NOT alone or forgotten here.
Today, the wind is high, but the sun is bright, and the sky is a beautiful blue that I have only ever seen in Oklahoma. I don't know what Saturday will be like, since that is the actual anniversary, but this lovely morning reminded me of that lovely, doomed morning 19 years ago when I became an Oklahoman.
Friday, April 11, 2014
So, Is This Blog Still Working?
I just checked on my blog page, and there are NO hits for more than 24 hours now? That doesn't sound right. I usually have at least one or two. So, this post is by way of figuring out what the heck may be going on.
There has been much paranoid weirdness on the Interwebz lately, as the Heartbleed problem is becoming better known. I've changed some passwords sooner than I normally would have.
It is late
My eyes feel gritty
The night cloaks
The sleepy city
Even the highway
Has grown more quiet
But the train on its way
Cannot be silent.
Time marches on
The clock will not wait
For anyone
Nor will it allow me
To sleep late.
So for now I must
Bid adieu
To you.
I trust
You will
Keep well
Until we meet again.
Good night, Blogger.
Good night, Twitter,
Good night Facebook,
Good night Fitbit
and Good Night LoseIt!
There has been much paranoid weirdness on the Interwebz lately, as the Heartbleed problem is becoming better known. I've changed some passwords sooner than I normally would have.
It is late
My eyes feel gritty
The night cloaks
The sleepy city
Even the highway
Has grown more quiet
But the train on its way
Cannot be silent.
Time marches on
The clock will not wait
For anyone
Nor will it allow me
To sleep late.
So for now I must
Bid adieu
To you.
I trust
You will
Keep well
Until we meet again.
Good night, Blogger.
Good night, Twitter,
Good night Facebook,
Good night Fitbit
and Good Night LoseIt!
Monday, April 7, 2014
It's That Nervous Time Of Year Again
Time for schizophrenic weather that starts out sunny and pleasant and turns deadly ugly in what feels like an instant. Oklahoma in the Springtime. Beautiful, and can be extremely terrifying.
It's the time of year when we check the batteries in all the flashlights & the weather radios, update the documents stored on our SURVIVOR flash drives, clean out our hidey-holes, and keep a wary eye on the horizon.
No severe weather in the offing today, but there are some spectacular clouds out there. Sun keeps coming and going. The sky to the East of us right now is ugly gunmetal gray. Looks like points East are getting stormed on. We have had thunder in the last few minutes.
I am a California girl. I grew up keeping a pair of hard soled slip on shoes under my bed where I could grab them and put them on quickly in case of earthquake. I had a sturdy desk (I still have it!) that I could hide under so as not to be hit by falling debris. I wish it were that easy to ride out a tornado. Tornadoes are worse because of all the weather forecaster drama that goes on before they even show up. Trying to figure out where they are going is nerve wracking. Earthquakes just show up. No advance drama. They're just THERE.
Tornadoes require crawling into the smallest, most reinforced space in your house, or a shelter, if you are lucky enough to have come up with enough money to get one. I do NOT want to go underground. Sorry. Too many geology classes and too much claustrophobia. The closet is bad enough. I really hate it, and I put off getting in there until the absolute last second. I throw all the stuff in there and we sort of sit on it/ hang onto it. (I sit on the firesafe lockbox that has all our ppw in it. I also plan to scan the most important papers and put them on the flash drive.) I don't take all the clothes out of the closet, figuring that all that cloth could be good protection. (Except my shoes will likely fall on our heads.)
The closet is heavily reinforced with prayer, and I do believe in the power of prayer. I also have my tablet computer, and my phone and keep track of the storm as long as the wifi lasts. Also keep in touch with my friends all over the world. That's what I did last year. My friends kept asking for updates, and that kept me sane. Matt was still at work, so I was in that closet all alone except for my online friends.
I was really upset last year because on May 20th, I had just grocery shopped. A month's worth of groceries had just been put away when the warning hit. I was just SURE the tornado would come and wipe out the house just because I had just put the groceries away. Fortunately, that did not happen. Tornado went around us and farther south. In 99 it went north of us. On May 31st, it also went north AND one went south of us. Yes, prayer works.
The whole town is a bit twitchy this time of year, especially as it has been less than a year since our last tango with tornadoes here in Moore. Everybody watches the skies on days like this, and listens for the weather warning alarms. Most of us at the library will have the weather radar up on our computers. I have a warning alarm app on my phone, we have portable weather radios in the house, we also have walkie talkies in case the cell service goes out. (Have those at each desk in the library as well.)
So, here we are facing another storm season. I guess I am about as nervous as the rest of the folks in town. We will just pray that there will be at least 10 years with no big tornadoes. May all the fierce storms stay out in the uninhabited areas where nobody will get hurt. Please.
It's the time of year when we check the batteries in all the flashlights & the weather radios, update the documents stored on our SURVIVOR flash drives, clean out our hidey-holes, and keep a wary eye on the horizon.
No severe weather in the offing today, but there are some spectacular clouds out there. Sun keeps coming and going. The sky to the East of us right now is ugly gunmetal gray. Looks like points East are getting stormed on. We have had thunder in the last few minutes.
I am a California girl. I grew up keeping a pair of hard soled slip on shoes under my bed where I could grab them and put them on quickly in case of earthquake. I had a sturdy desk (I still have it!) that I could hide under so as not to be hit by falling debris. I wish it were that easy to ride out a tornado. Tornadoes are worse because of all the weather forecaster drama that goes on before they even show up. Trying to figure out where they are going is nerve wracking. Earthquakes just show up. No advance drama. They're just THERE.
Tornadoes require crawling into the smallest, most reinforced space in your house, or a shelter, if you are lucky enough to have come up with enough money to get one. I do NOT want to go underground. Sorry. Too many geology classes and too much claustrophobia. The closet is bad enough. I really hate it, and I put off getting in there until the absolute last second. I throw all the stuff in there and we sort of sit on it/ hang onto it. (I sit on the firesafe lockbox that has all our ppw in it. I also plan to scan the most important papers and put them on the flash drive.) I don't take all the clothes out of the closet, figuring that all that cloth could be good protection. (Except my shoes will likely fall on our heads.)
The closet is heavily reinforced with prayer, and I do believe in the power of prayer. I also have my tablet computer, and my phone and keep track of the storm as long as the wifi lasts. Also keep in touch with my friends all over the world. That's what I did last year. My friends kept asking for updates, and that kept me sane. Matt was still at work, so I was in that closet all alone except for my online friends.
I was really upset last year because on May 20th, I had just grocery shopped. A month's worth of groceries had just been put away when the warning hit. I was just SURE the tornado would come and wipe out the house just because I had just put the groceries away. Fortunately, that did not happen. Tornado went around us and farther south. In 99 it went north of us. On May 31st, it also went north AND one went south of us. Yes, prayer works.
The whole town is a bit twitchy this time of year, especially as it has been less than a year since our last tango with tornadoes here in Moore. Everybody watches the skies on days like this, and listens for the weather warning alarms. Most of us at the library will have the weather radar up on our computers. I have a warning alarm app on my phone, we have portable weather radios in the house, we also have walkie talkies in case the cell service goes out. (Have those at each desk in the library as well.)
So, here we are facing another storm season. I guess I am about as nervous as the rest of the folks in town. We will just pray that there will be at least 10 years with no big tornadoes. May all the fierce storms stay out in the uninhabited areas where nobody will get hurt. Please.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
For A Good Mood, Listen To This Band
I got to attend a concert on Saturday night. It was SO good. A group I really enjoy, and a great venue. Who knew our local Civic Center Music Hall in OKC was such a great place? I just don't get out enough...
Anyway, we got to see Pink Martini in concert. This is a joyful experience that everyone should have! PLEASE, if you find out they are going to be playing anywhere near you, GO SEE THEM!! The show they put on is SO much fun. They are obviously having a great time making music, and they want to share this with you. Let them.
In the mean time, I strongly recommend purchasing their albums. The music is varied, it is lush, it is gorgeous. This is a group of very talented musicians. I cannot believe that we had never heard about them before last year. A Twitter friend shared a link to their YouTube page, and that was all it took, I was HOOKED!! Matt has also become hooked on them. I've gotten some of my coworkers started listening to them. I put my Amazon Cloud Player on at work on Thursdays when I am there, and Pink Martini is a big part of my mix. My mix is VERY eclectic, and even the younger ones working there find my mix amusing. They all seem to wander around humming something from Pink Martini, though.
The Von Trapps were with them when we saw them, as they are featured on the most recent release, Dream A Little Dream. The four Von Trapps sing so very well together. Harmonies are gorgeous. The original songs they presented were VERY good, and they blended well with the rest of the band on old favorites, too.
Thomas Lauderdale is the one who started the band, and his talent is so very evident, also his appreciation of and ability to use the talents of others. To watch him play piano is entertaining all by itself.
China Forbes is the lead singer with this group. She has an amazing voice, and an uncanny ability to sing in almost any language, and do it well.
I had such a good time at the concert, and I always have a good time with their music playing.
These are the albums I own. I love them all, I don't really have a favorite. I can highly recommend any of them to get you started. '78 is China Forbes' solo album, and it is also excellent. (Pictured above also.)
I think Pink Martini's music has helped me hear more in other things I listen to. I have found sight-reading and learning new arias or choral pieces to be easier since I started listening to this group.
The things I have been working on for church and for my voice coach not easy pieces, but they are clicking in my brain a bit easier than they were.
That's about all my tired brain can come up with this evening, but I do want to stress how much I enjoy Pink Martini's music, and I do hope if you haven't listened before, you will find their YouTube channel and listen, and maybe go to Amazon, or even Pink Martini's own website and buy some albums. You won't be sorry.
Anyway, we got to see Pink Martini in concert. This is a joyful experience that everyone should have! PLEASE, if you find out they are going to be playing anywhere near you, GO SEE THEM!! The show they put on is SO much fun. They are obviously having a great time making music, and they want to share this with you. Let them.
In the mean time, I strongly recommend purchasing their albums. The music is varied, it is lush, it is gorgeous. This is a group of very talented musicians. I cannot believe that we had never heard about them before last year. A Twitter friend shared a link to their YouTube page, and that was all it took, I was HOOKED!! Matt has also become hooked on them. I've gotten some of my coworkers started listening to them. I put my Amazon Cloud Player on at work on Thursdays when I am there, and Pink Martini is a big part of my mix. My mix is VERY eclectic, and even the younger ones working there find my mix amusing. They all seem to wander around humming something from Pink Martini, though.
 | |
| My concert book and the Hey Eugene cd that the group signed for us. |
The Von Trapps were with them when we saw them, as they are featured on the most recent release, Dream A Little Dream. The four Von Trapps sing so very well together. Harmonies are gorgeous. The original songs they presented were VERY good, and they blended well with the rest of the band on old favorites, too.
Thomas Lauderdale is the one who started the band, and his talent is so very evident, also his appreciation of and ability to use the talents of others. To watch him play piano is entertaining all by itself.
China Forbes is the lead singer with this group. She has an amazing voice, and an uncanny ability to sing in almost any language, and do it well.
I had such a good time at the concert, and I always have a good time with their music playing.
I think Pink Martini's music has helped me hear more in other things I listen to. I have found sight-reading and learning new arias or choral pieces to be easier since I started listening to this group.
The things I have been working on for church and for my voice coach not easy pieces, but they are clicking in my brain a bit easier than they were.
That's about all my tired brain can come up with this evening, but I do want to stress how much I enjoy Pink Martini's music, and I do hope if you haven't listened before, you will find their YouTube channel and listen, and maybe go to Amazon, or even Pink Martini's own website and buy some albums. You won't be sorry.
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