The Rest of the Birthday Vacation

Thursday, February 26, 2015
 I tried to get in touch with my voice coach today, but her phone appears to be having a problem.
I did get to go out and share some of the joy that I have been given.
I've taken one walk, and am about to take another.
Goofing off when you're on vacation is mandatory.

Having a husband who loves to cook is such a nice thing when you'd really like to put your feet up before dinner.  When he cleans up his own dishes, it's a marriage made in Heaven!!

A nice glass of Merlot from Canadian River Vineyards and Winery is a very good thing at the end of a busy day.

Doing things to make other people smile is the MOST fun there is!
I had such a good day yesterday, I was out spreading the joy today, and I think I succeeded...

And my darling husband made such wonderful spaghetti sauce that I ate more than I should have and feel rather like a beach ball at the moment.  It was SO good!

It's supposed to snow starting tomorrow and lasting all weekend.  Goody.  We're usually done with this crap by now...
Not supposed to be more than an inch or so total snow tomorrow, though.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Got up at 7:18 today.  Still haven't gotten much done.  Did try the recipe I was toying with for the sesame sticks.  Made those chocolate haystack cookies, but with sesame sticks.  Probably more calories, but a bit more nutrition and fiber, too.

Did some light cleaning, just finished 90 minutes on the elliptical, and am still trying to digest the news that Leonard Nimoy has passed on.  He will be missed.  Mr. Shatner, Mr. Takei, Mr. Koenig and Ms. Nichols are the only original cast left.  I'm guessing Mr. Nimoy, Mr. Kelley, Mrs. Roddenberry,  and Mr. Doohan are having one heck of a fun reunion party about now.  For fans, these actors, and the characters they helped create, are dear friends, family even.  We care about them, and we miss them when they pass on to whatever is next.  (I tend to believe in Heaven, and if my friends and my pets aren't there, then it isn't Heaven.  The God I love wouldn't do that to me.  They're HIS friends and pets, too.)

As I gaze out my office window, I see that there is a very light, dry snow falling.  Doesn't appear to be sticking to anything yet.
Time to go get cleaned up and see what other kind of trouble I can get into on my last official day of vacation.

On this day when we have lost Leonard Nimoy, and we remember that Jimmy Doohan and DeForrest Kelley are also gone, it makes me really conscious of the passing of time.  I just had a birthday.  That means I and all my siblings are older.  That much closer to the end.  I don't want to lose any of them.  Worst, suckiest thing about being the baby is that everybody else is older and liable to leave you behind in one way or another.  I don't want them to go.  I have friends my own age, and friends who are older.  I have younger ones, too.  No guarantees about who goes first, but damn, I don't want to live without any of my friends, or my loved ones.  Photos someone shared on Facebook brought it all home.  I don't wanna be the one at the empty table.

This was shared on Facebook by Chris Cracknell.  Very moving.

 

 

 

 

So please, friends, take good care of yourselves.  I know my siblings will try to take care of themselves.  Thoughts and prayers are with those left behind today.  Remember that love never dies, and those we love live on even though we don't find them in this world anymore.  Still, it's hard to get used to the change, isn't it?

Some Reflections and Observations on the Fifth Anniversary of My Eleventh Birthday

(Or the 11th Anniversary of my 5th birthday, whichever way you'd rather multiply it.  The age remains the same.)

I have so many dear, kind, and wonderful friends.  I am TRULY blessed.  I have teared up several times today because of the kind words and deeds of my friends.  I feel so very fortunate, and so very spoiled. And so very loved beyond all reason.

Even when I try not to obsess about my birthday, I end up wallowing in it.  Oh, I'm not worried so much about how old I'm getting, (but OMG!!) rather how much I end up thinking and talking about it.  Perhaps this is because I was the baby by so many years.  My birthday was always a big deal.  (And then the oldest one starting doing the math, somewhere around 1985, and started saying "If you're x, that means I'm...Oh, dear God, let's not EVEN talk about THAT!"  He's 16 years older.  You do the math. ;-) )

Sometimes, making your own birthday cake, and taking it somewhere to share, is more fun than letting someone else make it.

The Cake.  Complete, and ready to go be shared with starving choristers.

I like to bake anyway, and this recipe sounded like fun.  It was, and I learned that you can't wait too long to use a ganache type frosting, or it will get crumbly. 

It tastes marvelous, though.








So, this morning, I finished preparing the cake and made the frosting.  I took a lovely walk while the frosting cooled.

The neighborhood kiddos are off to school.  The kids around a few years ago really loved Mr. Bear when we were out walking in the mornings.  I miss that dog.

It was a beautiful morning, and I am so grateful for the lovely weather.  What a nice birthday gift, based on the weather Monday, and what has been predicted for from Friday on.  So nice to have had this glorious, beautiful day.

I came home, and decided to have a special breakfast before I tackled cake assembly.

I reheated some sourdough pancakes, scrambled myself an egg, and tried out the espresso cheese I bought last night.  I also had my orange juice in my Perlman mug.  (That is, a mug with a lot of pictures of Perlman's mug on it.  A gift for my birthday from my pal Kelly.) I love it.

While I was eating, I checked my Twitter feed.  I found a link to this Instagram post:

This, along with MANY posts from my friends and family, really made my day!  So much love.  (Kelly, the one who sent the mug, is on the left in this picture, which was made when we all met in Dallas in 2013.)

After breakfast, I frosted and assembled the cake.  After resting up from that, I did a few dishes, and got myself cleaned up.

This is the outfit I wore, my dark wash Levis, (size 6!) and my new sweater from Target. (With a turquoise tank top underneath.)

Thus arrayed, I gathered up the recycling, and set out to do that one chore, and then shop!

My especially sweet and loving husband had told me to buy something I wanted/needed and consider that my gift from him.  So, I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and got some new walking shoes.  (Okay, I also got two pair of really nice leggings for working out and walking.  One flare leg, and one fitted.)

After that stop, I walked next door to Target, and found a few odds and ends, like a yoga mat, some hand cream, and a new suitcase to replace the roll-along carry-on that Matt had.  (It died finally, after a long and thoroughly useful life.)

This is the hand cream I bought.  I thought it was very appropriate, me being a "coconut", and all ;-)  It smells wonderful.  Delicious, even.




After I made my Target purchases, I headed over to Kohl's, one of the best places to score bargains on clothes and household linens.  I didn't really NEED any new clothes, but I thought it couldn't hurt to look.  I found several things, including two new shirts for Matt.  Everything I bought was on clearance, and I had an "extra 15%off" coupon they had sent me in the mail.  I spent $112, but I got more than $200 worth of items.  Kohl's always has good deals.

This was my full cargo area when I got home with it.  After I got it all in the house, I set out the items from Kohl's on the bed to go through them.   Then I tried on the dress that I only paid $10.00 for.  I had tried it on in the store, but without the shapewear I found to go with it.  Below is how the dress looks on me.  It's a bit snug on the top.  Will probably wear one of my fancy shawls with it when I wear it out in public.  I love the color, though, and you can't beat the price!

After I got all the stuff I bought put away or sorted out to wash, I put workout clothes on and headed out for another walk.  No pictures this time, because the phone battery was in dire need of charging.

Right after I got changed, the doorbell rang.  There was a nice lady from the florist there with a lovely arrangement of flowers.  My dear friend Fi and her husband Geoff and her son Hayden sent me a beautiful bouquet of aromatic flowers for my birthday.  I am so touched by the kindness of all my friends, but this almost made me cry.  So very sweet, and so very beautiful.  Almost as beautiful as Fi's heart.  I love that girl.  We've never met in person, but we have a real connection as people, in spite of distance.  I owe her about a dozen hugs when we DO meet in person.

When I got home from my walk, my wonderful, loving, and long-suffering husband was home waiting for me.  His hugs and kisses are always the best thing.  Especially nice on my birthday, since we've missed a few of those over the years due to deployments, training, and regular airlift missions. All these years since he retired have been making up for the time we missed.  He's aged, of course, and so have I, but this is how I still see him, my Knight In Smelly Flightsuit.

He highly approves of the new dress, and the exercise leggings I bought.  (Anything form-fitting, and he's happy.  Some things NEVER change! ;-) )


We had a nice, light supper of Caesar Salad and grilled chicken breast, because we knew the cake after choir rehearsal was going to be RICH.  It was.  Oh, so very delicious.  Proud of my efforts in that regard. 
The choir sang Happy Birthday to me, which is a tradition in our bunch.  (This is the 19th birthday I've celebrated since joining this choir.  Hard to believe it has been so long.  That's a lot of Sunday services sung, a lot of Christmases and Lents and Holy Weeks and Easters.  I spend more time with these gifted musicians than I do with my family on holidays. )  I really love St. Paul's and I am especially fond of my fellow choristers.  The blend we can achieve, it is transporting, moving, absolutely magical sometimes.  I am SO very fortunate to be able to sing with this group.

The choir (and our fearless leader, Canon Musician H. Scott Raab) dug in to the cake, and managed to eat most of it, by taking slices home to spouses and other family members.  I'm all for that, I have to still be able to wear that $10 dress I bought!!

Here's what we have left of the cake:

I am grateful to my fellow choristers (and Scott!)  for their willingness to save me from my own birthday cake! 

So, now I'm home, and typing up this blog post so I can remember all the wonderful parts of one of the best birthdays I've ever had!  Sitting here listening to Pink Martini, and drinking a dry Martini.  Life is SO good.

This has been a busy day.  I have a few ideas about how to use tomorrow in my quest to share and spread the joy I have been gifted with.  I won't be detailing those little activities.  I think random kindnesses are best done in secret.  (Do not blow trumpets when you give your offering, as some do, for truly, they have received their reward.  Do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing, and your Father who sees in secret, will see your gift, and your reward will be stored up for you in Heaven.  -A very rough paraphrase, but that's the idea, anyway.)  

The reason I write blog posts like this is so that I can look back in the future and remember all the wonderful things that happened on this special day.  It has indeed been a special day, made so by the love of my friends.  Many thoughtful friends who took the time to send their love and best wishes my way.  From a busy actor (and I mean he's SERIOUSLY busy right now) who took time to send me a birthday greeting, to all the friends and family near and far who sent messages, cards, gifts, and most importantly their love.  That love is what keeps me from having any serious self pity and depression any more.  When I was younger, I was very fond of self-pity.  For no good reason, I've had a very blessed life, but it was easy to fool myself on this score.  No longer.  Friends on social media, around the world make it impossible for me to feel so alone anymore.  People ask after me when I am not online.  All of us #Perlgirls check on each other, and we try to keep track of our favorite actor, too.  We care about the guy.  He makes us laugh.  He's good people.  Really.  He stands by his values, and he remembers his friends.  He appreciates his long time fans. 

 I also happen to work for one of the best public institutions going.  Our library system is always looking for new ways to bring our customers what they need and want to improve the quality of their lives.  Things to read, watch, listen to, programs to teach them things, or give them the opportunity to explore issues, a place to meet, a place where it's safe to just sit and hang out, a place where you can ask just about any question, and not only will your privacy be respected, but no one will look down their nose at you for asking.  The people I work with are all smart, funny, quirky, friendly, and caring.  They are also absolutely dedicated to your freedom to read.  Library work is a lot like teaching in that you don't go into it expecting to make a bunch of money.  This isn't a job, it's a holy calling.  Education, intellectual freedom, and the maintenance of an important community resource are what we value.  Very proud to be a part of such a great institution. 

So, time to wrap this up.  Birthday Vacation Week still has a couple of days left in it.  Perhaps a voice lesson will happen, perhaps a trip to the car dealer to get the oil changed, all depending on what the weather does Friday.  (Guess I better get cracking tomorrow on that list.) 

Thank you my friends,including Ron Perlman, whom I DO consider a friend,  my family, my coworkers, and especially Matthew, for making this such a lovely day for me.  I am SO happy.  I don't know if I'll ever stop smiling. 



“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Celebrating A Feast In A Time Of Fasting

This Sunday's lunch: Sourdough pancakes, bacon, and mixed berries with orange juice.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

For most of my life, my birthday has fallen during Lent.  Only once in a great while is my birthday before Lent.  This year is no different.  Here we are in the first full week of Lent, and my birthday will fall exactly one week after Ash Wednesday.  When I was a kid, it wasn't really a big deal, my Presbyterian family wasn't overly concerned with Lent.  (We did sometimes have parties on Sunday afternoons because then my Catholic friends could come.) Since becoming an Episcopalian, I have not really changed how I celebrate my birthday, but I have come to appreciate the small pleasures of celebration a bit more.  Sundays are always feast days, even during Lent.  So, having a nice brunch after church is not a problem.  Birthdays are also an exception, I believe, at least for me.  To have a special meal, a cake perhaps, is a nice way to mark the occasion without being too loud about it.  

Lent is after all more about spiritual discipline than physical discipline.  Denying oneself certain foods or certain activities only has value if it does something to sharpen your spiritual awareness.  Does it make me more conscious of the needs of others? Does it help me to be kinder and more tolerant? Can I brighten someone's life with the time/money I save by abstaining from my favorite things?  

For me, being able to share the joy of the company of friends and family, and acknowledging their importance in my life is the important part of any celebration, especially a celebration of another year of life.  

So, as this Sunday runs down, I am getting ready to finish the last of the laundry, and get ready for sleep.  Then, tomorrow, weather permitting, I will get some of my usual Monday things done.  Don't think I'm going to make it out to the commissary, but I can go Tuesday. Maybe.

Monday, February 23, 2015

  Two days before my birthday, and we have snow.  So, instead of being able to do the grocery shopping or to go to my voice lesson, I spent today being lazy, finishing a little laundry, reading, doing 90 minutes on the elliptical, and I will get voice practice and a grocery list completed before I sleep tonight, so I can possibly go to the base to shop tomorrow.  

Today's mail brought more birthday greetings, and my email a nice photo collage of "some of my favorites" from a fellow Perlgirl.  

The only thing that feels like Lent around here today is the weather.  It is cold and snowy,and while it looks pretty, it makes driving anywhere, or even a walk to the mailbox, a dangerous proposition.  Mostly because of the sleet under the snow.  (Not very good traction  for the unwary or those who hurry too much.)
I am thinking that this year, instead of being so focused on my birthday, perhaps it is a good excuse to give to others.  I shall have to come up with sneaky ways to do little things to brighten the day for someone else.  That would be good as a Lenten practice, and it would feel good to help others, too.  Won't be telling you about it in any detail, because that just spoils it. 

Some housework was also done today, so that for once I feel like I'm keeping up with it.  My "Christmas Cactus" is still blooming.  The while one just finished, and the red one is blooming again.  Three whole blooms, but it's better than last year!

Matt is busy making "cauliflower crack" ,  the roasted cauliflower that all of us were eating as an appetizer as soon as it came out of the oven on Saturday.  Ooh!  That stuff is SO good, and it's fairly low-cal, too.  I'll be back after I enjoy some!

It was delicious!  Matthew spoils me something awful.  Now I'm going to make some real, all-butter, honest to gosh Scottish Shortbread for our dessert.  May even dip it in chocolate.  Because:  Birthday Week!  (But yes, it is still Lent, and I should restrain myself from too many indulgences...)

There is also the matter of a grocery list to be planned and written, and the coupons to be found.  Voice practice needs to happen too, so I can see what all I can do when I haven't had allergy meds for almost a week.
Well, the voice practice didn't happen.  It's too late now, and I have to get to bed.  Got the shortbread made, though.  Here's hoping for clear enough roads to drive on tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The trip to the commissary was not too bad.  Got all my shopping done, roads were not bad at all, talked to my Mom on the phone and got my short elliptical stint in before I ventured out.  (Made sure roads had time to clear, and people who had to work were already there before I left home.)
Matt and I ate dinner at the Saltgrass Steakhouse, and then stopped at our favorite liquor store, Moore Liquor, for some chocolate stout to make my birthday cake with.  Went to the larger Crest store on 27th and Penn for some other stuff.  So, now, at 8:30 pm, I get to make my own birthday cake.
Oh, and my FitBit One is going bonkers on me.  Showing yesterday's numbers PLUS today's for my daily totals.  Hope it calms down by tonight.  I'm leaving it on its charger for now.

Am about halfway through the Chocolate Stout Cake preparation.  Waiting on the stout/butter/cocoa mixture to cool so it won't pre-cook the eggs and curdle the sour cream when I add it to them. 

Here's the recipe for the Chocolate Stout Cake

It's a King Arthur Flour recipe.  Should be good.  I'll let you know tomorrow after choir practice.  The mixture of the stout and melted butter and dark cocoa smells divine. 

This is the stout and melted butter getting ready for the cocoa

Here's my beginning set up for the cake...

The cake is in the oven now.  I'm going to go hit  the elliptical trainer for a little while and then check on it when the timer goes off.  I'm going to be cruel and leave this post here.  I will post more about the cake tomorrow.

We'll see if I succeed in celebrating a feast while still remembering that it is, in fact, Lent, a season of self-denial and spiritual quest.

Let The Wild Revels Begin!

Me and my best friend, lover, husband: Matthew.  Long ago and far away.

 Friday, February 20th

My work week is done, that means that my Birthday Vacation Week has officially begun!  Not much exciting stuff planned, but some fun stuff.  Friends coming over tomorrow for braised short ribs, got an early birthday present in the mail today, Contemplating whether or not to make a birthday cake this year.

Saturday, February 21st

Got up and cleaned house this morning.  Still have to work out and start laundry before friends arrive at "5-ish".  Matt is busy cooking.
Got another birthday present in the mail today.  The other Perlgirls are spoiling me.  Now I have to figure out how to spoil them back.
The dinner this evening was FABULOUS!  Dear Husband has outdone himself!  Beef short ribs braised in wine, with carrots and onions, butternut squash soup, roasted cauliflower, Gratin Daphinois (of potatoes with Gruyere).  SO good!  Also, had the company of very good friends, and poundcake and berries for dessert.
Had a Mustang Brewing Co. Washita Wheat Beer before dinner, and some very nice Shiraz from our friends at Canadian River Winery and Vineyards with dinner.  Had some herb tea with dessert, and used the birthday gift my friend Kelly sent for the tea.  (A mug covered with pictures of my favorite actor's mug!)

They are threatening us with nasty winter precipitation starting tomorrow into Monday.  I sincerely hope it doesn't come on very strong.  I would like freedom to travel around the area on my birthday week.  (Also, I'd really prefer to do the commissary trip on Monday if I can, but since I'm off work this week, I could easily go another day.)

Even though it is Birthday Vacation Week, I will still need to do laundry tomorrow.  Sigh.  Laundry never sleeps.  It just keeps sitting there piling up on you until you run out of clean underwear.

Getting ready to close this out and head for sleep.  Before I go, a little poem:

Treasures
As time goes by
It seems to me
That though I try
To let you all  see
How much I care
I cannot express
Or easily share
The happiness
The laughter,
The joy
You bring to my life.
Dear friends,
Know that no
Material things
Can ever mean
As much to me
As the joy of your
Friendship does.
Your kindness
Overwhelms me
The fact that you
Are there when I
Need cheering up
That you let me
Cheer you up, too,
The give and take,
The laughter
And the tears
Are things I will keep
In my heart
And treasure
For YEARS.

All my love to my wonderful Matthew, our dear friends Mike and Nancy Rogers, and Mary, Kelly, Fi, Mallory, Jana, Linda, Paulette, Patti, Chloe, Anna, Marie, Amy, and Brina (the Perlgirls),
and of course, Julie D, Megan, Grace, Aaron, Darrin, Sally, Emily, Annette, Heather, MaryM, Molly, Shannon, and all the other wonderful, talented, and dedicated people I work with.  Life is good.
Katie

This Year It's "Double Nickles"

Yes, another birthday is bearing down on me.  Next week.  Halfway through my fifties.  They say "Fifty is the new 30!"  but most mornings, my body agrees with my friend Mr. Perlman: "Fifty may be the new 30, but sixty is still fuckin' 60!" 
In other words, nothing is quite as easy as it once was.  The body doesn't respond as well or as quickly to physical challenges, your mind may not be quite as quick as it once was.  (In my case, anyway, this is directly attributable to the fact that I wake several times a night certain that I am being roasted alive.  Aging, especially if you are a woman, is not for sissies, my dears.)

On the other hand, there is something liberating about being "older".  You may find that what other people think isn't quite as important as it once was.  You may well be more comfortable in your own skin now, even if it is rather wrinkly in places.  True, I no longer cause young men to walk into the backs of parked cars, (as my father alleged I once did when washing my car in our driveway while wearing my bathing suit) but I still look good.  Most of the time, I feel young.  I don't have anyone constantly reminding me that I'm actually old.  (Sorry Mom, but you wanted to have a baby when you were 36.  Lucky you, you had a teenaged girl in the house when you were struggling with menopause.  You were far braver than I ever was.)

There are reminders of my actual age everywhere, though.  Songs I listened to on Top 40 radio (which no longer even exists, I don't believe) in high school and college now populate the "oldies" stations.  Classic jazz artists and big band music that my parents loved (and I reviled as a teen for that very reason) are now very appealing to me.  I have grown up enough to appreciate them, to hear the artistry present in them.  There are events I remember watching play out on the Nightly News that the younger folks I work with learn about in History class. 

One thing that will keep you young, though, is a passion for learning new things.  Staying engaged with life, learning how to use new technology, reading new authors, listening to music you might have passed on before, and having an interest or two to pursue can keep you going.  My singing is an interest that challenges me and keeps me working toward  improving my skills and learning more about music, my job is endlessly fascinating in the myriad of new challenges, new skills to learn and share with others. 

You see, that's what my job is really all about.  Keeping people connected to the resources they need to live a full and well informed life.  Libraries do that.  We provide entertainment, education, opportunities to enjoy programs on various subjects, access to materials that you may need for work or school, even physical fitness programs.  Libraries also provide to you a group of professionals who are dedicated to maintaining your right to access those materials, and helping you access them.  Most of them are also dedicated to being a vital part of your community, too.

That's what keeps me young.  Getting to go hang out with some of the smartest, coolest, funniest people in town every day.  My fellow staffers are great at their jobs, and they are interesting people, too.  Many of our customers are pretty cool, too.  Having to use technology in my job keeps me up to speed on it for the most part, and social media may be one of my guilty pleasures, but it helps me stay current with the culture, and keep up with many of the people I really care about.

So, all I have to do is survive this coming week, doctor visit tomorrow and all, and then I have a week off, during which I will celebrate that birthday that's breathing down my neck.  I have no idea what we'll do.  We may see a movie, we may eat out, maybe have friends over, I don't know.  I do know that on my actual birthday, I'll be at choir practice, so I suppose I could make a cake to take and share. Whatever we do, I will be grateful for another year of this life.  Sometimes, it seems difficult to slog through, and I feel like I'm messing everything up, other times, it feels pretty damn wonderful.  My family, my husband, and my friends both here and far away, are the best birthday presents ever.  The love I have surrounding me is the greatest gift I can imagine.  I hope I succeed in sharing it with you, because that's the only thing to do with love: share it. 

Yes, It's Been Monday All Day

To begin with, I woke up with a bit of a headache, and got a slow start on the day. 
The workouts I normally do were all accomplished, no problem.
I got a few chores done.
I have NO idea where the rest of my morning and early afternoon went.

Voice lesson was not as successful as the last two because I had sinus issues that were causing irritation, and therefore problems with my upper range.  (No nice, clear high notes today.)

At this point in the late evening, I am well into the 12 to 14 hours of fasting I must do before they draw blood for my annual cholesterol, glucose, etc screenings.  Haven't had any alcohol for five days, can't have anything but water tonight and tomorrow morning until they get the blood drawn.  I'm gonna be a serious bitch tomorrow morning.  No caffeine. Yikes.  Hope I don't really have to deal with anyone until after I'm allowed some caffeine. Driving while decaffeinated may be interesting as well.  There also may be the small issue of a withdrawal headache.
It could well be that tomorrow will feel even more like Monday than today has.  (Especially for the lab people who have to deal with me when I've had NO caffeine!)

Musing On Soprano Things

I started this journey with my voice 12, almost 13 years ago.  The singer I had leaned on a lot was leaving our choir, and I felt insecure.  So, I started taking lessons from the same vocal coach that she studied with.  This set me on a journey of self discovery that has caused changes in more areas of my life than just my singing.

Friends have commented that I seem to have more confidence in myself, I am less likely to sit back and let others carry conversations.  Friends who have heard me sing are also sometimes astonished that it was ME they heard singing. 

Twelve years ago, I had a light, unsupported, unremarkable singing voice.  Nice enough, OK for choral work, nothing to write home about.  Then I started taking voice lessons with Karen Smith-Pearson.  I discovered the great literature of Grand Opera, and classics beyond church music.  I also discovered some of the great oratorios that I thought would always be beyond my skills.  I also rediscovered show tunes.

For my first recital, I sang Oh, What A Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma! .  That was very difficult for me, not technically, but as far as my confidence and my nerves were concerned.  After it was over, and I realized how well I had truly done, I was energized.  The high you get from singing well, and truly feeling it, there is NOTHING like it!  I wanted to do it again!

Over the last twelve years, I have worked very hard (with Karen's skillful help and patience) and I have seen my range  increase, my voice gain resonance, power, luster, even a little vibrato when needed.  Sounds have come out of  my mouth that I never, ever thought I could correctly produce. 
For recital, I have sung pieces from Mozart, Offenbach, Handel, and Donizetti.  I still marvel that I sang the Doll Aria from Tales of Hoffmann and didn't crash and burn. 
This last recital, it was a Holiday recital, so I sang a piece from Handel's Messiah.  "Rejoice Greatly, O Daughter Of Zion."  Karen and I had BOTH had issues with this piece, the runs were a particular challenge.  Everything came together at performance time, and it was one of those shining, rare, flying moments when you get lost in the music, and the music takes you up to the heavens.  It was truly a great feeling. 

 Since the recital, I have had another breakthrough with my vocal development.  The resonance and depth of my upper register has increased, and I have actually been able to sing a few coloratura pieces without squeaking all the high notes.  (The Minnie Mouse on helium effect.  NOT desirable.)  SO glad to finally be able to get past that pinched off place, at least most of the time.  No, now my high notes sound like real, resounding, grown up high notes.  At least more often than not.

It DOES do wonders for one's self confidence to know that one has such an instrument of power at one's disposal.  My t-shirt that says "Keep calm or I'll use my Opera Voice" is not an idle threat.  My opera voice could hurt you.  ;-)

I realize that I do not have a great voice, merely a good one, but I have so much more than I ever dreamed I'd have.  Practice isn't boring, isn't work, it's a challenge, it's fun, unlike the frustration piano practice always was for me.  Singing truly takes me to another place, another time, takes me out of myself, really gives my soul wings.

Make no mistake, singing properly IS work!  It can be damned HARD work, but it is SO rewarding! When the notes come out right, when the pinched place finally opens up, the wonders, the joys you can find in that beautiful sound make it all worthwhile.  You share that joy and beauty with others, it magnifies it, multiplies it, makes the whole universe shine.

There is still a LOT for me to learn.  I told Karen I feel like I'm still trying to learn how to walk in these high heels.  This sound isn't secure and locked down yet.  Lots more practice required to get the rough edges off, get the muscles used to putting the sound in the right place, get the breath pressure correct.

I am SO looking forward to the process; for I know the end result will be glorious.

The journey continues...