The Time When Hell Manifests Itself On Earth - OR- August in Oklahoma

August around here is tough on all of us, but especially the plants in the garden.  One day without a good soaking, and they start to wither.

The four large herb/ flower beds in the NW corner of the yard.

As you can see in this photo, the once lush herb and flower beds have suffered greatly from the heat.  I do water as faithfully as I can, but they still don't get quite enough water or protection from the horrible, unrelenting August sun.

The main herb bed in the middle of the yard.

The largest and oldest of our raised beds, the one we usually call the herb garden, is doing fairly well, but still showing signs of distress.

Four Square Beds On South Side of Yard

The newest of the raised beds, the four square ones on the south side of the back yard, are all looking a bit bedraggled, but nothing like those on the north side.  The heat and sunlight are just too much for those New Guinea Impatiens I had in those North beds.

Clouds that made some noise

Though there were some clouds to the west that made a bit of noise today, I didn't believe their idle threats, and continued watering the plants.  Good thing I did, because a few minutes later...

There was blue sky and sunshine again.

Though I wished we could have had some wonderful, refreshing rain, the clouds and blue skies did offer some lovely scenery whilst I sat on the porch with my beer waiting for the roses to drink the water from the hose.

This last couple of weeks have been kind of depressing.  Always about this time of year I get sick of the heat and the unrelenting sun, and start wishing for cool, crisp breezes, and to be able to wear my sweaters again, and maybe to survive a whole night without waking up sweating. (That hasn't so much to do with the weather, but hot weather DOES make it worse...)

Here are some passages from my journal writings recently:

August 8
I have been appreciated for something I have done.  It is always good to know one is appreciated.  Still, I have not heard from someone I would like to hear from, but it really doesn't matter.  To know that what I did made someone happy is enough
(Is is weird that I no longer am exactly sure what I wrote this about?)

August 16
How often we tell one another we're "fine" when asked how we are.
How often it's a half-truth.
We don't care to tell casually the discomforts and fears that make us manifestly NOT fine.
My own catalog includes a digestion that gets hijacked twice a year or so by my allergies.  I get what I always called a "green apple bellyache".  Nothing but acid reducers and Gas Ex can kill it.  Seems to go away after a few days.  Always shows up when my sinuses are unhappy because of the allergies.
Also on my list of gripes against the Universe, my thumbs are peeling again, and my cuticles are sore. Nails are a bit worn down, and I've had to start oil treatments to remedy all these little ills with my hands.
Not to mention  the knuckle where my right index finger joins my hand is all upset with me because I over stressed it trying to open a jar the other day.  Still a bit tender, but the swelling has gone down almost completely.

There's been a red-tailed hawk out looking for lunch every day I've walked lately.  First time I've seen one that regularly in the neighborhood for a long time.  (Come to think of it, I haven't seen our resident bunny rabbits lately.  Uh oh.)

8/23/16

For at last it is wonderfully dark and moody out
Broody heavy clouds,
Portents of storms
Fitful drops that come and go
The kind of weather I adore, if it were but a bit cooler,
To give a bite to the breeze

Gunmetal clouds
Dark echo-y sky
Faint booming rumbles
A drop or two landing
Close by -

Rumble Bumbling closer
The air heavy
The life-giving
Gift of rain
Is given.


8/24/16

Hot sun again
After yesterday's
Lovely reprieve
Can summer never end?
It is more stubborn
Than winter.
The saucy siren is far
More tenacious
Than the grumpy old man.
And alas, the fresh young thing
Known as Spring
And Bountiful, zaftig
Lady Autumn
Never grace us with their presence
Long enough,

We are thus forced
To deal for far too long
With ill-tempered,
Complaining old Winter,
And hot-headed,
Unmerciful Summer.


8/25/16

Random thoughts:
(About the only sort I have anymore!)
Things I miss about childhood:
1. Somebody else worried about the bills.
2. New notebooks, pencils, crayons, lunchbox every September.
3. The Helms Bakery truck and my 6 cent chocolate donut
4. The dairy right down the block, where I could pat the cows who gave the milk I drank, and say "Thanks for the ice cream!"
(It closed when I was 5, all the cows left in a big truck, and I was hearbroken.)
5. Playing outside until the street light right accross from our house came on.


Once again Texas
Bathes us in its
Hot, fetid breath.
No respite in these
dank, heated
Gusts of air.

Where, oh, where is the
Cool kiss of the North Wind?
Holding out until it is a draft from the
Deep Freeze, no doubt.

I long for the crisp days of Autumn, not really cold,
But certainly not hot.
Fair tempered, with but a thrilling hint
Of frozen mysteries to come.

8/26/16

So ready to say goodbye
To sticky, sultry Summer.
It's driving me insane.
Always too warm
Working up a sweat
Just sitting still.

Poor plants don't know
What to think
Getting scraggly
And dying for a drink
I never know what to say
Only allowed to water
Every other day.


And so, after a very long and busy day, I am rounding up my thoughts and my small electronic devices that need to be plugged in for the night, and getting ready to go brush my teeth and try to sleep.  I say try, because at my age, in this weather, sleep is sometimes an iffy thing.

Musings From A Well-Steamed Season

If there are indeed mosquito borne illnesses present in Oklahoma, I should have died a LONG time ago.  Even with repellent, I attract, and am bitten by at least three mosquitoes every time I go outdoors in anything resembling twilight.

There is something about August that disagrees with my constitution in general.  I have this nearly every year.  I feel out of sorts, physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Dis-satisfied with life in general, unwilling to do even the usual things I like to do, tired, dreary, generally depressed.
I don't know if it's the oppressive nature of the weather, or my personal biorhythms, or something in the air, but August bums me out.   There is a virtual volcano of emotion, words, descriptions, stories building up inside me, and yet I am too innervated to sit down and write them. 
As the clouds billow up, yet no storms appear, no refreshing rain falls, so is the inside of my skull lately.  Lots under the surface, nothing making its way out.

Always I feel like over-eating at times like this.  As though food is the one and only panacea for this lethargy, this disconnectedness.  Food only makes it worse.  Makes me feel heavy, unwell, and unhappy because I really am meant to be thinner than that.  The frame I walk around on is relatively small, and the joints of it tell me in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS when I gain so much as a pound. 

Oh, but ice cream is SOOOO GOOOOD on a hot, sultry, nasty summer day. And I really don't need the calories.  I need to spend 90 minutes or so on the elliptical.

I also need to write.  I have been neglecting that lately.  Too much spinning around in this head of mine, gotta let some out.
That's what my journals and this blog are for, and I hope that at least this much of it makes a tiny bit of sense.

Light is usually welcome
Except when it only brings more heat
Darkness is usually unwelcome
Except when it brings relief from unrelenting heat
And burning brightness.

Sunshine is usually far more pleasant
Than the ominous shadows of clouds
But when the landscape of my soul
Is parched and desolate
Then sunlight burns,
And rain is a much desired thing.