Sunday, November 24, 2013

On A Cold And Dreary Day - A Warm and Thankful Heart

This is what I see when I look down at the flowerbed in front of the office window. I can feel how cold it is, even with the heater going and wearing my nice warm clothes.  This weather is the kind of creeping cold and dreary stuff that can really sap your energy and get you down if you let it. 
I have been trying not to let it. 

Perhaps the specter of a sinus cold has been haunting me.  I haven't developed such a thing; but since new territory has been charted in my voice work, the perverse logic of my life says that it's about time for a serious bout of laryngitis. 

So, I decided today called for some serious coziness.  I made some cinnamon spice tea, and put the #1 Soprano Album on to play.  Very surprised by how many of these arias I know and/or have studied at least a little.   I have finished reading one book on my Nook, and almost finished reading another, so my "to be read" list will soon be shorter. 
Wondering now how bad the streets will be tomorrow.  Would like to go to voice lesson, but that may not be a good idea.  Matt says our driveway currently is a sheet of ice.  Much will depend on the temperature and amount of sunlight tomorrow morning.

This kind of weather can depress me, but it also makes me grateful.  Grateful to have a house and the means to keep it warm.  Grateful for clothes and food, and books, and for friends whose electronic greetings remind me that we are not isolated here, not really.  We still have contact with the outside world. 
Also grateful that Matt is here, and not thousands of miles away like he was the first time I dealt with weather like this.  I no longer have the worry of being on my own in a foreign country with weather that I have NO experience dealing with.  I have at least a little experience with this weather now, and we have been back in the States for 20 years now, but I am still far from where I grew up.
Grateful too, for the simple kind of kitschy wisdom of Mary Engelbreit.  I love her teacups and mugs and greeting cards, etc.  This cup I was using today says "Be warm inside and out."  A nice reminder that a warm heart can go a long way toward making you feel warm all over.  And you make others' hearts warm, and the goodness just keeps going.

Grateful, too, to have work I love that gives back to the community.  It is a rare privilege to be able to do work that you love. 
This season of Thanksgiving finds me with SO much to be thankful for.  Friends of long standing who feel more like family, family that is thankfully fairly healthy, newer friends (some of whom we've never met face to face) who brighten our lives,  a church that we love that loves us back,  a community to live in that has real spirit and heart, a husband who really loves me, a chance to sing and learn more about singing.  That list is nowhere near in order of importance.  God has blessed Matthew and I with almost 30 years together, and we still can laugh together.  That is a great gift.  Grateful that God has been so generous with His grace in our lives.  Grateful for the chance to try to share the love with others where we can.
  The objective of our faith, in my mind anyway, is not to try to cram ideologies down someone's throat, to"save" them, but to LOVE them.  That's what Jesus said when asked.  The greatest commandment was to love God with your whole being, and the second to love your neighbor as yourself.  Seems to me sometimes the hardest part of that equation is loving ourselves.  Who better to know all our foibles and flaws and to be completely unforgiving of them?  I don't know about you, but I know all too well how short I fall in almost every thing I attempt to do right.  I don't like to forgive myself, either.  We're supposed to, though.  Supposed to learn from the mistakes, forgive ourselves, move on, and remember that everybody else is in this same leaky boat with us, and therefore they deserve some slack, too.
A lot to be thankful for, and a lot more work to do in order to be a better person.  Isn't that how it's supposed to be? 
I hope so.  I like having work to do and things to learn.

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