I Know I Should Make Myself Write, But...

It's late.  I'm tired.  I've been lurking around on social media sites wasting time.  This is the second of three long days for me.  I worked today, and then had Cathedral choir rehearsal this evening.  Yesterday I didn't work, but I had Master Chorale rehearsal.  I also have to work in voice practice on most days, and most days I don't manage to do it.  Must not ignore the gift.  Must work to make it better.  I keep telling myself that. 
I have been told I have a talent for poetry, and on some subjects I can write well.  Most of the time I ramble. 
When one has a talent, however rough, one is expected to make something of it.  Music is beautiful, and transporting when you get it right.  The hard work it takes to get it right is a very rough slog.  Often quite painful.  Vocal exercises, especially for a soprano, can be grueling, and you will have NO friends or family members left if they once hear you practice. (I've been told I peeled paint, but my voice coach said the effect she sought was wrought by those very irritating exercises.)
However, once you put in the work, and you get into a real piece of music, especially if it is one of the classics, you begin to feel at one with the whole universe.  The music moves you, moves through you, reaches out to others, flows back to you - it's magical. 
That experience can be had in choirs as well.  It is even more meaningful because choral music is a group effort, you must listen to each other, and blend with each other.  I am privileged to sing with an exceptional choir at St. Paul's Episcopal Cathedral in Oklahoma City.  Most of us in Cathedral choir have been singing together for many years now.  We blend very well, we seem to pick up new things fairly quickly, and when we get to sing a piece we know well, it is a moving experience.  It gives me goosebumps.  Master Chorale has a lot of potential to be that good.  If we all work a little more on our own with those large choral works, it will be easier to put together at rehearsals.  We have a lot of good voices, and a fearless, determined director. 
Writing for me has always been more of a challenge than anything musical.  I can FEEL the music.  The writing is also something I feel, but I haven't had a poem present itself to me in a long time.  Most of my poetry is not that profound.  It is just a shorter way to communicate a feeling or even a sort of emotional story.  These blog posts have become more of a journal than anything else. 
The hard slog of writing is even harder for me than the work of vocal exercises.  I don't have a performance looming to force me to work, but I don't want that.  It is a release of angst, a way to send a statement out into the universe saying "I feel this way.  Have you ever felt this way?" 
On rare occasions, the universe answers.
Tomorrow is my eight hour day at the library.  I love my job, I love my coworkers, and I even love some of our customers, but eight hours on my feet is a LONG day.  (Especially when you are a vintage work of art like myself!) 
Here's hoping tomorrow is a productive day.