Musical Triumphs, Musical Frustrations

Last night was our studio recital.  My voice coach has these periodically so we can all see how far we've come, and get experience performing before an audience.  I've been at this for 11 years now.  Some recitals have gone better than others, but this last one went very well indeed.  This was the recital that was postponed twice before.  Once due to illness, and once due to a tornado.  We really never thought we'd get to do this recital  Feels like we've been working on the duet and I've been working on So Anch'io La Virtu Magica FOREVER.  Nice to get the recital on the books and move on to new pieces!  (Much as I LOVE that duet from Marriage of Figaro.  It is gorgeous.)
The frustration I was thinking about was the fact that we thought we were recording the duet, but the cell phone camera malfunctioned, and it was not recorded.  A great shame.  Adria and I did VERY well, if I do say so myself.  So Anch'io went better than I expected.  It actually sounded good.  I asked Matt NOT to record it, as that would have made me really nervous, given how much I have battled with that piece.
So, I cannot share the results of all that hard work with you.  Make no mistake, singing properly is very hard work.  Especially opera.  Very physical.  My weekly lessons with Karen are a real workout.  I feel it in my abs when I get done.  You see, to properly produce sound, you must use your abdominal muscles to help control airflow and support the breath.

There are some recordings I could perhaps share, but the voice recorder over modulates, so my high notes make the speaker crackle.  Not pretty.  There may be a recording of the duet to share, depending on whether Adria remembers to email it to me.  Also, I never sound right to myself on recordings.  I always think there's an odd quality to my voice that I just don't hear when I sing.  I have been told repeatedly by many people that I have a lovely singing voice, and in fact, I have a couple of "fans" who come to all of my recitals.  (They are friends, not relatives.)  I just don't believe it is true when I hear a recording and all I hear are the hesitations, the not quite in place notes, the odd intonations of my voice.  Perhaps I am just insecure and hyper critical of myself.  I have always had this need to be REALLY good at everything I do, so if I screw up, I have a hard time forgiving myself.  I have gotten a lot better about this with age.  Now, I figure not trying at all is a failure.  Trying and flopping is at least a learning experience. Sometimes you do better than you thought you would and end up glad you did it.  Like last night's recital.  I really was ambivalent about So Anch'io.  I was afraid I would really mess it up.  Instead, I did really well, and it made me feel fabulous.  I'd still rather sing Mozart, but at least I conquered this one.
 Working on Mozart right now, from The Abduction From The Seraglio.  (Durch Zaertlilchkeit und Schmeichlen).  It's a cute piece, and fits the voice right now pretty well.  Also working on two by Gilbert and Sullivan.  Learning Poor Wand'ring One from Pirates and The Sun Whose Rays Are All Ablaze from Mikado.  Like the Mikado piece better because it is shorter and easier.  Also, it is a lovely melody line.  (And really neat lyrics).  Poor Wand'ring One has a lot of pointless screeching in it.  (There is a point for a voice student, but for an audience, well, not much.)  Once I can sing it properly, perhaps it will be more enjoyable.  Getting from here to there is a LOT of trudging uphill against the phlegm and old habits. 

I have had quite a few triumphs at recitals, come to think of it.  When I made it through Les Oiseaux without killing myself, I was extremely pleased.  (Also known as the "Doll Aria" from Tales of Hoffmann.)  It is a fun piece, but exhausting.  Lots of trills, runs, high notes, and repeats!  Dove Sono was another that I really loved singing.  It is Mozart, of course, and my voice seems to love Mozart.
Vedrai, Carino was also well received.  Quando Mem Vo worked well, but I really don't have enough "attitude" to sing that one well.

There are some pieces that just take me out of myself and take me soaring with the music.  Dove Sono tends to be one of those.  So is Deh Viene Non Tardar, the one I used to sing to call Skye.  She loved that song, too.  The Sun Whose Rays gets me into that place, too.  When the conditions are just right, I can really make that one ring.  The duet I sang with Adria, the Letter Duet from Figaro, really is transporting, too.  Her voice is lovely, and our voices blend so well, it is all too easy to get lost in the music.  I missed entrances when we first started rehearsing together, because I would be too busy enjoying the music.
Singing with the choir at church is yet another transporting experience.  Our voices blend so well, we know each other so well after so many years of singing together, that the sound is phenomenal for such a small group.  The music we sing is often acapella, and the way we have learned to listen to each other make for some lovely moments.  The fact that we sing out of love and gratitude to God for our ability to sing adds a little something, too.

However, I must end this day with the frustration of being unable to get decent recordings of my singing to share with family and friends.  Matt is hatching a plot, and we shall see.  Future recitals may be sharable.
One good by product of recording is that it makes me determined to work harder and make the recordings sound more like what I hear from inside my head when I sing.  (Though some of the high notes ring and resonate to the point that I can't hear, really...)

Well, I shall leave this here for now, resolved to find a better way to record, and to practice more!
As Ever,
Katie
Lyric Soprano
And still insecure about it after ALL THESE YEARS.

P.S.  At LAST,  a triumph!  Here is a link to the Letter Duet from Marriage of Figaro