Celebrating A Feast In A Time Of Fasting

This Sunday's lunch: Sourdough pancakes, bacon, and mixed berries with orange juice.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

For most of my life, my birthday has fallen during Lent.  Only once in a great while is my birthday before Lent.  This year is no different.  Here we are in the first full week of Lent, and my birthday will fall exactly one week after Ash Wednesday.  When I was a kid, it wasn't really a big deal, my Presbyterian family wasn't overly concerned with Lent.  (We did sometimes have parties on Sunday afternoons because then my Catholic friends could come.) Since becoming an Episcopalian, I have not really changed how I celebrate my birthday, but I have come to appreciate the small pleasures of celebration a bit more.  Sundays are always feast days, even during Lent.  So, having a nice brunch after church is not a problem.  Birthdays are also an exception, I believe, at least for me.  To have a special meal, a cake perhaps, is a nice way to mark the occasion without being too loud about it.  

Lent is after all more about spiritual discipline than physical discipline.  Denying oneself certain foods or certain activities only has value if it does something to sharpen your spiritual awareness.  Does it make me more conscious of the needs of others? Does it help me to be kinder and more tolerant? Can I brighten someone's life with the time/money I save by abstaining from my favorite things?  

For me, being able to share the joy of the company of friends and family, and acknowledging their importance in my life is the important part of any celebration, especially a celebration of another year of life.  

So, as this Sunday runs down, I am getting ready to finish the last of the laundry, and get ready for sleep.  Then, tomorrow, weather permitting, I will get some of my usual Monday things done.  Don't think I'm going to make it out to the commissary, but I can go Tuesday. Maybe.

Monday, February 23, 2015

  Two days before my birthday, and we have snow.  So, instead of being able to do the grocery shopping or to go to my voice lesson, I spent today being lazy, finishing a little laundry, reading, doing 90 minutes on the elliptical, and I will get voice practice and a grocery list completed before I sleep tonight, so I can possibly go to the base to shop tomorrow.  

Today's mail brought more birthday greetings, and my email a nice photo collage of "some of my favorites" from a fellow Perlgirl.  

The only thing that feels like Lent around here today is the weather.  It is cold and snowy,and while it looks pretty, it makes driving anywhere, or even a walk to the mailbox, a dangerous proposition.  Mostly because of the sleet under the snow.  (Not very good traction  for the unwary or those who hurry too much.)
I am thinking that this year, instead of being so focused on my birthday, perhaps it is a good excuse to give to others.  I shall have to come up with sneaky ways to do little things to brighten the day for someone else.  That would be good as a Lenten practice, and it would feel good to help others, too.  Won't be telling you about it in any detail, because that just spoils it. 

Some housework was also done today, so that for once I feel like I'm keeping up with it.  My "Christmas Cactus" is still blooming.  The while one just finished, and the red one is blooming again.  Three whole blooms, but it's better than last year!

Matt is busy making "cauliflower crack" ,  the roasted cauliflower that all of us were eating as an appetizer as soon as it came out of the oven on Saturday.  Ooh!  That stuff is SO good, and it's fairly low-cal, too.  I'll be back after I enjoy some!

It was delicious!  Matthew spoils me something awful.  Now I'm going to make some real, all-butter, honest to gosh Scottish Shortbread for our dessert.  May even dip it in chocolate.  Because:  Birthday Week!  (But yes, it is still Lent, and I should restrain myself from too many indulgences...)

There is also the matter of a grocery list to be planned and written, and the coupons to be found.  Voice practice needs to happen too, so I can see what all I can do when I haven't had allergy meds for almost a week.
Well, the voice practice didn't happen.  It's too late now, and I have to get to bed.  Got the shortbread made, though.  Here's hoping for clear enough roads to drive on tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The trip to the commissary was not too bad.  Got all my shopping done, roads were not bad at all, talked to my Mom on the phone and got my short elliptical stint in before I ventured out.  (Made sure roads had time to clear, and people who had to work were already there before I left home.)
Matt and I ate dinner at the Saltgrass Steakhouse, and then stopped at our favorite liquor store, Moore Liquor, for some chocolate stout to make my birthday cake with.  Went to the larger Crest store on 27th and Penn for some other stuff.  So, now, at 8:30 pm, I get to make my own birthday cake.
Oh, and my FitBit One is going bonkers on me.  Showing yesterday's numbers PLUS today's for my daily totals.  Hope it calms down by tonight.  I'm leaving it on its charger for now.

Am about halfway through the Chocolate Stout Cake preparation.  Waiting on the stout/butter/cocoa mixture to cool so it won't pre-cook the eggs and curdle the sour cream when I add it to them. 

Here's the recipe for the Chocolate Stout Cake

It's a King Arthur Flour recipe.  Should be good.  I'll let you know tomorrow after choir practice.  The mixture of the stout and melted butter and dark cocoa smells divine. 

This is the stout and melted butter getting ready for the cocoa

Here's my beginning set up for the cake...

The cake is in the oven now.  I'm going to go hit  the elliptical trainer for a little while and then check on it when the timer goes off.  I'm going to be cruel and leave this post here.  I will post more about the cake tomorrow.

We'll see if I succeed in celebrating a feast while still remembering that it is, in fact, Lent, a season of self-denial and spiritual quest.

Let The Wild Revels Begin!

Me and my best friend, lover, husband: Matthew.  Long ago and far away.

 Friday, February 20th

My work week is done, that means that my Birthday Vacation Week has officially begun!  Not much exciting stuff planned, but some fun stuff.  Friends coming over tomorrow for braised short ribs, got an early birthday present in the mail today, Contemplating whether or not to make a birthday cake this year.

Saturday, February 21st

Got up and cleaned house this morning.  Still have to work out and start laundry before friends arrive at "5-ish".  Matt is busy cooking.
Got another birthday present in the mail today.  The other Perlgirls are spoiling me.  Now I have to figure out how to spoil them back.
The dinner this evening was FABULOUS!  Dear Husband has outdone himself!  Beef short ribs braised in wine, with carrots and onions, butternut squash soup, roasted cauliflower, Gratin Daphinois (of potatoes with Gruyere).  SO good!  Also, had the company of very good friends, and poundcake and berries for dessert.
Had a Mustang Brewing Co. Washita Wheat Beer before dinner, and some very nice Shiraz from our friends at Canadian River Winery and Vineyards with dinner.  Had some herb tea with dessert, and used the birthday gift my friend Kelly sent for the tea.  (A mug covered with pictures of my favorite actor's mug!)

They are threatening us with nasty winter precipitation starting tomorrow into Monday.  I sincerely hope it doesn't come on very strong.  I would like freedom to travel around the area on my birthday week.  (Also, I'd really prefer to do the commissary trip on Monday if I can, but since I'm off work this week, I could easily go another day.)

Even though it is Birthday Vacation Week, I will still need to do laundry tomorrow.  Sigh.  Laundry never sleeps.  It just keeps sitting there piling up on you until you run out of clean underwear.

Getting ready to close this out and head for sleep.  Before I go, a little poem:

Treasures
As time goes by
It seems to me
That though I try
To let you all  see
How much I care
I cannot express
Or easily share
The happiness
The laughter,
The joy
You bring to my life.
Dear friends,
Know that no
Material things
Can ever mean
As much to me
As the joy of your
Friendship does.
Your kindness
Overwhelms me
The fact that you
Are there when I
Need cheering up
That you let me
Cheer you up, too,
The give and take,
The laughter
And the tears
Are things I will keep
In my heart
And treasure
For YEARS.

All my love to my wonderful Matthew, our dear friends Mike and Nancy Rogers, and Mary, Kelly, Fi, Mallory, Jana, Linda, Paulette, Patti, Chloe, Anna, Marie, Amy, and Brina (the Perlgirls),
and of course, Julie D, Megan, Grace, Aaron, Darrin, Sally, Emily, Annette, Heather, MaryM, Molly, Shannon, and all the other wonderful, talented, and dedicated people I work with.  Life is good.
Katie

This Year It's "Double Nickles"

Yes, another birthday is bearing down on me.  Next week.  Halfway through my fifties.  They say "Fifty is the new 30!"  but most mornings, my body agrees with my friend Mr. Perlman: "Fifty may be the new 30, but sixty is still fuckin' 60!" 
In other words, nothing is quite as easy as it once was.  The body doesn't respond as well or as quickly to physical challenges, your mind may not be quite as quick as it once was.  (In my case, anyway, this is directly attributable to the fact that I wake several times a night certain that I am being roasted alive.  Aging, especially if you are a woman, is not for sissies, my dears.)

On the other hand, there is something liberating about being "older".  You may find that what other people think isn't quite as important as it once was.  You may well be more comfortable in your own skin now, even if it is rather wrinkly in places.  True, I no longer cause young men to walk into the backs of parked cars, (as my father alleged I once did when washing my car in our driveway while wearing my bathing suit) but I still look good.  Most of the time, I feel young.  I don't have anyone constantly reminding me that I'm actually old.  (Sorry Mom, but you wanted to have a baby when you were 36.  Lucky you, you had a teenaged girl in the house when you were struggling with menopause.  You were far braver than I ever was.)

There are reminders of my actual age everywhere, though.  Songs I listened to on Top 40 radio (which no longer even exists, I don't believe) in high school and college now populate the "oldies" stations.  Classic jazz artists and big band music that my parents loved (and I reviled as a teen for that very reason) are now very appealing to me.  I have grown up enough to appreciate them, to hear the artistry present in them.  There are events I remember watching play out on the Nightly News that the younger folks I work with learn about in History class. 

One thing that will keep you young, though, is a passion for learning new things.  Staying engaged with life, learning how to use new technology, reading new authors, listening to music you might have passed on before, and having an interest or two to pursue can keep you going.  My singing is an interest that challenges me and keeps me working toward  improving my skills and learning more about music, my job is endlessly fascinating in the myriad of new challenges, new skills to learn and share with others. 

You see, that's what my job is really all about.  Keeping people connected to the resources they need to live a full and well informed life.  Libraries do that.  We provide entertainment, education, opportunities to enjoy programs on various subjects, access to materials that you may need for work or school, even physical fitness programs.  Libraries also provide to you a group of professionals who are dedicated to maintaining your right to access those materials, and helping you access them.  Most of them are also dedicated to being a vital part of your community, too.

That's what keeps me young.  Getting to go hang out with some of the smartest, coolest, funniest people in town every day.  My fellow staffers are great at their jobs, and they are interesting people, too.  Many of our customers are pretty cool, too.  Having to use technology in my job keeps me up to speed on it for the most part, and social media may be one of my guilty pleasures, but it helps me stay current with the culture, and keep up with many of the people I really care about.

So, all I have to do is survive this coming week, doctor visit tomorrow and all, and then I have a week off, during which I will celebrate that birthday that's breathing down my neck.  I have no idea what we'll do.  We may see a movie, we may eat out, maybe have friends over, I don't know.  I do know that on my actual birthday, I'll be at choir practice, so I suppose I could make a cake to take and share. Whatever we do, I will be grateful for another year of this life.  Sometimes, it seems difficult to slog through, and I feel like I'm messing everything up, other times, it feels pretty damn wonderful.  My family, my husband, and my friends both here and far away, are the best birthday presents ever.  The love I have surrounding me is the greatest gift I can imagine.  I hope I succeed in sharing it with you, because that's the only thing to do with love: share it. 

Yes, It's Been Monday All Day

To begin with, I woke up with a bit of a headache, and got a slow start on the day. 
The workouts I normally do were all accomplished, no problem.
I got a few chores done.
I have NO idea where the rest of my morning and early afternoon went.

Voice lesson was not as successful as the last two because I had sinus issues that were causing irritation, and therefore problems with my upper range.  (No nice, clear high notes today.)

At this point in the late evening, I am well into the 12 to 14 hours of fasting I must do before they draw blood for my annual cholesterol, glucose, etc screenings.  Haven't had any alcohol for five days, can't have anything but water tonight and tomorrow morning until they get the blood drawn.  I'm gonna be a serious bitch tomorrow morning.  No caffeine. Yikes.  Hope I don't really have to deal with anyone until after I'm allowed some caffeine. Driving while decaffeinated may be interesting as well.  There also may be the small issue of a withdrawal headache.
It could well be that tomorrow will feel even more like Monday than today has.  (Especially for the lab people who have to deal with me when I've had NO caffeine!)

Musing On Soprano Things

I started this journey with my voice 12, almost 13 years ago.  The singer I had leaned on a lot was leaving our choir, and I felt insecure.  So, I started taking lessons from the same vocal coach that she studied with.  This set me on a journey of self discovery that has caused changes in more areas of my life than just my singing.

Friends have commented that I seem to have more confidence in myself, I am less likely to sit back and let others carry conversations.  Friends who have heard me sing are also sometimes astonished that it was ME they heard singing. 

Twelve years ago, I had a light, unsupported, unremarkable singing voice.  Nice enough, OK for choral work, nothing to write home about.  Then I started taking voice lessons with Karen Smith-Pearson.  I discovered the great literature of Grand Opera, and classics beyond church music.  I also discovered some of the great oratorios that I thought would always be beyond my skills.  I also rediscovered show tunes.

For my first recital, I sang Oh, What A Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma! .  That was very difficult for me, not technically, but as far as my confidence and my nerves were concerned.  After it was over, and I realized how well I had truly done, I was energized.  The high you get from singing well, and truly feeling it, there is NOTHING like it!  I wanted to do it again!

Over the last twelve years, I have worked very hard (with Karen's skillful help and patience) and I have seen my range  increase, my voice gain resonance, power, luster, even a little vibrato when needed.  Sounds have come out of  my mouth that I never, ever thought I could correctly produce. 
For recital, I have sung pieces from Mozart, Offenbach, Handel, and Donizetti.  I still marvel that I sang the Doll Aria from Tales of Hoffmann and didn't crash and burn. 
This last recital, it was a Holiday recital, so I sang a piece from Handel's Messiah.  "Rejoice Greatly, O Daughter Of Zion."  Karen and I had BOTH had issues with this piece, the runs were a particular challenge.  Everything came together at performance time, and it was one of those shining, rare, flying moments when you get lost in the music, and the music takes you up to the heavens.  It was truly a great feeling. 

 Since the recital, I have had another breakthrough with my vocal development.  The resonance and depth of my upper register has increased, and I have actually been able to sing a few coloratura pieces without squeaking all the high notes.  (The Minnie Mouse on helium effect.  NOT desirable.)  SO glad to finally be able to get past that pinched off place, at least most of the time.  No, now my high notes sound like real, resounding, grown up high notes.  At least more often than not.

It DOES do wonders for one's self confidence to know that one has such an instrument of power at one's disposal.  My t-shirt that says "Keep calm or I'll use my Opera Voice" is not an idle threat.  My opera voice could hurt you.  ;-)

I realize that I do not have a great voice, merely a good one, but I have so much more than I ever dreamed I'd have.  Practice isn't boring, isn't work, it's a challenge, it's fun, unlike the frustration piano practice always was for me.  Singing truly takes me to another place, another time, takes me out of myself, really gives my soul wings.

Make no mistake, singing properly IS work!  It can be damned HARD work, but it is SO rewarding! When the notes come out right, when the pinched place finally opens up, the wonders, the joys you can find in that beautiful sound make it all worthwhile.  You share that joy and beauty with others, it magnifies it, multiplies it, makes the whole universe shine.

There is still a LOT for me to learn.  I told Karen I feel like I'm still trying to learn how to walk in these high heels.  This sound isn't secure and locked down yet.  Lots more practice required to get the rough edges off, get the muscles used to putting the sound in the right place, get the breath pressure correct.

I am SO looking forward to the process; for I know the end result will be glorious.

The journey continues...

Random Observations

1.  I spend an inordinate amount of time sorting things.  Most of my job involves sorting and organizing.  When I get home, I have to sort laundry, silverware, groceries, etc.  I am just a biologically based sorting engine.

2.  Free time escapes faster than work time.  If I sit down to work on something at work, chances are I will finish in a fairly timely manner. (Phone calls and meeting room bookings notwithstanding.)  If I sit down to work at my desk at home, a million other squirrels will appear and need to be chased. 

3. Working out really does feel good.  Not so much when you first start, but by the time it's done, you feel a lot better about yourself.  Like you accomplished something.

4. Laundry expands so that you never really get done with it.  Laundry is an ongoing battle.

5. When we are resolved to eat healthy foods, the grocery list becomes longer and more complicated.

6. I admired James Spader's acting even before he started doing the Blacklist, wherein he wears a Fedora a lot.  (Did I mention I really like Fedoras?) (And though I am OVERJOYED that Ron Perlman will be on the Blacklist next Sunday, WHY has there been no Shatner?  Shatner and Spader play off one another SO well.)  (Hello, Boston Legal?)

* Ron being on the Blacklist is what has motivated me to start catching up on the episodes I have missed.  Thanks again, Mr. P, for helping me find a good show!

7.  Stay away from Pinterest if you are on a diet.  People persist in posting really good-sounding, EASY, decadent dessert recipes.  I have tried a few.  They ARE good, easy, and decadent.  And they will make you fat.

8.Even among geeks and nerds, I'm a misfit.  I and my obessive fandoms do not fit neatly into anyone's idea of what a geek girl is like.  I have MANY areas in which I have a generous amount of knowledge and experience, (like baking, cross-stitch embroidery, Star Trek TOS, gardening...) I do not specialize in one category of geek behavior.  Also, I can interact with Mundanes without anxiety on either side. According to the book Geek Girls Unite!  I am even atypical in my music geekness.  I like a wide variety of stuff, from grand opera to Sinatra, to bluegrass, to Scottish folksongs, to some current pop music.

9. Once you start collecting Pop vinyl figures and Gipsy Danger figures, you can't stop.  There are now three Gipsy Danger figures in my office, and Two Groot figures, as well as a Rocketeer, a Clay Morrow Pop vinyl, and action figure, and a Pop vinyl Iron Giant.  (Of course, my husband has the 18" Gipsy Danger, and she's in the living room!)

10.  A random tweet from someone you admire can brighten your whole day.  Even if they tease you about your typos in said tweet.

11.  A hug from Matthew can fix almost anything.  And he can nearly ALWAYS get me to smile, and laugh, even.

12. Some people are so organized that they really are ready to file their taxes in January.  This is why they get upset that we have no tax forms at the library until February.  I don't even have my W-2 forms yet, people, nor the interest reports we will need.  (Also, if I'm going to pay, I'm gonna keep that money earning interest in MY bank account as long as I can before I send it to Uncle.) We do have an accountant, and she's worth her fee, because we have gotten refunds most years that are more than her fee.  (Also, her fee is cheaper than a penalty if we screw up)

13. I am reluctant to number any substantive point in this post 13.  I guess I have a bit of latent Triskadecaphobia.  

14.  My obsession with office supplies must mark me as a partial Luddite.  I love technology, and use quite a lot of it, but I sit here in an office that has no less than two mugs full of pens, half of them fountain pens, and two mugs full of pencils, half of them drawing and colored pencils.  (Oh, and one pencil has a pewter dragon sitting on top of it, with its tail curled around the pencil, and one has a plastic Garfield on top, and another has Odie.)  There are also styli that go with my touchscreens hiding out in at least two of those mugs.  There's another mug full of bookmarks.  I do an awful lot of my reading on my tablets now.  Ebooks.  No bookmarks needed.  Yet, I have a collection. As for other office supplies, there are drawers and shelves filled with paper, stationery, card stock, paperclips, ink, stamp pads, decorative stamps, tape, and calligraphy pens. 

15.  No matter when I start these blog posts, I never seem to finish them until fairly late at night.  On rare occasions they will get themselves written earlier, but not often. 

Not Much Going On...

Pretty much into the "put your head down and slog" part of the New Year.  Still working out the kinks of the resolutions, working on other goals that need to be met, trying to avoid the flu that seems to be running all over the place. 

Had a very lazy weekend so far, and so tomorrow I have to play catch up.  Even the laundry has been allowed to languish a bit because the appliances (including washer and dryer) had their annual professional tune-up and maintenance checks yesterday. 

So far, the resolution to up the exercise is going pretty well.  Have done at least an hour of exercise most days, split between walking and the elliptical, or all on the elliptical, depending on weather.  One of the things I need to do tomorrow is figure out how to get my weight routine  back into the mix.  (Gotta tighten up these flabby arms!)

On the plus side, I must have looked really skinny on Friday, because at least four different patrons asked me if I'd lost weight.  That helps the motivation a LOT!  Friday was also good because I heard from some Twitter correspondents I don't always hear from, and it brightened up my day.  (Even if I DID get teased about my notorious typos.) 

Have to start watching the diet more closely, as the checkup with cholesterol checks is next month.  Guess I better plan now on low-fat, and more fruit and veggies.  Gotta cut back on the caffeine, too, so the BP won't be high.  (More sleep would also help this, but hey, I have a hard time turning the brain off any earlier.  Of course, less caffeine would probably help that, too...)

Speaking of turning the brain off earlier, it's working on midnight, so I guess I better cut this short and start trying to shut the ol' brain down for the night. 

I hope all who read this are finding success in this new year, and encouragement, and progress toward your goals. 
Never give up, never surrender!  (To quote a very good parody.)