The Annual Trip To Mom's

On this very warm October Friday, I am finishing some laundry and preparing for the annual trip to my Mom's house in Alabama.  This is not our family home, she sold that in the 90s and moved to  a little town in Southern Alabama, next door to her sister, my Aunt Margaret.  It isn't far from where she and several of my aunts and uncles grew up.  (The family home was in Los Angeles County, California, in a little unincorporated area called Hacienda Heights.  At least MY version of the family home.  Moved there when I was 14 and all the others were already grown and gone.  I finished Jr. high, high school, and college living in that house.) (The older kids call the Compton house the family home, 'cause that's where they finished school.  By the time I reached Jr. High, Compton was no longer a good place to be.)

At any rate, I already mailed two boxes of clothes ahead to my Mom's so I'll have stuff to wear to do all the yard work we're going to do.  I left some stuff there last year, but it is all probably too big for me now.  I've lost 30 pounds since December.  (20 of it since May.) I have to pack all the stuff I might need en route into my huge purse so I don't have to mess with a carry on.  This usually works pretty well.

It is late evening now, and my preparations are almost done.  My sister is worrying about thunderstorms delaying her plane.  Sigh.  They'll come or they won't, it's the weather in the Plains.  Usually don't pop up bad until later in the afternoon than when we'll be there.  Last Saturday, they didn't start until after 4 pm., at least as far as I remember. (I was a bit, uh, distracted last Saturday.)

It is now one week and two days since I wrote the paragraphs above.  I have survived the journey to Mom's, the week of yard work, and the journey home.  Still trying to get my mind and body back on normal schedule.  Mom's house is in the same time zone, but the schedule is vastly different when dealing with an elderly relative.  Earlier up and earlier to bed.  Also had to get up and out to work early, before it got too hot. 

The weather is part of my disorientation right now.  I left warm temperatures behind here in Oklahoma, to go to even warmer (and more humid) temperatures in southern Alabama.  I came home to true Oklahoma Autumn.  Cool, sunny days and cold nights.  Beautiful clear, bluer than blue skies, and very bright sparkly starry nights.  I find myself contemplating taking the winter things out of hibernation and putting the summer ones away.  Not a good chore, as many of my winter workout things will no longer fit.  They will be far too large.  Now, this is a good thing on one hand, because it shows that I have lost 30 pounds.  It is a bad thing in that I really don't want to spend more money on clothes right now.  I had to upgrade my phone during the short week I was home before going to Alabama, because the venerable Droid X2 decided that it was done during our weekend at Dallas ComiCon Fan Days.  (Where I finally got to meet Ron Perlman.)  This is not an inexpensive undertaking.  I am still not sure how much my new bill will be every month.  The new phone, however, is wonderful.  Except for the fact that the wireless charging back won't fit in my Otter Box Defender case, it's perfect.  So, I have to do without the wireless charging capability until I can find a protective case that will work with it.  I really prefer the Defender cases, though, as they really make the phone easier to handle, and they keep it in almost new condition. (Plus my new case is really pretty.  Purple outer case with a seafoam green inner case.)


I also have to do the paperwork.  Bills to be paid, budget fussed.  Email cleared up.  Sigh.  Made chili for dinner.  (No heads, SOA fans, I promise.  I discuss cooking with Michael Ornstein sometimes, NOT with Chucky.)  Only  unusualness in this chili was about a cup of Left Hand Milk Stout. Added some depth to the flavor.

It felt so different to be out of my native adult environment, away from my husband, and with my Mom and my sister, who both tend to think of me sometimes as still being a very spoiled child.  I will admit to being a bit spoiled, but I am no longer a child.  I think it surprises my sister every year when we start all this work, exactly how much I CAN do.  I know when I was a child I was pretty useless except as an ornament or a distraction.  These days, I have experience running a household, often for long periods of time on my own, and in a foreign country far from family.  I have experience dealing with the public, handling all sorts of transactions, and performing for an audience.  I can also successfully navigate the bureaucracy of the military that affects my life.  I am confident in my ability to do my job and in my relationships with others.  Why, then, do I become a very insecure and fearful person around my family?  Perhaps because I know they will never really understand a lot of things about me.  I am the different one in this bunch, the sci-fi and fantasy fan, the musical one, the poet, the daydreamer.  They never did understand my non-sequitur comments, never could follow my admittedly eccentric train of thought.  Matthew can.  He's always been able to figure me out.  One reason I married the man.  He knows me. And he loves me anyway.
Another thing that bothered me was the way this trip made me reflect on leave taking.   When someone leaves this life, they can do so in a number of different ways.  They can go unexpectedly and suddenly, like my nephew, and send us all into shock and grief.  They can go out fighting to the last, like Melodie did, brave, inspiring, and striving to their last breath, or they can go little at a time, the way Mom is.  She is going to be 90 on her next birthday, and she is growing weaker, and her mind a bit fainter every time I see her.  She forgets little things, she forgets she just told you something, and so tells you again.  And again.  She doesn't cook, or quilt, or even read much anymore.  All were things she loved to do.  She has trouble walking, and spends most of her day just hanging out in her recliner, with old TV shows re-running in the background.
My sister is getting older, too, but she is as spirited and stubborn as ever.  Her father's daughter.  She will never really be old, I don't think.  Too much attitude.  Even if she is a grandma.
As for the work we did this week, well, I DO have a few pictures.

Azalea by Mom's driveway, during.

Same azalea after.

Circle of Azaleas, after trimming.

Sister Susie trimming.

Front of house, before

We did the back yard, too, but I am having trouble getting these photos to behave, so I think I will cut my losses and end this blog entry now.  I still have a lot to get done before resuming my regularly scheduled life tomorrow.