Things I Have Learned

Things my marriage has taught me:

1)  The minute you get an interview for a good job, he will get orders to move to a new duty station.

2)  There is a great deal to be said for the alone time available when the spouse is TDY.  You learn to be independent, and if you're lucky, he isn't gone all that long.

3)  Extra flight caps stored in the car are an absolute necessity.  Especially if your man leaves his on airplanes all the time.

4)  Any major appliance about to fail, or automotive or other household disaster that may be looming will wait until spouse is TDY to drop on your head.

5)  Forget wondering where the missing socks go, where the heck do the missing forks end up?  Seriously.  I don't want to be standing in the way when they show back up.  (We are down at least five forks from one set of flatware alone, and this one hasn't been involved in a PCS move, so we can't blame the packers.)

6)  The true test of a marriage is its ability to withstand the riding of a tandem bicycle.  Especially if he is a former road racer who likes to spin the pedals ALL the time.  (Also bad if he takes revenge for being tickled by running over bumps and not warning you.  If you are the stoker, on the rear seat, as I was, bumps will tend to launch you off the seat unless you know they're coming up...)
(Note, almost 30 years later, we ARE still married...)

7) Tolerance of one another's enthusiasms is a good policy.  He doesn't say much about my Beauty and the Beast fandom, and I don't say much about his Bernadette Peters obsession.  (Truth be told, I appreciate her work, too.  She is one heck of a good singer and actress.)

8) Things you can do together are important.  We both like to cook, we both sing.  Sometimes, we even collaborate on recipes and we sing duets!  (When he doesn't sing over me.  He has a very powerful and dark Baritone, I am a lyric Soprano.)

9)  Unfortunately, nagging doesn't work.  Some things he will just have to learn from difficult experience.  You are NOT his mother.

10)  No matter how bad things seem, no matter how angry you may be, never go to sleep, or let him leave on a trip without telling him you love him.  You never know.  (And you do know you love him.)  (At least, I know I love Matthew.  He's still alive, isn't he?)


Things I have learned from my job:

1)  Flexibility is necessary for growth.  That rut you like being stuck in is not good for you or anybody else.  Go with the flow, learn new ways of doing things.

2)  People will respond well to being treated with kindness and given your whole attention.  There will always be some cranky stinkers, but most people are glad to be pleasant if you are.

3)  Young people today are not as bad as you may think. In fact, many of them are stellar individuals who have an excellent work ethic, and are kind and caring human beings, too.

4)  You are only as "old" as your attitude.  You can choose to dwell in the past and be left behind, or you can learn about new technology and fit right in with today's society.  I choose to learn all I can about new technologies.  Some of them have proven fun AND useful.

5)  Library staffs run on chocolate.  (It's true.  Chocolate is absolutely necessary.)

Things I have learned from life in general:

1)  You are never as skinny as you think you are.  Always try the clothes on before you buy.

2)  If you water the garden well, it will rain for three straight days shortly thereafter.  If you DON'T water the garden, it will be hot and dry for three days straight.  Your plants will all die.

3)  A good haircut is worth what you pay for it.  Ditto for color done in a salon.

4)  You are never too old to put your favorite music on and dance like crazy around the house.  It is good therapy, and makes you feel like a teenager again - at least for awhile.

5)  Buy yourself flowers.  Most of the time, nobody else is going to, and sometimes you need that beauty. 

6)  Find something you love to do, and put your whole heart into it.  I sing.  I love it when I can stand up and bring out a sound that rings clear and true. 

7)  If you were good at something that you have given up, try it again.  You may actually find you are even better at it now.

8)  Try new things.  New foods, new ways of doing things, new authors, new activities, anything you haven't tried before.  It keeps your spirit engaged, keeps you from becoming stale.

9)  Yes, that "old lady" in the mirror is you.  No, you do not look as bad as you think you do.  Most people you see every day now do not know or do not remember how you looked at 22, so don't dwell on lost youth.

10)  Tell ALL the people you love that you love them when you have the chance.  Even if they are not family, tell them.  If you love what they do, their sense of humor, their smile, the fact that they are always where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there, tell them you love them for it.  There is no such thing as too much love.  Everyone you appreciate deserves to know they are appreciated.

Those of you who actually read this blog, I do appreciate you.  Those who also write, I appreciate you because I know how hard it can be to stare down a blank page.  Those of you who have inspired me, and you know who you are, (ahem, Anne Lower,  Michael M. Ornstein)  I appreciate you and I love the fact that you share your talents with the world.